


The Price for Loving You

by Salmon_I



Category: Gravitation
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Aizawa is a jackass, Break Up, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Fame can kinda suck, Getting Back Together, Heartbreak, I am not joking here!, Jealousy, Love is complicated, Love while Famous is Really Complicated, M/M, Not Gravitation Ex Compliant, Slow Burn, Tatsuha likes being a monk and nobody will ever convince me otherwise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2019-09-16 03:21:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 62,634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16946019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Salmon_I/pseuds/Salmon_I
Summary: When Fame's involved, love sometimes comes with a price.Chapter 17:"You told me once that you knew you had to share him. You just didn't have to like it.""This is different.""Because it's Hiroshi.""Because he loves him.""But you already knew that. Besides, if he was going to leave you for Hiroshi, he'd have done it a long time ago."Yuki turned to glower at Suguru. The younger man had taken to leaning casually against the wall, arms folded and looking far too comfortable for his liking. "Is there a reason you're here?"





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work contains several sets of lyrics I wrote. Please do not reuse them without permission.

The underground club throbbed with music. It pounded through the room, reverberating off of walls meant to deflect the sound and keep it from reaching outside as much as possible. To those on the crowded dance floor the music vibrated in their heads; raced through their veins. They only broke from the dance floor to grab a drink from the equally crowded bar, or to disappear with a partner - or in some cases partners - into one of the secluded side rooms.

One dancer broke away to head toward the bar, much to the dismay of his dance partners. They tried to plaintively call him back, but gave up - it was impossible to hear anything over the music. You didn't come to the club to talk. You came for the music, or you came to escape.

The dark haired youth heading for the bar came for both. He brushed his hair out of his midnight eyes, though it only fell back. It was out of habit more than anything. He squeezed through the crowd to the bar. Recognizing him as a regular one of the younger bartenders came over, leaning over the bar to shout in his ear - the only way to be heard in the din. "What'll it be tonight, Tatsuha?"

"Sake!" The youth shouted back.

"Must have been a terrible week!" The bartender commented, then pulled back to fetch the drink.

Tatsuha snorted, and turned to look out over the dance floor. He usually drank beer - which he could drink to excess before really getting truly drunk. Sake had more of an effect on him, and he only drank it when he'd had a really, really bad week.

It had been one of those weeks.

He'd mispronounced a name at a funeral. His motorcycle had broken down on the highway on his way back from a different ceremony - prompting an arguement between him and his father. His father insisted that the motorcycle was a) Not a safe mode of travel and b) Not appropriate for a monk.

Even his usual statement that he never wore his robes while riding the motorcycle had not calmed the old man down. He'd had to resort to reminding him it had been his sixteenth birthday present from Mika. It had taken months of pleading to convince her to buy it for him. He'd be damned before he gave it up.

And to top it all off, he'd missed the special preview of Ryuichi's new movie because he'd forgotten to check how much room was on the tape he set up to record it while he was away. The damn tape had cut right when they were about to show it! He still couldn't believe it.

The bartender returned with the sake cup, and he payed him before taking a gulp of the burning liquid and turning back to watch the dance floor. As the song came to an end, the DJ grabbed the mic. "Hey! We've got a special surprise for you all tonight. For those in the know about the underground music scene, these guys probably won't need any introduction. But for the rest of you in the house, this band is at the top of the underground Tokyo music scene. Put your hands together for Vendetta!"

Tatsuha arched an eyebrow, curious. The underground music scene was quite a separate entity than the main music scene. Some were bands who'd tried for years but couldn't succeed anywhere else. Other were musicians who rejected the main music scene as fake - being about glamour and glitz instead of music. Others were just plain awful. Still, he was surprised Kyoto's sole underground club had managed to nab a Tokyo underground big-shot. Unless it was all just hype.

The first chords sent his blood pumping. He froze, still nursing his drink - not even joining in the cheer that the rest of the crowd let loose. 'These guys are good...'

The intro came to an end, and the swirling spotlights fixed into place - revealing the band's three members.

_"Bleed for me."_

The first words of the song caught Tatsuha off-guard, and he found himself staring. The lead singer had jet black hair that fell to his shoulders, and intense brown eyes. Certainly not as intense as his beloved Ryuichi, but still very intense - and fierce. And somehow hot and cold at the same time.

_"I'll take the blame,_   
_If you'll take the pain._   
_Nowhere to run means nowhere to hide._   
_No place to release the cold fury inside._

_"I can't take the agony._   
_Bleed for me..."_

There was a blonde who's hair nearly fell to his waist, and another brunette with cropped hair who were playing the instruments that screamed out the fast but somehow eerie score. Tatsuha could only note that in passing, though, because suddenly the singer's eyes met his. The intensity took his breath away and for a moment he wondered if the guy somehow knew him, the way his eyes narrowed and he kept staring. When he finally broke his gaze away, Tatsuha found himself shaking. He drank the rest of the sake, letting it burn down his throat. But with the singer's strong voice still filling his ears, he wasn't sure it helped.

_"Bleed until your veins run dry._   
_Die, just a little for me._   
_Cry until no tears remain inside._   
_Hurt, just a little for me._

_"I won't be satisfied until your empty._   
_There's a bloodlust inside of me._   
_Bleed for me."_

Tatsuha signaled for another sake as the music interlude played. Despite the rather twisted lyrics, he felt an empathy with the frustration in the song. The jealousy the songwriter felt. His eyes turned slowly back toward the stage when the singer resung the chorus.

_"Bleed until your veins run dry._   
_Die, just a little for me._   
_Cry until no tears remain inside._   
_Hurt, just a little for me._

_"I won't be satisfied until your empty._   
_There's a bloodlust inside of me._   
_Bleed for me."_

The singer's eyes met his again on the last line, and held them. There was something unreadable in them, and Tatsuha found himself strangely powerless against the singer's gaze. When the singer turned his eyes away again, he hastily downed the second cup of sake.

 

* * *

 

 

He stayed through their entire performance. Even though it was getting late, and he knew his father would worry. Even the thought that he'd barely have lied down before it was time for the early morning prayers at this rate couldn't motivate him to tear himself away. It wasn't just that they were good - he'd heard good bands play at the underground clubs. It wasn't even the effect the singer's intense eyes had on him. He knew himself well enough to know the stirrings of attraction, though the way those eyes left him breathless startled him. Still, even that wasn't the sole reason for his choosing to stay. It was the music too - so full of frustration and jealousy. Of anger; bitterness. He could relate to those feelings - perhaps too well.

'Game set and match to the angry youth of Japan.' He tormented himself when the performance came to an end. Paying for his last sake cup, he stood - and was surprised to feel himself waver.

A strong hand caught his arm. "I think you overdid it a little!" A voice shouted in his ear.

Tatsuha turned to tell whoever it was to bugger off, and found himself looking into the same intense eyes that had gazed at him from the stage only a few minutes ago. "Er...um..." Was his suave reply.

"Nagi!" The singer shouted.

Tatsuha blinked. "Nagi?!" He repeated blankly.

"I was actually kind-of hoping you'd reply with your name, not mine!" The other man smirked.

"Tatsuha! Uesugi Tatsuha!" He found himself looking down at the floor, blushing, and not very certain what was the matter with him. It wasn't like he'd never been picked up before. He needed to get a grip - he was usually much smoother than this.

"Tatsuha." Nagi seemed to savor the name, his eyes tracing over the teenage monk's features. "I like it...! So, you heading out now?!"

"Gotta get home!" Tatsuha replied, vaguely aware through the fog of sake around his mind that the other man still had his arm.

"Walking home?!"

"Too far! I came on my motorcycle!"

"Hmm...well, I don't think you should take that way home! If you wrap yourself around a lightpost it would definitely be a shame!" Nagi opinioned. "Got someone to call for a ride?!"

Tatsuha blinked. "Not without getting slaughtered for drinking too much!"

"Which brings me back to my point - you overdid a little!" Nagi offered a slanted grin. "Why don't we try a walk to clear your head?! If all else fails - I know how to ride a motorcycle!"

Tatsuha didn't protest as Nagi led him outside the club. He was making a lot of sense, for one. And another part of him just wanted to stay in the singer's company a bit longer.

 

* * *

 

  
"What the hell is he doing?!" The brunette musician of Vendetta asked his blonde bandmate, watching from across the club as Nagi led Tatsuha outside.

The blonde sighed, his look worried. "I don't know! But I don't like the way he called going to meet him settling old business!" He shouted back over the noise of the club.

"We've just got back on our feet! This is no time to mess around!"

"I know! But you know him!" The blonde looked away, defeated. "Let's just hope things don't get out of hand...!"

  
_To Be Continued..._

 


	2. Chapter 2

At that same moment, across the pacific ocean in a very different city, a Sailor Moon-shaped alarm clock started blaring. Its alarm played the theme from the shoujo anime in a high pitched, and highly annoying, tone. From the pile of dark blue and green bedcovers on the bed it sat next to a hand emerged to hit the snooze button. It then snaked back under the covers, and the covered form on the bed remained motionless until the alarm clock rang out again to announce that fifteen minutes had passed.

A protesting sound, muffled by the layers of covers, came from the form and the hand reached out to hit snooze again. Despite that it was now sometime between ten and eleven am, and the alarm obviously meant it's owner had to be up and about for some reason, the form on the bed made no attempt to awaken.

The third time the alarm sounded it was silenced by a torpedo blowing it - and the outer wall of the penthouse - to pieces. The form in the bed gave a grunt and turned over, still not moving.

"Sakuma!" A girl in her late teens with chin-length hair and glasses dressed in a business suit and carrying a torpedo launcher stood in the doorway to the bedroom.

The bed covers moved, and a pink plushy bunny wearing a red bow around the neck peeked out of the covers. "Ohayo, Reiji-chan! Ryu-chan is still sleeping! Plus, he has a headache! Shh!"

"That's why he shouldn't have drunken all that champagne last night." Reiji said pointedly.

"Hai! Hai! Kuma-chan agrees, but Ryu-chan never listens!"

"Well, if Sakuma-san doesn't wake up and get out of bed soon he'll miss his photo-shoot." Reiji aimed her torpedo launcher at the bed. "And as his manager I won't stand for it. You better tell him that bed's gonna be blown away in ten seconds, Kumagorou-san!"

"Ne?! Reiji-chan - no fair!"

"Ten!"

"Ryu-chan just bought these pillows!"

"Nine!"

"And the sheets too! They're all silky and comfy!"

"Eight...Seven!"

"You already owe him a new alarm clock!"

"Six...Five!"

"There must be a better form of motivation!"

"Four...Three!"

"Like Pocky! Or Glicko-Kaplicko!"

"Two!"

"Or cheesecake!"

"One!"

"I'm up already!" Tossing the bedsheets to the floor, serious green eyes many years older than his young manager's glowered at the torpedo launcher armed teen. Dressed in a tank and draw-string pajama pants, the man ran a hand through his brown hair.

He winced at the sunlight pouring in through the hole in his wall. "You gotta stop doing that."

"You've gotta stop drinking at the promotional parties." Reiji replied. "You know you never want to get up in the morning when you do."

Ryuichi snorted, rising from the bed and stretching. "Depends on what there is to get up for. A photo shoot isn't much of a motivation. New scripts to look over would be better. And I'm rarely late to rise when I'm filming."

"Photo shoots probably do seem dull after how many you've done over the years, but you know they're necessary."

"Sure, rub my age in..." He muttered under his breath. "Necessary and boring. And perfectly capable of waiting on me." He crossed his arms.

"Arrogant pain-in-the-ass." Reiji muttered. "That kind of attitude's gonna give you a reputation for being a prima donna." She pointed out.

"Already got that. Had it for years. What Ryuichi Sakuma wants, Ryuichi Sakuma gets."

"And the magazines ask why you're still single. Well, with that kind of attitude." Reiji muttered to the side. "Maybe what you need is a more personal form of motivation."

"I'm flattered, but not interested." Ryuichi replied, tossing the covers into some semblance of order.

Reiji glowered. "Like you're even my type! Get over yourself! I meant you should go find yourself someone!"

Ryuichi rolled his eyes. "You write my schedule, see any time for a lover?"

"If you hadn't overslept, you would have had half-an-hour for a personal moment."

"A whole half hour? Really? That's like an eon..."

"If you had someone I could write the time in." Reiji replied, ignoring the sarcasm in his voice. "Maybe they could get you out of bed for me, too."

"Provide match-making services for your clients often?" Ryuichi asked, growing amused.

"Whatever's necessary." His manager replied, and found herself holding Kumagorou. "Eh?"

"Watch Kuma-chan for me while I grab a shower." He pulled his tank top over his head, and glanced back - his eyes glinting. "It might almost be worth saying yes just for a kick, but I'm not that crazy. Let's just drop it. The last thing I need is a lover."

Reiji scowled at the bathroom door as it closed. "Prick." She looked down at Kumagorou. "I don't know, what do you think, Kuma-chan? Should I try it anyway? Has to be someone who won't interfere with his career, though. Hmm..."

 

* * *

 

 

_One week later..._

In the Nittle Grasper decorated walls of his bedroom in his family's traditional-style home, Tatsuha lay on his futon thinking about a dark-haired, intense-eyed singer. And for once it wasn't Ryuichi Sakuma.

In the week since he had first met Nagi, not a day had gone by when he couldn't help but think of the singer. No brief flirtation had ever had such a profound effect on him before. He was disappointed to find that despite having his phone number, and - for that matter - even knew where he lived, Nagi hadn't contacted him at all.

'I can't believe I'm still dwelling on this...So he hit on me, but didn't feel like going any further - it happens all the time. Heck, I've done it dozens of times myself...'

When the bell rang he sighed, burying his face into his pillow for a moment - tempted to not answer. His father was away for a ceremony, though, which meant there was no one else to answer the door. And if his father new the bellringer, he'd get it later for not answering. With a sigh he rose from his futon to go see the insistent visitor - part of him praying they'd leave before he got to the door.

He was glad it was one prayer the gods decided not to listen to, when he opened the door to find Nagi on the front step. "N-Nagi!"

"Ah! You remember me!" Nagi grinned. He was dressed in a black pressed shirt and jeans, sunglasses perched on his head.

Tatsuha was suddenly acutely aware of his own disheveled state. He'd pulled on a pair of jeans, but had only unbelted his sleeping yukata - not even bothering with a shirt. He hastily ran his fingers through the uncombed locks of his dark hair. "You're not easy to forget." He replied to Nagi's comment.

"Well, you were pretty drunk. I've been nervous about calling." The other boy admitted.

Tatsuha felt strangely elated. So the reason he hadn't called had been nervousness, not disinterest! He broke into a grin. "Don't be nervous, I don't bite - unless asked." He gave a flirtatious wink.

A slow, seductive smile swept across Nagi's features. He let his eyes slide down Tatsuha's frame, his gaze lingering on the bare skin of his chest visible through the open sleeping yukata. His eyes continued down the lower half of Tatsuha's body before retracing the path back up to the teen's flushed face. "I'll remember that." He purred.

Tatsuha felt his already flushed face heat more, and he coughed in an attempt to cover his embarrassment. "Would you like to come in?" He stepped away from the door, automatically bowing slightly.

"I thought you'd never ask." Nagi replied, entering. He quirked his eyebrows at the other boy's position. "So traditional..." He teased. "Should I have brought a gift? Rice? Sake?"

Tatsuha hastily straightened, trying to laugh off the torment as he slid the door close. "No, no - of course not. It's just the atmosphere of this place."

"I don't think it is..." Nagi said, his eyes studying the younger man. "No, I think you are quite traditional. Hm...should I switch tactics? You've seemed to like things so far."

Tatsuha blinked, then smiled in amusement. "Are you actually standing there asking my advice on how to seduce me?"

"It would make things easier." Nagi admitted with a grin.

Tatsuha chuckled. "Nagi, I do believe you are a man without shame...and I like it." His eyes sparkled mischievously. "It may disappoint you do know though, that I'm more likely to jump into bed with someone I'm not overly interested in then with someone I actually like."

"That seems a bit backwards." Nagi commented drolly, then he purposefully bridged the space between them, leaning close enough to Tatsuha for them to feel the warmth of each other's bodies. "So...if I asked to see your room, you'd say...?"

"Not today." Tatsuha replied, ignoring the feelings of desire stirring within him.

"I'm glad." Nagi whispered, tilting his head so he could say the words in the dark-haired boy's ear. "I hate being a passing fascination..." He drew back, breaking off the sensual moment. "So, how about we go with a cold drink, and spend the rest of the morning just talking - getting to know one another?"

"I'd like that." Tatsuha admitted. "Let me go throw on a shirt first, though."

"You don't have to." Nagi teased. "I definitely don't mind the view."

"You'll find the kitchen straight back to the left. You can't miss the fridge." Tatsuha pointedly ignored the comment. He turned to head down the hallway to the right - which lead to his bedroom. Suddenly Nagi's arm blocked his path. He turned, startled, and found himself frozen in place by intense dark eyes. "Nagi, I-"

He was cut off by Nagi's mouth crashing down on his, his tongue taking advantage of the silenced words to push inside. He forcefully explored the wet cavern of his mouth - tasting, claiming. He ignored the hands Tatsuha brought up to push against his shoulders, and pushed forward - trapping the young monk's body between him and the wall. His hands gripped his face, tilting his head back so he had better access to his mouth. His tongue pushing deeper inside before pulling back, and he sucked briefly at his captured mouth as if trying to drink him in.

Suddenly he released him, stepping away. Tatsuha clung to the wall for support, looking up at the singer in confusion. Nagi's eyes were unreadable, and his closed-mouth smile held no warmth. He reached out to chuck Tatsuha under the chin. "Don't ignore me, Tats, I don't like it." That said he headed up the hall toward the kitchen. "Don't be long or I'll have to come looking for you."

Tatsuha retreated to his bedroom, sinking onto his futon. The violent kiss had shaken him. The fact that he'd kissed him so forcefully because he'd ignored a simple suggestive comment seemed a bit disturbing. As had the fact that he'd ignored his attempts to break off the kiss - had in fact only pressed closer.

He had, however, found the kiss very arousing. Had thoroughly enjoyed Nagi's flirtations up to this point. "Maybe he just wanted an excuse to kiss me." He found himself excusing.

Remembering his threat of coming to find him if he took too long, he lept up - tossing the sleeping yukata on the futon. Hastily choosing a red muscled shirt from his closet to pull on, he ran a comb briefly through his hair before hurrying out of the room.

 

* * *

 

  
Nagi was sitting on the back porch with an open soda in his hand and an unopened one beside him. He was watching the koi pond, but turned when he heard him approach. "I was beginning to think you wanted me to come find you." He smirked.

Tatsuha sat down on the porch next to him, but found himself frowning. "When I want you to follow me to my bedroom I'll tell you. I certainly don't lead a chaste life, but I don't sleep with just anyone. And I don't appreciate being forced farther than I've agreed to go."

Nagi froze, then slowly set down his drink. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I've wanted to kiss you since I first saw you in the club. I guess my hormones got the best of me."

Tatsuha listened, and felt himself relax. "It's okay. I mean, I really didn't mind that you kissed me. But when you didn't stop...let's just not get ahead of ourselves."

"Alright. So why don't we start with you telling me about yourself." He offered him the unopened soda.

Tatsuha took it, tilting his head to one side questioningly. "What do you want to know?" He asked curiously.

"Everything!" Nagi replied with a grin.

Tatsuha laughed, but settled into a comfortable position. This could take awhile.

 

* * *

 

 

The tune to 'Welcome to My Romance' began to play from a black cellphone with a collection of mostly Bad Luck related cellphone charms hanging from it. The cellphone case that housed it was sheer sparkle-dusted plastic on one side and shaped like a guitar.

It was hastily snatched up by a blushing dark-haired young woman, who ignored her group of friend's knowing grins as she answered it. "Ayaka here." She waved her friends on. "Go on, I'll catch up...Oh. I'm just shopping with some friends. I was hoping you'd call..."

"Hi, Nakano-san! Aya-chan misses you!" One of her friends leaned in to call into the phone.

Ayaka gasped, covering the mouthpiece hastily. "Stop that!" She hissed at her friend, before turning back to her cellphone. "Sorry about that, Hiro... just Taya goofing off again. She says Hi..."

"I said more than that!" Her friend put in. 

"Uh-huh... ah, is Shindou-san late back from lunch again? Ah, I see... it's alright, I know how busy you are."

"She ought to, she buys every magazine he's in." Another of her friends commented.

"She tapes his tv and radio appearances, too." The third pointed out.

Ayaka shot them a glare. "Hm? I have the rest of the weekend off, actually... are you sure? It's a long drive from Tokyo..."

"Come see her! She's been whining about not seeing you enough all week!" Taya leaned into the phone again.

"I was not whining!" Ayaka snapped at Taya, then realized she hadn't covered the mouthpiece. "Ah! Sorry, Hiro - Taya was teasing me and... well I may have mentioned a couple times that it's been over two weeks since we had a chance to see each other..." She found herself playing with a lock of her hair. "I know, and I understand. I just can't help but miss seeing you..."

"Holding hands, kissing." Her second friend side commentated.

"Passionate embraces." Taya added.

"I'll see you tonight. I love you too." Ayaka turned away, blushing. "Bye..." As she hung up her friends collapsed into giggles. "You three, really!"

"You two are so sappy - it's cute in a pathetic kind-of way!" Her third friend told her, still giggling.

"You should say what's really on your mind!" Her second friend spoke up.

"Yah, like - Oh, Hiro - I miss you so much! I yearn for your kisses!" Taya pulled out her cellphone, speaking into it dramatically.

"Oh, Ayaka!" Her second friend pulled out her cellphone, deeping her voice in an attempt to sound masculine. "I burn for your touch! I need you, darling!"

"Hiro, please can't you skip practice today? I need to be swept into your arms!"

"I could never refuse you! I'll fly to Kyoto on my motorcycle right now!"

"I can barely wait! I'll see you soon."

"It could never be soon enough. I love you Ayaka."

"And I love you!"

"Are you done now?" Ayaka crossed her arms, looking sarcastically at her two friends.

Her third friend was giggling madly. "That was worth it!"

"Hmph." Ayaka turned her nose up, and started to walk away.

Taya ran after her, catching her arm. "Oh, c'mon, Aya-chan! If that had been Niko calling Hina-chan - you'd have been the one teasing."

"Maybe." Ayaka admitted grudgingly. "But that whole romance novel conversation! I mean, really! I'm not that clingy!"

"Nah, you need to be more clingy. Like Hina." Her second friend opinioned.

"Hey!" The third protested.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ayaka tilted her head, confused.

"It's just... I mean... he's in Tokyo - you're in Kyoto."

"Email, cellphones, text-messaging. No such thing in the modern world as a long distance relationship." She countered.

"But it's not the same. I mean..." Hina spoke up. "You don't see each other for weeks on end."

"Yah, don't you worry he'll meet some sexy actress at one of those premiere parties and well... y'know." Her second friend shrugged.

"Cheat on me?" Ayaka stared, then laughed. "You read too many tabloids! Believe me, the reality isn't so glamorous. He barely has time for himself, let alone us. He doesn't have time for an affair."

"But the reason he has so little time for you two is because you live so far away."

Ayaka glanced around at her friends concerned faces, and felt a twinge of worry. Was she really in the wrong? Shaking it off, she smiled brightly. "Alright, let's put this into perspective. You're suggesting that Hiro - Hiro - who on our first date - at the movies - barely got up the guts to hold my hand, is going to have a passionate affair with some fame-obsessed rising starlet?"

Her friends blinked, then glanced at each other accusingly.

"I didn't say-"

"Hina's the one who's always worried about-"

"Me?! You're the one who said she needed to be clingy!"

Ayaka giggled. "You're all worry warts! I trust Hiro, that's all there is to it. C'mon, let's hit one more shop before we go!" She headed up the walkway, ignoring the slight twinge on the back of her mind. The tiniest spark of lingering doubt...

 

* * *

 

 

"So your sister's married to the president of NG, and your brother's a famous author?" Nagi and Tatsuha had moved inside around lunchtime. They were currently in the living room. Tatsuha lying on the floor and Nagi on the couch - his legs flung over the arm.

"Yep."

"That must really suck."

Tatsuha couldn't help but laugh. Nagi's impressions were so refreshing. So different from everyone else's. Though the longer he let him stay the greater the risk that his father would come home to find him there, he didn't want to ask him to leave. He wanted to keep talking. To hear what he'd say next, or even just the sound of his voice.

"Sometimes it really can." He replied. "Especially since my brother and I look alike."

"Oh? How much?"

"Practically identical. You've really never heard of Yuki Eiri?"

"I don't really read much in the way of romance novels."

Tatsuha chuckled. "Somehow I guessed that." Sitting up he wandered over to a bookshelf, pulling some books off to reach in the back. His father would never admit they had a copy of every one of Eiri's books. Pulling out the most recent one he flipped open the back cover to the author's bio - offering it to Nagi.

Nagi took it and paused. He seemed to freeze as he looked at the picture. Tatsuha waited. He knew what he's say next - he'd been hearing it his whole life.

'Look at Tatsuha, he's like a mini version of his elder brother.'

'Wow, you look just like Eiri Yuki...'

'You really do look exactly like him.'

Tatsuha paused, realizing he wasn't saying anything. "Er, Nagi?"

"So you're also the brother-in-law to Bad Luck's lead singer, huh? Geez, being related to that many famous people really must be a pain."

Tatsuha blinked, then leaned in to see what he meant. Oh, right - in Yuki's latest bios he mentioned his live-in boyfriend. So he'd been reading the bio. "You didn't say anything about the picture."

"Hm? Oh, right. Well, he does look a lot like you. But I guess I prefer brunettes... or maybe that sparkle of mischief in your eyes." He closed the book, laying it aside; reaching up a hand to turn Tatsuha's face towards him as he turned to lean on one arm. "You just seem far more attractive to me..."

Tatsuha felt his face heat in a blush, but he didn't pull away. Nagi leaned in closer and his eyes slid close - his heart speeding up as he remembered their earlier kiss.

"Tatsuha!"

The sudden calling of his name startled him, and he leaped away - grabbing up the novel to hastily put back; not missing Nagi's amused grin.

"Tatsuha! Are you home?"

"Yes! I'm here!"

His father entered, dressed in his robes. He frowned slightly at Nagi - who hadn't bothered to stand up. "I see you have... company..." His father's disapproving tone made him wince.

"Yes, this is Nagi. Nagi - this is my father." He gave the couch a small kick.

Nagi took the hint, and stood up. "It's nice to meet you, Uesugi-san." He bowed.

The action mollified his father slightly. "You as well, Nagi-san." The old man bowed in return, before turning back to his son. "The stones have not been watered yet today."

Tatsuha resisted the urge to grimace. "The koi were fed." Seeing his father's stance not waver, he hung his head. "I'll go water them. I'm sorry, father." He bowed.

"I have to be going." Nagi spoke up.

"Oh?" Uesugi arched an eyebrow.

"Well, he's been here since-" Tatsuha began.

"Lunch." Nagi broke in. "I couldn't impose further. And I'm expected elsewhere soon anyway."

Tatsuha figured that 'elsewhere' would be a gig for Vendetta, and shot him a grateful look for his discretion. "I'll show him out."

"Hm..." Was Uesugi's reply as he headed for the kitchen.

Tatsuha led the way back into the foyer. "Sorry about that." He whispered as Nagi slipped his shoes on. "My father's just-"

"You don't want to upset or disappoint him."

"Eh?" Tatsuha froze.

"It's obvious in the way you react to him. I can tell your family means a lot to you. It's in the way you talk about them, even your brother - though you hate being compared to him."

"I used to resent him for it. For awhile I felt like everything I did was compared to him and I couldn't stand it. Silly, huh?"

"No, not at all..." Nagi replied, looking at him intently.

Tatsuha found himself unable to meet his gaze. He stepped forward to open the door. "When will I see you - " His words were cut off when Nagi stepped forward and kissed him - briefly and heatedly.

"Call me. Tell me when it's safe. When your father's not here." He whispered, and was gone.

Tatsuha found himself looking bewilderingly at the paper he held with the singer's phone number, wondering when he'd found the time to write it down for him.

 

* * *

 

 

"Where have you been?" The blonde musician of Vendetta demanded when Nagi entered the band's dressing room.

"Had some business out of town." Nagi shrugged, beginning to change out of his casuals into his stage costume.

"In Kyoto?"

"And if I said yes?"

"Dammit! We don't need this right now, Taki! We just got back on our feet!"

"I told you not to call me that!" Nagi whirled, tossing a bottle at the blonde.

He dodged, and the bottle narrowly missed the brunette who'd been standing to one side. "Watch it! Geez, what's the matter with you? And Ma-kun's right, the last thing we need is to call attention to ourselves. If you mess with a relative of Eiri Yuki's-"

"Brother. He's his younger brother." Nagi replied coolly.

"That's even worse!"

"Nothing's illegal about breaking hearts."

"Nagi!" Ma-kun couldn't find the words to express his concern and frustration.

"It's none of your business!" Nagi snapped. "You don't know everything. I owe them all. And little Tatsuha Uesugi's going to help me do it. I'm going to make that spoiled punk fall for me. And then I'm going to break his heart - right in front of his precious family."

_To Be Continued..._

 


	3. Chapter 3

_"Well, he does look alot like you. But I guess I prefer brunettes...or maybe that sparkle of mischief in your eyes. You just seem far more attractive to me..."_

  
Tatsuha flopped back onto his futon, a small smile etching his features. It was silly, but after a lifetime of being compared to his elder brother having someone reverse the comparison meant more to him than it probably should.

Nagi was different than anyone he'd ever known. He didn't care about his family connections, but at the same time seemed to understand his commitment to his family. It didn't hurt that he was handsome as sin, and had an edge to him. Something almost dangerous and thoroughly exciting.

'Man, I still can't get him out of my mind. What's wrong with me?' He turned on his side, spotting a poster of Ryuichi on his wall. It was patched with tape in several spots, as if it had once been torn, and the lyrics to Sleepless Beauty were written down one side.

"Sakuma-sama..." He hastily sat up. "It's not like he can compare to you, Sakuma-sama! It's not the same feeling...at least I don't think it is..." He hastily shook his head as if to clear it. "No way - I'm not thinking like this. I'm still in love with my Ryuichi-honey."

He nodded determinedly, grabbing up his cd player he put on the headphones and popped a Nittle Grasper cd in. He just needed some love from his favorite band. Then he could forget all about Nagi for an evening or two.

 

* * *

 

 

  
_One week later..._

  
"Ayaka here." Ayaka was on her cellphone again. "Hiro! I was hoping you'd call... yes, the reservations are in my name. Not unless we want hunted down by fans and reporters..." She sat down on the couch in her apartment, a teasing smile gracing her features.

"Are you sure you can make it in time? The interview on Medly Station is scheduled for-" She cut off, listening to what Hiro was saying. "Barring any last minute Bad Luck emergency meetings?" She laughed at whatever he replied, her smile bright. "I'll see you tonight then... I love you too..."

She hung up the phone with a content smile. He was spoiling her, she knew - visiting her two weeks in a row. He was busy and it was a long drive from Tokyo. Still, she couldn't help being happy. Her friends words about being more clingy echoed in her mind, and she found herself frowning.

Her friends just didn't understand the faith her and Hiro had in one another. The faith they had to have. It was so much trouble to go out together. Reservations had to be in her name, he had to disguise himself. They constantly had to be on the alert for reporters. It wasn't like they could just call the other while they were out and invite them to join them. There'd be too much a chance Hiro would be recognized or followed. And they couldn't let the public know they were dating. It could effect Bad Luck's career. And it would be too much hassle... wouldn't it?

She shook aside her doubts. Of course it would. They'd discussed this. They were still young; there'd be time later. After Bad Luck had reached their peak. When it was safe to take a short break. When Bad Luck's guitarist having a girlfriend wouldn't be headline news. There'd be time then... for everything.

 

* * *

 

 

  
"At least you get off in time." Reiji commented to Ryuichi as he entered the dressing room.

"Ha. Ha." Ryuichi said without humor. "I'm a pro, remember?"

"There are times I wonder."

Ryuichi pouted, and picked up Kumagoro from the vanity "And where have you been the last few days na no da?" He made the bunny talk. "Reiji-chan didn't call once! Doesn't she love us anymore?"

"I love you, Kuma-chan." The young manager plucked the bunny from the singer's hands. "I can't say the same for Sakuma."

"Waaaah! Reiji-chan's so mean!" Ryuichi began to bawl.

"Skip the dramatics!" Reiji flung Kumagoro into his face, knocking him over. "I brought good news. We're going on a little trip starting next week. Officially it's to attend the premiere of your movie in a handful of countries for publicity. But..." She trailed off when she realized Ryuichi had slunk away while she was talking. He was washing his face, seeming to ignore her. Reiji's eye started twitching " **Are you listening**?!" The room was peppered with bullets.

Ryuichi didn't even flinch, just reached up for a towel and started to dry his face. "And unofficially?" He asked calmly.

Reiji huffed, not sure what annoyed her more. When Ryuichi was childish and inattentive or when he was mature and condescending. Crossing her arms, she leaned against the wall. "How do you feel about shooting a movie in Japan?"

  
Ryuichi froze momentarily, then turned to look at his young manager. Reiji only smiled smugly in response.

 

* * *

 

 

  
The camera slid along the rig, showing the different celebrity guests in their seats. They waved and smiled at the camera as it passed, stopping at the group currently seated by the show's hosts.

One of them, a young man with wild short pink hair, popped up from the seat to stick his face in the camera for a minute - waving both hands in peace signs and grinning giddily. Blowing a kiss to the camera he sat down, laughing. His antics earned him a resigned sigh and shake of the head from the slightly younger looking boy next to him with short spiked green hair, and a playful whack on the arm from the long-haired brunette on his other side. He returned the whack on the arm, still grinning, and the nudged the boy still shaking his head. His green haired companion peeked over at him from behind the hand resting on his forehead, then nudged him back - breaking into a smile.

The camaraderie didn't go unnoticed by the studio audience, whose cheers grew louder as the camera focused on the hosts.

"Welcome back to Medly Station!" The female host greeted the camera. "We're back with what remains one of Japan's top-selling bands, and arguably one of the fastest growing music exports. Recently having returned from their highly successful concert in Taiwan - Bad Luck!"

The audience cheered as the camera backed up to show the hosts and the band's three members.

"Well, welcome belated back." The male host took over. "The concert was, not surprisingly, completely sold out. How was that experience for you all?"

"Amazing!" The pink-haired man replied enthusiastically. "It's still so incredible to realize we have fans in other parts of the world!"

His two companions nodded, the green haired youth sitting forward and bringing up his mic. "To think that we can connect to people who can't understand the lyrics. Who are drawn in by the essence of our music and the emotion of Shindou-san's vocals is simply wonderful." It was the pink-haired singer's turn to join his other bandmate in nodding agreement.

"And, as always, we're very grateful for the support of our fans - all our fans, in every part of the world." The brunette added.

"Yes!!" Shuichi shouted, excitedly giving a thumbs up to to the camera. "You are all the best!"

"The fans really are the ones giving us the ability to continue to explore new areas with our music and push ourselves to the next level." The spyke-haired boy put in.

"That's very important to us." Shuichi stated, sharing a glance with him. "Suguru, Hiro, and I are absolutely dedicated to going that extra mile to really give the fans our all." His gaze was intense when he turned to the camera. "Even now its important for us to keep pushing ourselves to reach that next level. To keep striving to be the best."

Beside him Suguru's eyes sparked at those words. Hiro glanced at his bandmates, and tilted his head to offer a mysterious half-smile to the camera.

"Well said." The female host clapped briefly as the audience cheered. "Of course, all the fans are well aware of your upcoming Autumn Tour here in Japan. Despite being weeks away some tour spots are already sold out."

"The tour dates and locations, as well as when ticket sales begin for those not yet available, are of course available at NG Studio's official website. Be sure to check those out after the show." The male host promptly put in.

""But we can't let you go without asking about the rumors that you're working on a new album." The female host took back over. "Tell us, is it true?"

"Well, we've certainly earned a reputation for speedy releases." Shuichi grinned sheepishly, glancing at his bandmates.

"Yah, I wonder how that one happened." Hiro commented.

"Ha. Ha. Ha." Shuichi placed his hand behind his head, laughing nervously.

"We don't want to give too much away." Suguru spoke up. "We're constantly working on new material."

"But is an album in the works?" The hostess wheedled.

The group exchanged a glance. "Let's just say we'll be putting in some extra hours in the studio very soon." Shuichi offered. The audience cheered excitedly.

"Any chance we'll be seeing a Bad Luck release with lyrics by Yuki Eiri, Shindou-san?"

Shuichi gave a tight laugh, and those who knew him well may have noticed a forced quality to his smile. "That question again, Morita-san? I'm starting to think this is a personal dream of yours."

The audience laughed, and the hostess flushed - looking a bit flustered.

"Well, of course, everyone is well aware of your long-lasting love affair with Yuki Eiri - the best-selling romance novelist." The male host took over. "You two were recently voted among the top ten hottest couples in Japan by the readers of J-Synch."

"Really? I should have bought a copy." Shuichi held his smile in check, even when he felt Suguru's elbow in his side. He was hard-pressed not to grimace. The keyboardist didn't need to remind him saying that was a mistake. Not only could the magazine interpret his words as an insult, but his mail would now be filled with hundreds of copies from fans wanting to give something to their idol. "Who was number one?" He asked conversationally, hoping to ease the magazine's ego by showing interest in what they printed.

"Well neither of your bandmates. They remain among the music world's top bachelors." The hostess pointed out. "Unless the rumors concerning you and upcoming actress Rita Yaku are true, Nakano-san?"

The crowd let off an appropriate sound of interest, and Hiro offered a tight smile of his own. "I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint everyone. Yaku-san and I are not an item. In fact, we only had the pleasure of meeting once before."

"Yes, but-"

"Items! Couples! Love! Is it getting warm in here, or is it me?" Shuichi broke in, fanning himself teasingly. "Welcome to my romance tonight." He winked at the crowd, who cheered and swooned.

"Ah!" The hostess clapped.

"That sounds like an intro." The host stated. "If you three would be so kind?" He gestured to the stage.

"You bet!" Shuichi lept up. Hiro and Suguru rose to their feet as well, and the group moved forward as one to the stage.

"Nice save." Hiro whispered to Shuichi.

"I thought so too." Shuichi whispered cheekily back before taking his place at the mic.

"Ladies and Gentelmen, Bad Luck performing their hit single "Welcome to My Romance"." The host introduced. The crowd cheered as the music filled the studio.

 

* * *

 

 

  
Tatsuha stood gazing into one of the many freshwater wells that were scattered through the city of Kyoto. His gaze was distant and thoughtful. He jumped slightly when a pair of arms encircled his waist, but the scent of a cologne he was fast growing familiar with teased his senses and he relaxed in the embrace.

"You look good enough to eat." Nagi's voice purred in his ear, and the moist sensation of the other man's lips covering his neck in kisses followed.

"Mmm..." Tatsuha tilted his neck to give the singer better access. "I always look good." He teased, his lips curling into a smug smile.

He'd seen Nagi quite a few times over the past week. He was rather surprised by the vocalist's willingness to come out to Kyoto just to spend time in his company. He was rather surprised by his own desire to see the other man so often, for that matter. Let alone the complete lack of anyone else in between.

Had it only been two weeks ago he'd first met him? He couldn't remember having had a previous relationship like this one. Nagi didn't mind if they did little else but sit in one of Kyoko's tourist spots and speak for hours on end. He'd probably told the vocalist more about himself and his life than anyone he could remember. But he was strangely easy to talk to - and seemed honestly interested in what he said.

He'd learned about the singer too. He'd grown up in Tokyo, and had met one of his bandmates in highschool and the other right afterwards. The band had had several names over their course of years together. Their music had gone through a big change just about two years prior. The band had had an argument and broken up. Nagi had been hit by a car the same night. He was lucky to survive, and when his bandmates visited him in the hospital they'd decided to try again. The new music wasn't really fit for the mainstream, though, and they couldn't find a backer in the industry. They'd turned to the underground scene, renaming the band Vendetta, and had struck gold.

Despite Nagi's attempts to shrug off further questioning, Tatsuha sensed a lingering anger over the car accident and the band's inability to find a mainstream backer. Still, both were understandable he supposed. Who wouldn't be pissed at some idiot who'd nearly killed him? And Vendetta was an amazing band, so not being able to be noticed by companies who put obscene amounts of money into lesser talents probably was a blow to the singer's pride. And Nagi had a lot of pride.

He'd been tempted to ask if they'd ever submitted a demo to NG but had held back. He didn't want to upset him if they had - or seem like he was suggesting he could get them an in. He had no such power when it came to Tohma - family or not. And Nagi's lack of interest in his famous relations was one of the things that was so refreshing about him. Why risk changing that?

"You're quiet tonight." Nagi murmured into his skin as he continued to tease his neck and shoulder with kisses and light suction.

"Nn...thinking." He mentioned, bringing one hand up to stroke Nagi's neck and trail through his hair.

"What about?" The singer's hand began to slide up the inside of his shirt.

"You." He admitted, knowing full well that answer would make the other happy.

Nagi chuckled. "Good. I like that you think of me."

"That's cuz you're an egomaniac." Tatsuha teased.

"I'm not the one who just claimed I always look good."

Tatsuha chuckled as he pulled out of the embrace, sticking his tongue out at his boyfriend playfully. "So, we're both egomaniacs."

Nagi snorted, and turned to lean against the well wall Tasuha had previously occupied. "So, where are we going tonight?"

Tatsuha let his playful mood go, ignoring the slight disappointment at the lack of response from Nagi. He was fast learning that Nagi didn't have a playful side. Teasing, sometimes a bit cruelly, yes, but not playful. Still, it was the singer's intensity that had first captured him. If the sacrifice for that was playfulness he supposed he'd just have to go without.

It was hard, though, because there was a side to him that was so naturally playful and enthusiastic. He wondered what the other would think of his adoration of Nittle Grasper, and felt an uncomfortable churning in his stomach. Somehow, he wasn't ready for that confrontation yet.

"I didn't have anyplace in mind. I just thought we'd see where our feet carry us." Tatsuha admitted. "The Bon festival is only a few days away, and preparations are already starting."

"Ah, that's right. I suppose your family will be gathering for it?"

"I doubt it." He replied honestly. "Mika'll stop in briefly, but Eiri never comes. Father and I will be busy anyway. If you want you can come hear me chant."

Nagi's lips curled into an amused smile. "Oh?"

"Yah, there's lots of public ceremonies. But you'll probably be with your family - right?"

"No. My family and I don't get along."

"Oh... well, it's still okay if you don't come. No one ever does." There was a hint of disappointment to Tatsuha's words.

"I'll see if I can make it." Nagi shrugged non-commitedly. "Shall we walk?" He pushed off the well.

"Sure." Tatsuha joined him as they headed down a set of stairs to the pedestrian walkway. It was a quieter, more residential section of town, and not many people were out at this time of the evening.

Nagi slid a hand around his waist, and pulled him closer - kissing his neck again briefly. Tatsuha smirked, resting his hand on the one on his waist. Since his forcefulness the second time they met Nagi ahd been proceeding cautiously but determinedly toward a more physical relationship. He definitely didn't mind, in fact he was rather surprised he hadn't slept with the vocalist yet. Two weeks without sex getting involved was probably a new record for him, even if a week had passed without contact between their first two meetings. He was starting to anxiously look forward to when the singer did proposition him again.

As if reading his mind the fingers on his waist slid under his shirt to stroke his skin. The tantalizing touch sent tiny waves of pleasure through his body, and when he squirmed slightly under the caress Nagi chuckled. The sensual sound did little to ease the tingling sensations of desire stirring in his body. If Nagi didn't make his move soon, he just might have to make it for him. The idea sounded rather tempting.

  
_To Be Continued..._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Medly Station is not a real music TV program and J-Synch is not a real magazine. Morita is not a real TV show hostess, and Rita Yaku is not a real actress. Just to clarify. ^-^
> 
> Oh! If you've read my fic End of Innocence, there was a slight inside moment when it came to the poster on Tatsuha's wall. Did you catch it? ^-~


	4. Chapter 4

The restaurant wasn't overly fancy. It was a quiet, privately owned place that served local cuisine in a traditional setting. Ayaka was already seated on a cushion by the low table when Hiro was shown to his seat.

"I'm sorry, there was an accident on the freeway." He knelt on the other side of the table, setting his motorcycle helmet aside.

"You still had to have made record time - I understand the show went over." Ayaka reached out to take his hand.

Hiro brought her hand up to brush his lips over her knuckles. "It's worth it for one extra evening with you."

Ayaka smiled happily, reluctantly taking her hand back as the waitress came up to take their order.

 

* * *

 

 

"So, do you like it here in Kyoto?" Nagi asked Tatsuha as they strolled down a more main street. He'd removed the arm from around his waist, but was still staying close to him as they walked.

"I guess so." Tatsuha shrugged. "I've spent my whole life here. It gets dull sometimes, though."

"So what do you do then?"

"Usually take off for Tokyo for a week. Barge in on one of my siblings. Mostly Eiri."

"He doesn't seem like the type who likes to be barged in on." Nagi's lips twisted into a half-smile of amusement.

Tatsuha laughed. "No, he hates it. But he only throws me out if I get too loud."

Nagi chuckled. "Which I bet you do on purpose."

Tatsuha snickered. "Maybe on occasion."

"So, which do you like better?"

"Which what?"

"Kyoto or Tokyo?"

Tatsuha paused, a bit caught off guard by the question. Which one did he like better? He wasn't sure himself. Suddenly spotting something, he grimaced - bringing up a hand to hide his face. "C'mon, this way." Grabbing Nagi's arm, he pulled him along as he sped up their pace.

Nagi glanced back at the restaurant they were passing. The table by the window was empty, allowing a they of the inside row of tables. Seated at one, Hiro and Ayaka were talking quietly. Hiro smiled brightly, reaching out to tuck a strand of Ayaka's hair behind her ear. Ayaka blushed, but reached out to grab his hand - squeezing it lightly.

Nagi's eyes narrowed as they disappeared from view when Tatsuha led them around a bend. "Who was that?"

"Ayaka and Hiroshi." Tatsuha slowed his pace, glancing back. "I don't think they saw us."

"Would it be bad if they did?"

"Not bad exactly. But Ayaka can be nosy, y'know?"

"That was Hiroshi Nakano, right?" Nagi questioned further. "She his girlfriend or something?"

"Well, It's more complicated than that." Tatsuha shrugged. "She was kind-of engaged to my brother first. That's how we know each other. Actually, I like Ayaka a lot - but she can be as bad as Mika when it comes to putting her two cents in about your life."

"Wait, your brother's ex-fiance is dating his boyfriend's bandmate?" Nagi tried to keep up with the information he'd been given. "Isn't that sort-of awkward?"

Tatsuha scratched his head. "Well, when you put it that way it does sound odd. And you'd think it would be awkward or something. But Eiri was never really into Ayaka anyway. I think I saw her more than he did. And now Hiro and her are head over heels, so I guess she's over him."

Nagi chuckled, shaking his head. "The people in your life sure know how to complicate things, don't they?"

Tatsuha laughed. "Yah, I'm the simple one of the group."

"So, no fiance of your own? Or ex-lover to complicate things between us?" Nagi asked.

"Oh, plenty of ex-lovers, but not the kind that complicate things." Tatsuha smirked. "What about you?"

"No complications of that sort." Nagi answered smoothly. Reaching out a hand he caught a hold of Tatsuha's wrist, pulling it up to him to check his watch. "I have to make a quick phone call. Think you'll be alright without me?"

"You're going to interrupt our date for a phone call?" Tatsuha arched his eyebrows at him. "Must be important."

Nagi waved his hand dismissively. "Just have to get the practice times from Ma-kun while he's awake. He'll sleep past noon and I'll never get it off him otherwise."

Tatsuha shrugged, leaning back against the side wall of the restaurant. "Well, if It's worth it to you..." He slid one hand behind his head, and hooked one in the belt loops of his pants. Tilting his head down so his bangs fell into his eyes he smirked at the other man. "Don't know, though. Could get bored waiting for you."

Nagi smirked back, leaning sideways against the wall next to him. "You suggesting someone more interesting than me might come by?"

"Probably not." Tatsuha admitted, glancing at him out of the corners of his eyes. "But if I get bored, I might settle for something less interesting. Just to pass the time, y'know?"

Nagi leaned in close to his ear, his lips almost brushing his skin as he spoke. "How about if I promise things will get a lot more...interesting once I get back - hm?"

Tatsuha shivered at the feeling of Nagi's breath flowing over his ear. He turned his head to catch his lips with his own. Nagi responded to the kiss, reaching a hand up to hold the side of his face so he could take control. Tatsuha battled for dominance until the other man stepped closer, pinning him into the wall - a small growl escaping. He let him take over then, wrapping one arm around his waist even as he tried not to laugh. The lips finally broke apart, and he did chuckle then, nuzzling into Nagi's neck briefly. "Don't be too long." He pulled away to lean against the wall again.

Nagi caught his wrist, pulling him back to a standing position. "I won't be, but you have to behave in the meanwhile." He caught his chin, his eyes sparkling darkly. "I don't share what's mine." Releasing him, he chucked him under the chin. "Behave, Tats."

Tatsuha watched him wall off toward the main street again. He was excited by the kiss, and Nagi's promise. But sometimes the dark looks the other man have him also made him uncomfortable. Though he'd had plenty of relationships, not one had been serious. No previous partners ever evoked in him the range of emotions Nagi did. The truth was, his part experience didn't really offer much help.

Was it because Nagi was so serious about him that made him uncomfortable? Was that normal? How serious was he himself about what was going on between them? More serious than he'd been about anyone prior - and that was a bit unsettling too. Perhaps more so than Nagi's dark glances.

"Sh. Keep it down." He heard someone whisper from nearby. Confused he turned to watch two figures enter the alley behind the restaurant.

"I already got a shot from the front window." The second figure whispered.

"That's not good enough. We need a better picture for the prints. A really good look at that girl, so we can ID her."

"But how can we get a better shot from the kitchen?"

"Idiot! We'll dress as servers and go out on the floor."

"What if we get caught? Won't there be a fine?"

The first voice snorted derisively. Light flooded the alley briefly as they opened the restaurant's back door. "For a picture of Bad Luck's guitarist's secret girlfriend, the papers will say enough to cover a dozen fines and still have plenty leftover."

Tatsuha scowled as the light and voices disappeared. He glanced back the way Nagi had gone, them hurried into the restaurant after the figures.

 

* * *

 

 

Nagi punched in a familiar number, glancing back to make sure Tatsuha hadn't followed him.

"Idol Scan Newssheet. If we didn't print it, it couldn't have happened. How can I direct your call?"

"I'd like to speak to Torii Ken, please. Tell him I've got an 'urgent live' on Bad Luck."

"One moment, please..."

 

* * *

 

 

"Are you still enjoying the classes?" Hiro asked, popping some food into his mouth.

"Oh, yes. Moriaki-sensei says my use of traditional symbolism with modern images is refreshing and interesting." Ayaka answered, poking at her food.

"You're still failing computer class, aren't you?" Hiro asked her, trying his best to hide his amusement.

Ayaka pouted. "It's not nice to tease your girlfriend, Nakano-san. It's not my fault I'd never touched a computer until I started college."

"You'd never had a cellphone until this part birthday, and you picked that up fast enough." Hiro reached out with his chopsticks toward her plate.

Ayaka smacked his chopsticks with her own. "It was nice of you to get me the one with the camera. It's been helpful with class projects."

Hiro retreated his hand, grinning. "So What's the hold up on the computers?"

"There's more buttons." She stuck her tongue out at him. Hiro chuckled, taking a sip of his drink. Gazing into it, he grew serious. "And.... your parents?"

Ayaka pursed her lips. "I think father is growing to accept it. But mother..." She shrugged helplessly. "I think she still sees my pursuing a career as a betrayal of my upbringing."

Hiro frowned at his own plate of food. "Which, of course, I'm to blame for. I've filled your head with corrupt modern notions."

"She didn't mean that, Hiro. She was just upset." Ayaka tried to reassure him.

"I just don't want to put you through what Shuiichi and Yuki put up with. That's the only reason I dodge the questions. It's not because I'm not serious about us."

"I-I know that." Ayaka bit her lip when she heard herself stutter. "And I've tried to explain that to her. It's just hard for most people to understand."

She wasn't most people, though. She understood...didn't she? Sure, it bothered her when the newssheets paired him up with one starlet after another. But she knew they were just trying to sell papers. After all, a lot of the times they claimed he was with those girls were times he'd spent with her. Maybe it did hurt to hear him say that he was still waiting for that special someone in his life. But he said it to protect her. It bothered him as much to say it as it did her to hear it. Right?

"Ayaka?"

"Hm?" She looked up, realizing she'd become lost in her thoughts and hadn't been saying attention.

"You believe me, don't you?"

"Of course I do!" She said a bit too hastily. Hiro's eyes studied her, and she found herself looking down at her lap.

Setting down his chopsticks, Hiro reached across the table to take her hand in his. "Ayaka, when I say I'm waiting for that special someone, what I mean is-"

"I hate to break up this romantic scene, but there's photographers in the kitchen."

Ayaka and Hiro turned, startled by the interruption. "Tatsuha?" Ayaka blinked. "What are you doing here?"

"Hopefully stopping you two from becoming front page news." He glanced back as a server walked by, but they kept walking and he relaxed. "They're dressed as servers. I overheard them outside, but I didn't get a clear look at them."

"My bike's in the parking lot." Hiro stood up. Pulling money out of his wallet, he dropped it on the table and grabbed his helmet.

"Should we just go out the front?" Ayaka hastily picked up her purse and a motorcycle helmet of her own.

"C'mon, maybe we can get out before they do." Grabbing her hand, Hiro pulled her toward the door.

"That's some tip." Tatsuha stared blankly at the yen Hiro had left behind.

"There they are! Quick!" Someone shouted.

Ayaka began to glance back, but Hiro tugged on her arm, pulling her toward the door in a run. "Don't look back - That's what they want!" He instructed her as they ran onto the street.

"Don't let them get away!"

Tatsuha turned from the table to trip the man and woman running up the aisle. They fell to the floor. "Table for two." He dumped the nearest table on the photographers before following Hiro and Ayaka's retreat out the front door.

 

* * *

 

 

"They must have followed me from Tokyo. There might be more-" Hiro but off when a man jumped in front of them, flashing a camera in their faces.

Ayaka winced in the bright light, unable to see anything but spots. She felt rather than saw Hiro push the man aside, and pull her up the street. "The bike-"

"If we stop for it, they'll surround us." Hiro explained. He glanced back, spotting Tatsuha exit the restaurant. "Uesugi! My bike!" He tossed his keys in the teen's direction, relieved when he say him catch them.

"Head for Togetsukyo Bridge!" Tatsuha shouted after them. He dodged back into the side street he'd been on when he'd heard the reporters, pulling out his phone.

The ringtone for 'Welcome to my Romance' sounded from Ayaka's phone, and she pulled it out as she followed Hiro's chaotic dodge through Kyoto's streets. "Ayaka here."

"Give Hiro the phone." Tatsuha instructed her.

"It's Tatsuha. He wants to talk to you." Ayaka handed the phone to Hiro, managing to curb her instinct to look back at the voices shouting for them to stop.

"I don't know how to get to Togetsukyo Bridge." Hiro told Tatsuha the moment the phone was in his hand.

"I guessed as much. But the photographers probably do. I said that to throw them off. I'll grab your bike, but It's Ayaka they're after. You have to get her out of there."

"I'm open to suggestions, Uesugi."

"What's going on?" A vaguely familiar voice came over the phone.

"Nagi! I've got it covered, Nakano. Nagi, go get your car."

"My car? Why?"

Something about the voice sounded familiar, and it bothered Hiro. Where had he heard that voice before? He didn't recall knowing anyone named Nagi.

"Hiro and Ayaka are in a jam. We need two vehicles and my bike's at the shrine. You still there, Nakano?"

"Not much of a choice. Who's that with you?"

"Nagi? He's... uh, someone I trust. Look, I'll bring the bike so you can lead the reporters off. We'll get Ayaka home safe and sound. Okay?"

"...alright. Thanks for covering us, Uesugi."

"Anytime."

 

* * *

 

 

"Not quite what I meant by things getting more interesting." Nagi commented as he hung up.

"I'll make it up to you next time." Tatsuha promised, leaning up to brush his lips with his own.

Nagi caught his arm before he could turn away, though. "What was that about me being someone you trust?"

"Well, I didn't know how else-" Tatsuha cut off when Nagi layed a finger over his lips to silence him.

"I like that. I want to be someone you trust." His eyes were dark again, but Tatsuha found he didn't mind. He'd both heard and delivered alot of lines in his relatively short life. Not once had trust ever been the subject. Once again Nagi's words surprised him. He was starting to like it, too. Letting go of his arm, Nagi chucked him under the chin again. "Better get going, Tats. Your friends are counting on you."

"Right." Tatsuha found himself smiling as he turned to dodge back onto the main street.

Nagi chuckled as he turned to head the opposite direction. "I want you to trust me... so I can use that trust to destroy your family..."

 

* * *

 

 

Ayaka couldn't remember a time she'd run so hard for so long. Her breath hitched in her throat, and there was a stitch in her side. "Don't they give up?" She asked Hiro.

The guitarist grimaced. "Only if we do. This way." He dodged down a side street.

"I don't know if I can run much more." She confessed.

"Me either." He offered a reassuring smile. Spotting an open store, he tugged her in that direction. Running inside, he ignored the 'Employees Only' sign and entered the backroom. "Hold the door." He instructed her. She leaned against it as he brought boxes over to blockade it.

"This is crazy." Ayaka opinioned as someone started pounding on the door. The tune to 'Welcome to My Romance' began to play once more and she grabbed up her phone.

"I thought I heard that earlier." Hiro blinked. "You use that for your ringtone?"

Ayaka blushed as she noted the number before answering the phone. "Tatsuha, where are you?... In that art supply store. No, the one by the kimono maker's... alright." She hung up, abandoning the door. "C'mon, He's meeting up out back."

Hiro stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry about all this."

Ayaka leaned up to brush her lips across his cheek. "I just want to be with you - whatever it brings."

Hiro smiled, leaning down to lips her. The flash of the camera lit the room before the sound of the backdoor slamming into the wall. Cursing his lack of foresight, Hiro yanked away - just as the reporters were sent flying by a motorcycle.

"C'mon!" Tatsuha lept off the bike.

Ignoring the dazed reporters, Hiro pulled Ayaka over to him. "Go with Tatsuha. I'll handle the reporters."

"But-"

"C'mon." Tatsuha pulled her through a broken wall to a quiet street beyond where a car was waiting. Hiro couldn't see the driver from his angle. He pressed his lips into a thin like, wondering again where he'd heard the voice of whoever Tatsuha's friend was.

Jumping on the motorcycle he drove around to the front. The gathered reporters and fans spotted him. He let them come close as he pulled on his helmet, then he roared away. Some gave chase, but he saw with grim satisfaction that most collapsed - giving up for the evening. Not that they didn't have plenty of pictures. He supposed he'd better call K tonight.

 

* * *

 

 

Ayaka felt exhausted as she sat in the back of the car. She clung to her motorcycle helmet nervously.

"You okay?" Tatsuha turned to look back at her.

"I'll be fine." She offered him a weary smile.

"Reporters are like piranhas. They swarm their victims." The driver commented. Ayaka hadn't caught his name.

"I thought I was prepared for this if it happened, But..." She trailed off. It was all such a blur. The camera that had flashed right in her face. The way they'd had to run through the streets trying to escape them. The way there always seemed to be more people following them instead of less.

"Pretty scary stuff."

"I don't think you're helping, Nagi." Tatsuha smacked the other man's arm.

"I should thank you - Nagi, was it? Thank you, Nagi-san. It was nice of you to help us out when you don't even know us."

"I did it because Tatsuha asked me to. But don't tell him, he'll get a swelled head." He shot a grin over to the youngest Uesugi.

It was hard to tell in the darkness of the car, but Ayaka thought she say a blush stain the teen's cheeks. The bright smile he shot the other man was hard to miss, though. Her eyes widened slightly. When and where had this started? She didn't recall ever seeing the man before.

"Turn here." Tatsuha instructed, glancing back at Ayaka. "Building 19-E, right?"

"That's right." She nodded as the car came to a stop.

"Well, this is your stop." Nagi told her.

"I'll walk her up. I can get back myself if you want to go. It's a long drive to Tokyo." Tatsuha told him as Ayaka and him climbed out of the car.

"What kind of a date would I be if I didn't take you home? Besides, I'd miss out on my goodnight kiss." Nagi winked at him.

"We can't have that, can we?" Tatsuha grinned. "Just wait here." He closed the door, falling into step besides Ayaka.

"You don't have to walk me up." Ayaka assured him.

Tatsuha shrugged, folding his arms behind his head in a casual gesture. "Promised your boyfriend I'd see you home, right?"

"So... where did this Nagi come from?" Ayaka couldn't help but ask. She'd never gotten out of the habit of acting like an older sister to the younger man, even though she would never be part of his family.

"Tokyo." Tatsuha replied just as casually.

"Tatsuha-kun." Ayaka frowned at him. "Who is he? What does he do? When did you meet him?"

"What's with the third degree? You've seen me with dates before and didn't do this."

"I've never seen you smile at any of them like you did at Nagi-san."

"..." Tatsuha didn't reply as they entered the elevator to go to her floor.

"You're serious about him." It was more a statement than a question.

"I think... maybe?" The young monk offered a tad sheepishly. "It's all so new."

"How new?"

"Two weeks... I met him at an underground club. He's the lead singer of a came called Vendetta." He suddenly found himself spurting out. It felt good to talk about the new relationship with somebody. He'd debated about calling Eiri, but wasn't certain how his brother would react to finding out he was contemplating becoming seriously involved with someone. If he would actually care at all, or even believe him.

"What an odd name for a band." Ayaka frowned as they got off on her floor level.

"Their music is... strong. It's about darker emotions a lot. Anger. Jealousy. Nagi can be so intense. Sometimes It's unnerving. But most of the time it's exciting. I really like being with him."

"I'm so excited for you." Ayaka hugged his arm briefly. "What does your family think?"

Tatsuha grimaced. "I haven't really told them about him yet. And, please, don't tell Mika!"

Ayaka's eyebrows furrowed. "Why not?"

"I don't want what might be the most important relationship of my life ruined, That's why not."

Ayaka giggled. "Tatsuha!"

"C'mon, if she doesn't scare him away, she'll send Seguchi to interrogate him. You know It's true."

"Alright. I won't tell her. But he's going to have to meet them sooner or later if you're serious about him." Ayaka wagged her finger at him.

"I know. But give me time to figure out where this is going first."

"If you need someone to talk to, just call." She offered.

"I'll remember." Tatsuha promised as they came to her door. "You going to be alright? I don't know how clear a picture they got of you with Nakano."

Ayaka bit her lip. "Well, We'll find out."

"Ayaka... fans can be vicious when they find out their idol is involved with someone."

"As a fan, I guess you'd know." The older girl teased.

Tatsuha grinned, unabashed. "Well, yah. I used to throw darts at pictures of the dates the news sheets caught Sakuma-san with."

"Used to?" Ayaka eyed him dubiously.

"He hasn't been seen with anyone in awhile." He replied cheekily, then grew serious. "That's mild by comparison to other fans, though. So be really careful until this blows over."

"I'll just take it one day at a time... I want to be with Hiro. And I'll just have to be strong enough for whatever that brings."

"Alright, Princess." Tatsuha reached out to tweak her more. Ayaka swatted at his hand. "Goodnight."

"Don't forget to give Nagi his good night kiss." Ayaka teased, and grinned when she saw the younger man's cheeks color.

"I regret telling you already." Tatsuha shot her a mock glare that Ayaka only giggled over.

"Goodnight, Tatsuha." She entered her apartment. Setting her purse and motorcycle helmet down she locked the door. her window drapes were open, and she wandered over to gaze at the Kyoto cityscape. Hiro and her would be on all the papers and news sheets the next morning. A part of her was scared of that. But a part of her was relieved. Selfish as it was, a part of her wanted others to know the guitarist was with her. But there was a difference between 'others' and the whole country. And that difference frightened her. More than she wanted to admit.

  
_To Be Continued..._

 


	5. Chapter 5

Eiri Yuki did not cling. There were times he put his arm around Shuichi's shoulder in public, but that wasn't clinging. He called it "a proprietorial gesture". It was to let anyone eyeing the popstar know he was taken. There were times when they were alone in their apartment that he would wrap his arms around his lover's waist. It was called an embrace, he'd told him once when he'd commented. Eiri Yuki did not cling. Period.

There were times, though, that Shuichi was tempted to call what Eiri did clinging. Particularly when the novelist was asleep. He always seemed to hold him when he slept, and it wasn't always easy to get out of that hold come morning. It didn't help that his lover slept like a log. Most days the alarm clock didn't even stir the sleeping blonde, and the moment he moved away he would scoot closer. When he managed to slip out of the hold of one arm, he'd only wrap the other around him. During those times, Shuichi was definitely tempted to call what Yuki did "clinging."

It wasn't the buzzing of the alarm clock that woke Shuichi up that morning, however. It was the opening sequence of Rage Beat repeating over and over again. The ringtone had played three times before he managed to escape his lover's embrace and find his cellphone amongst the discarded clothes on the floor. "Suguru, where's the fire? I have a voice mailbox."

"You better turn on the tv." Suguru ignored the vocalist complaints.

Yanking on a t-shirt, Shuichi yawned into the phone as he made his way toward the living room. "What am I looking for?" He asked the keyboardist, turning on the tv, and flipping channels.

"You'll see."

He froze when a slightly blurry snapshot of Hiro and Ayaka appeared on the screen. "The big entertainment news today surrounds Bad Luck's heartthrob guitarist Hiroshi Nakano - seen here with an unknown young woman believed to be his girlfriend. Rumors about him having someone in his life have circulated for years, but Nakano has always denied it. In fact, for a time there was speculations about him and fellow bandmate Suguru Fujisaki."

"Tell me she didn't just say that." Suguru groaned.

"Shhh." Shuichi hushed him, continuing to watch the news report.

"Some fans expressed excitement over being able to see another member of the hit band in a romantic entanglement. Others expressed sorrow and even anger at the news."

A teenage girl wearing a Bad Luck concert t-shirt appeared on the screen. "Who does that tramp think she is, dating him? She's clearly only after him for his fame. It's an insult to his fans that she was even seen with him."

The newsreporter reappeared on the screen then. "One young fan reportedly committee suicide when she heard the news. In her goodbye letter she expressed her love for the popstar, and stated that her life no longer had meaning now that he had chosen someone else."

"What a load of crap." Shuichi shut off the tv.

"It's bound to get worse." Suguru warned. "K wants us to stick to "No comments" until he and Sakano think up an angle."

"Alright. Have you talked to Hiro? This must be hard on him, he's been trying to protect Ayaka from this."

"No, I've only spoken to K. Hiro called him to warn him. Apparently they were chased during their date last night."

"Not good. I better call right away."

"Don't be late to work. We've gotta get a plan together."

"I'll be there." Shuichi hung up, and clicked a button to dial out. After several rings a message clicked on.

"Nakano here. Leave a message and number so I can return your call, please."

"Hiro, Suguru called me. I saw the news. Call me back, kay?" Hanging up, he sighed, glancing at the tv. Walking up, he turned it on again. A woman was sobbing on the screen.

"All she ever talked about was wanting to meet Bad Luck. I never imagined she would do something like this."

The tv was suddenly turned off. Shuichi turned to see Yuki standing by the couch holding the remote. His hair was still a mess from sleeping, and he hadn't buttoned the pants he'd pulled on. "Don't watch garbage like that in the morning." He tossed the remote down.

"Did stuff like that happen with us?"

Yuki shrugged. "Can't say. We were too busy to watch the news."

"I just hope Hiro and Ayaka won't..."

Yuki watched him for a minute, then sat down on the couch, picking a pack of cigarettes up off the end table. "You'll see Hiro at work. I'll call Tatsuha later. He can keep an eye on Ayaka. She's one of that brat's closest friends anyway."

Shuichi jumped onto Yuki's lap, hugging him. "Yay! Thank-you Yuki!"

"For what?" The novelist shifted their position slightly so he could take a drag from his cigarette.

"For being so nice."

"I'm not nice." Stabbing out the mostly unused cigarette, he shoved the vocalist off his lap. "I'm going back to bed."

"What woke you up? The tv? You usually ignore it so-"

"No, I woke up before that."

"Why?" Shuichi blinked blankly.

For a moment it didn't seem like Yuki would reply, as he kept walking. He paused by the room's entrance, though. "You weren't there." He answered, not turning back, just waiting.

Shuichi's eyes softened, and he walked over to wrap an arm around his lover's waist. "I'm not due at work for another two hours, I can come back to bed with you."

Yuki turned to look at Shuichi, a smirk sliding across his lips. "If you do, we aren't sleeping."

Despite the blush highlighting his cheeks, Shuichi smiled. "Somehow, I guessed that." He replied before Yuki's mouth crashed down on his, silencing any more words.

 

* * *

 

 

Public ceremonies were one of Tatsuha's least favorite parts about his work as a monk. It wasn't the crowd of onlookers that bothered him. Some wedding blessings were almost as crowded. Nor were the chants or rituals particular hard, especially after all his years of practice. It was what happened after the ceremonies themselves that bothered him. Watching as one after another of the other monks met up with their families or significant others, or head off with other members of their temples. While he was left to walk around whatever festival was ongoing alone. Or, if his father was feeling poorly, head back to the temple to keep an eye on things. His father never came to his ceremonies, Yuki avoided anything connected to the temple like the plague, and even Mika had stopped coming years ago. He could make arrangements to meet with friends, or even one of the people he dated. Still, it wasn't the same as having someone there, waiting for you.

He couldn't recall any of his girlfriends or boyfriends showing the slightest interest in his work as a monk. They seemed to avoid talking about it. Nagi was the first one not to shy from the topic. So his invitation to watch one of his ceremonies had been rather spontaneous, and he hadn't given it much thought since the night of their last date.

So when he'd seen the singer in the crowd, he'd found himself nearly freezing up. The note of the chant he was on quivered slightly, earning him a few glances from the others performing the ritual with him. In the crowd, Nagi was smothering a laugh, having realized his mistake - though those around him seemed oblivious. They frowned and shushed him in irritation.

The ritual concluded only a couple minutes later, and as he exited the stage, he saw the other man waiting at the edge of the crowd for him. He accepted the praise and thanks of those who'd arranged the ceremony - pocketing the temple donation money with a gracious smile. Inwardly he was groaning over the delay, though he concluded it was for the best as he had an overwhelming desire to kiss his boyfriend senseless. He had a feeling neither his fellow monks or the slowly fading crowd would appreciate the show.

"You went off key." Nagi greeted him with a smug smile.

Tatsuha felt his face heat, and he punched the vocalist's arm to cover his embarrassment. "You were the only one in the crowd who noticed."

"What distracted you?"

The sly smile curving his lips said he knew what had caused the mistake, still Tatsuha found his own mouth curving into a smile and he gave into his boyfriend's narcissistic streak. "You. What else?"

"Was I so distracting?"

"I just didn't expect you."

"None of your other dates ever came?"

He shook his head. "They weren't interested."

Nagi studied him for a minute, reading his subdued tone and body language. "Well, they missed a treat." He winked.

Tatsuha blinked confused. "Oh?"

"You're quite a sight dressed like that. You look like you're from an Akira Kurosawa movie."

Tatsuha crossed his arms behind his head, trying to hide his grin. "That was a lame line."

"But you liked it."

"Maybe."

Nagi chuckled, but didn't push the point. "So, any more ceremonies? Have to return right away? Or do I get you to myself awhile?"

"I'm all yours." Tatsuha winked. "I have a change of clothes-" He cut off in a gasp when Nagi suddenly pulled him between two tents that were set up to sell wares for the festival, and into the secluded area behind them. His mouth claimed his briefly, as his arms surrounded him, pressing their bodies together tightly.

"Say that again." Nagi whispered low in his ear.

Tatsuha shivered in response to the sudden actions. "Say what?"

"You're all... mine." Nagi bit down on his earlobe.

Tatsuha bit his lip to keep from crying out, his eyes sliding shut in pleasure. He licked his lips, trying to keep his hormones under control. "Wait, someone could see us. I should change clothes before we-"

"So say it."

Tatsuha shifted in his hold. His mouth formed the words, but they were stuck in his throat. His eyes clouded with uncertainty, and he tried to pull out of the embrace.

Nagi's arms tightened, and he chuckled. "It's only three little words."

"Nagi, stop it." He yanked free, stumbling slightly. The vocalist was frowning, and he scowled back. "I'm not joking. I have to think of the temple."

Nagi held up his hands in apparent surrender. "Okay. Sorry. I was just fooling around."

Tatsuha relaxed slightly at his words, though he wasn't certain he believed the singer. "Can you grab some mochi? I'll join you in a minute." He paused, then leaned forward to brush his lips against his. "Then I'm all yours."

Even though it was supposed to be a joke, the words left a bad taste in his mouth.

 

* * *

 

 

"Sales of Bad Luck's latest single has dropped by three percent since the current scandal earlier this week involving their guitarist Hiroshi Nakano and a currently unidentified woman. Speculation on her identity range from a member of Nakano's family, to a secret girlfriend. NG Studios has yet to release a statement on the incident. Bad Luck's members, specifically, have refused to speak to the press about the pictures.

The newsreporter on the tv was replaced by footage of Hiro entering NG. Cameras flashed and questions and pleads for comments were shouted after him, but he did not answer or acknowledge them. Then the reporter returned to the screen.

"A young fan committed suicide when the pictures were first printed. There are rumors the family might sue NG Studios for the loss. They have been unable to be reached for confirmation of the facts."

The tv was promptly shot full of bullet holes.

"Money-grubbing morons." K Snarled. "They don't have a chance at winning a case like that. Tohma's lawyers will eat them alive."

"Maybe, but it will cause a lot of bad publicity." Suguru mentioned. Neither he or Shuichi had moved from the couch they were sitting on where they'd been watching the tv their manager had riddled with bullets. "Maybe someone's paying them to make a fuss."

"One of the company's competitors could have promised them enough money to make the lawsuit worthwhile." Sakano mentioned. He sighed drearily into his teacup. "A three percent fall in the first week alone." He shook his head.

"The week's not over yet." K pointed out. "Saturday's the show on Rock Jam. Hiro will have to make a statement then."

"After that this should blow over, shouldn't it?" Shuichi asked. "At least for the band. Hiro and Ayaka will have to put up with the press until something bigger comes up."

"Depends on the statement released. Deniability is still a possibility at this point." Sakano told him.

"Deniability?" Shuichi blinked.

"You want him to deny the pictures are real?" Suguru stared.

"Might be the best course of action." K sighted up his gun barrel thoughtfully.

"Are you out of your mind??" A voice from the door surprised them all. Hiro stood in the doorway, with his cellphone to his ear. "No, not you." He spoke into the cellphone quickly.

"If it's going to affect the sales of your records severely, denying the pictures may be the best plan." K replied without blinking. "Keeps the band's sales, and your girlfriend safe. Most of the pictures were low quality anyway. Blurry, taken at night through reflective glass or in low light. Easy to fake."

"But they are real. That's Ayaka and I. It's one thing to say I'm not dating Rita Yaku. I'm not. But to say a picture of Ayaka and I is fake and we aren't seeing each other..." He paused as someone spoke on the phone. "No, of course not. I'd never... I didn't say...Ayaka? Ayaka?"

Suguru and Shuichi exchanged a wince.

Hiro stared at the phone for a minute before slowly closing it up. "We got disconnected." He sounded as desperate to believe the words as to convince the others in the room of the idea.

"That happens sometimes in NG." Shuichi replied with a forced smile. He shot Suguru a glare when the keyboardist didn't back the words up.

"Um... yah." Suguru offered then. "All those power lines and sound equipment interfere with the airwaves and that sort of thing."

"I'm going to go try to call her back." Hiro turned to head back out the door. He froze when the sound of K's gun cocking filled the empty silence.

"And say what? What do you plan to say on Rock Jam? Tell the world about your sweetheart? Though about what will follow that? Being stalked by the press. Being sent hate mail by your fans. Threats. You going to hire a bodyguard for her? Any idea where a good place to hire one even is?"

"No. But I'm sure you do." Hiro replied without turning.

"How do you think she'll feel about that? Having to be guarded? Some stranger follow her to her college to make sure nobody tries anything?"

Hiro's hands fisted at his side. "I don't know, okay? I don't know how I feel about it!"

"Maybe you better think about it before you call her." Lowering the gun, K headed for the door. "Fifteen minute break, then practice starts." Walking by Hiro, he exited the room.

Hiro didn't move. He stood perfectly still, but his mind was racing.

 

* * *

 

  
Tatsuha wasn't sure he could remember the last time he'd enjoyed himself so much. Though sometimes on his dates with Nagi he felt like an official tour guide to Kyoto, somehow he didn't mind. He enjoyed showing off the city to the vocalist.

He popped another piece of mochi in his mouth as they strode through another street full of vendors. "It's always like this this time of year. Until the festival itself. Then it gets quiet again." He mentioned.

"Is this your favorite time of the year here?" Nagi asked him.

Tatsuha shook his head. "Actually, my least favorite. Too many tourists. And there's so many ceremonies I can barely get a free moment."

"So what is your favorite time of year?"

"Winter." Tatsuha replied instantly.

"Isn't it a deadzone up here then?"

"But that's the best part. Less ceremonies, less tourists. Kyoto's really beautiful in the winter. It's like stepping back in time. Plus, my birthday's in the winter, so what's not to like about that?" He grinned cheekily.

Nagi snorted in amusement. "Figures. You're an attention whore. You know that?"

"I'm told it's a common trait of youngest children. At least that's what the school counselor always told my father." Tatsuha grinned. "Only children too. Which might explain you."

"Funny." Nagi returned, watching as Tatsuha popped another mochi into his mouth. "How many of those are you planning on eating?"

"As many as I can con you into buying for me." Tatsuha replied without shame.

Nagi chuckled. "So I should add sweets to your list of weaknesses?"

"Rice." Tatsuha corrected.

"Rice?"

"I could exist on rice. My family used to have to force me to eat the meat and vegetables during our meals."

"You really are traditional, aren't you?"

Tatsuha shrugged, looking away. "I guess some people would think so. But I love modern things too."

"Like?"

"Cellphones. Motorcycles. Modern music." He glanced over at Nagi slyly. "Lead singers of rock bands."

Nagi frowned. "Did I hear a plural on that?"

"May-be." Tatsuha tormented.

Nagi slid an arm around his waist, pulling him closer. "I don't like the sound of that. Do I have competition?"

"Do I hear a hint of jealousy?"

"I do seem to recall telling you I don't share what's mine. Or have you forgotten?" The arm around his waist tightened.

"Been a busy couple of days. I might have." Tatsuha wondered why he was pushing the singer. Nagi had already displayed a slight possessive streak. Sometimes the way he acted made him uncomfortable. But Nagi also excited him in ways he didn't remember any previous partner doing. He wanted more than the touch and go games of their previous dates. But would it be worth the risk of provoking the dark side of Nagi's nature he'd caught glimpses of?

"Not a smart thing to say, Tats." Nagi whispered, the hand on his waist sliding down his hip.

Tatsuha's eyes slid half closed as his body began to respond to the touch. "Depends on your point of view." He whispered back in a low tone.

Nagi released his hold on his waist suddenly, and took ahold of his hand - pulling him with him as he slipped down a side alley. It was a dead end, but before Tatsuha could point that out, Nagi was pressing him into the wall. His mouth pressing onto his, his tongue pressing against his lips - demanding entrance.

It was always like that with Nagi. Demands, never requests. Never coaxing. He liked things his way. Though Tatsuha certainly couldn't say he'd been dominate in all his previous relationships, or even that he minded giving into another's needs or desires, he was beginning to wonder if he was fully happy with that side of his new boyfriend.

Nagi rubbed his body against his, and Tatsuha couldn't stop the groan that escaped his lips. Nagi plunged his tongue into his mouth triumphantly - his hands exploring the willing body he had pinned to the wall. Tatsuha moved his hands up Nagi's back, enjoying the feeling of the strong muscles under his fingers. Nagi broke the kiss, turning his attention to the side of his neck below his ear. Tatsuha shivered, gripping his shoulders. "Sensitive spot, is this?" Nagi murmured into his skin. "Tell me, Tats... you enjoying this?"

Tatsuha opened his mouth to reply, only to feel Nagi's hand ghost across his crotch. "Ah!" He gave a small cry, his hips bucking forward. "Nagi... this..."

Nagi silenced his words with another fierce kiss, digging his hips into his. Tatsuha relaxed into the body driving against his, drowning in the pleasure. Suddenly Nagi drew back - leaving him stumbling to catch his balance. "Sweet... you are pure sugar..."

Blinking, Tatsuha looked up at the other man in confusion. "What game are you playing? You're stopping??" He straightened - feeling a wave of anger sweep through him. He'd been teasing him?

"For now." Nagi replied.

"You-you can't just - " Tatsuha spluttered, both denied desire and hurt pride leaving him at a loss for words.

Nagi reached out to chuck him under the chin. "My terms, Tats. Just because you're willing doesn't mean I'm giving. That's on my terms."

"Everything seems to be on your terms." Tatsuha snapped. "When do I get a say, huh?"

Nagi arched an eyebrow. "Everything, huh? That's why we're here at a festival in Kyoko instead of a Tokyo Club?" He glanced down and gave a kick to the dropped container of mochi. "And that? Or me coming to your ceremony? You said no one else has ever done that. So whose terms are we on, eh?"

Tatsuha froze, doubt assailing him. Nagi had been taking the effort to come to Kyoko. Had come to his ceremony - something his family didn't even do. "I..." He began but trailed off, his anger fading. His head snapped up when Nagi chuckled, eyes narrowing. "Something funny?"

"You're really cute when you're angry."

"I'm... cute?" Tatsuha stared, then scowled. "Uesugi's are never "cute" when angry. We're scary."

Nagi smirked. "I guess the baby of the family hasn't go that part down yet."

"First you tease me, now you insult me? Way to ruin the mood, "Lover"." He turned to go, but Nagi grabbed his arm.

"Where are you off to?"

"Anywhere you aren't." Tatsuha replied. "Maybe I'll find someone who's up for some fun - since you don't seem to be." The grip on his arm became almost painful.

"I don't like that idea, Tatsuha."

"That's the point."

"What? To sleep with some cheap floozy who sees you as a pretty face? Or maybe as your brother's pretty face?"

"You bastard." Tatsuha yanked out of his hold, the words stinging more than he wanted to admit.

"Truth hurts, huh? None of them are going to make you feel what I can. No one's going to see you for you the way I do. Because no one else has, have they?"

Those words cut deeper than the remark about looking like his brother. "Screw you!"

"Wasn't it the fact that I wouldn't screw you what started this argument?" Nagi smirked. He didn't stop Tatsuha when he whirled away - storming back out onto the streets. "You can run, but you can't hide. You said it yourself earlier, Tatsuha. You're all mine."

 

* * *

 

 

"We'll see you again! Thanks for having us!" Bouncing Kumagorou on his head, Ryuichi blew kisses at the crowd before boarding the waiting plane. It was a jet actually - a private jet.

Reiji was already buckled into her seat on the phone. "Page six. I said page six. Why were we on the front page? We're an hour behind schedule! ...Cute. Well, next time you get a brilliant idea - leave us out of it!' She hung up the phone with a huff.

"Aw... Reiji-chan. Don't get upset. The jet will make up for it."

"It's also an added expenditure. We were supposed to be on the morning flight, but so much for incognito..."

Ryuichi bounced on the chair next to her. "But a jet's so much cooler! And we don't have to wear a hat! Not that I dislike hats, but it does get tiring wearing one all the time. And -"

Reiji clamped a hand over his mouth. "Enough. Save the cute act for someone who falls for it." She had a laptop out and was typing one-handed. Ryuichi muttered something around her hand. "No - I don't have games on it."

The rock star plopped back into the seat. "Boring!" He started to play with Kumagorou.

"Anyone you want to invite to the Japanese premiere? It's only two weeks away."

"Tohma-chan and Noriko-chan.."

"Already sent them to Ukai-san's address and several set to NG."

"Bad Luck..."

"I included extra tickets for them. In case Shuichi can convince the bastard author. And the latest headline is about the guitarist's girlfriend."

"Poor kid's going to go through hell for the first few months."

The serious comment made Reiji glance over - but Ryuichi wasn't looking at her and she couldn't see his face. "She'll cope, or they'll break up. That's the way it works."

"Huh..."

"Anyone else? Outside of NG maybe?"

Ryuichi glance at her, and his eyes were serious, but suspicious. "Why?"

"Just curious. Everyone you know seems to be a part of NG."

The singer shrugged. "That's the way the business goes. Right? Get too friendly with someone outside of it, and they end up going through what Hiro's girlfriend will be. It's never pretty. Who wants to put up with that?" He glanced out the window - his expression thoughtful. "Except those who are only in it for a chance to be famous for a minute."

"I take it back - you can go back to being cute at anytime." Reiji typed away on her laptop.

"Heh. Heh." Ryuichi chuckled, glancing over at her - amused. Then he grew thoughtful again. "Maybe... can I invite Tatsuha-chan? Mika-san won't like it. But Tohma won't mind. Shuichi likes him too. And Kumagorou loves playing with him." He held up the pink bunny. "Hai! Hai! Tatsuha-chan's kawaii!"

"Who is he? Never heard of him." Reiji blinked. Ryuichi began to laugh, and she scowled at him. "What's so funny?"

Kumagorou popped up to do the speaking for him. "Reiji-chan is so funny! Of course not! Tatsuha-chan isn't famous! He's a monk from Kyoto."

This did not clear things up for the teenage manager at all. In fact, her expression became even more confused. "A monk? You want to invite a monk to your movie premiere?"

"Tatsuha-chan is a big fan of Nittle Grasper." Kumagorou continued. "And Tohma's let him come play with Ryuichi before! They spent a whole day at the zoo together once."

"Wait. A monk from Kyoto is a fan of Nittle Grasper and knows Seguchi? But Seguchi's wife doesn't like him?" Reiji couldn't figure out how this all fit together. Her words made Ryuichi collapse into laughter. Angry signs began to pop up around her. "What's so funny?? You aren't explaining this very well!"

Wiping tears from his eyes, Ryuichi sat up. "Mika likes him. In fact she loves him - he's her kid brother. Mika doesn't like it when Tohma lets us spend time together."

Silence reigned. Reiji didn't move. Ryuichi stared at her. She didn't blink. He waved his hand in front of her face.

"Oy! Reiji-chan!"

Reiji's head exploded. Then she sat back down. "Seguchi's kid brother in law is a monk from Kyoto, who's a fan of Nittle Grasper. This doesn't make any sense. And why would you want some snot nosed kid - a fanboy- at your premiere?"

An mp3 player was promptly shoved in her face. On the screen was a picture of Tatsuha winking at the camera, dressed in jeans, a tank, and his leather jacket.

Reiji snatched it. "Whoa! Who's the hottie? And where have you been hiding him?"

Snatching things from Ryuichi usually resulted in a lot of whining and crying and a temper tantrum worthy of a five year old. So Reiji was shocked when the mp3 player was snatched back possessively by the singer.

"That's Tastuha... and my mp3 player." The latter was almost an after thought.

An idea began to take root in the young manager's mind. "That's the monk? Heh. Seems like a waste of good looks. Kind of looks like Shindou's novelist."

"He looks like Tatsuha." Ryuichi stated firmly. "Yuki is his brother." He suddenly became conversational. "But Tatsuha's way more fun. He'll wear costumes and rides a motorcycle. Kuma wants to listen to music. I'm getting a snack." Placing the mp3 player's headset on the bunny's head, he set the device on his seat and headed to a forward compartment.

Reiji snatched up the mp3 player, and scrolled to pictures - setting the order to most viewed. The first picture was of Nittle Grasper. The second of him and Shuichi singing on stage. The third was Nittle Grasper again, and Reiji shrugged - hitting next. She froze when she saw it was of Tatsuha and Ryuichi. It looked like it had been taken at a purikura booth. They were both grinning and offering peace signs to the camera. The next picture was apparently from the same set, and Ryuichi was standing on the seat behind Tatsuha and had plopped Kumagorou on the youth's head. They were both laughing.

The next three were of Bad Luck. But then the picture of Tatsuha he'd shown her was there. Followed by another of him with his leather jacket over one shoulder. It looked like a professional shoot.

"Curiouser and curiouser." Reiji glanced back at the door Ryuichi had gone through, before continuing to browse. More Nittle Grasper, and some pictures of Kumagorou at different tourist sights around the world followed. She clicked next, and froze for a second time.

Tatsuha was straddling his motorcycle in some empty parking lot - apparently getting ready to leave. Except that Ryuichi was leaning on it - pressing his lips to the youth's cheek. The young man's face was flushed with red. It was grainy, like it had been taken by a low megapixel camera.

Hastily clicking out of the photos when she heard a noise, she tossed the mp3 player on the seat and turned back to her laptop.

"Pocky!" Ryuichi waved the box triumphantly, scooping up Kumagorou and the mp3 player as he retook his seat.

"What's Tatsuha's last name? Yuki?" Reiji asked him.

Ryuichi ripped open the pock-box, but glanced over at his manager with a slight frown. "Uesugi. Why?"

"Well, I need his full name to send him a ticket."

"Oh... never mind about that. He probably couldn't go anyway."

"I suppose he could always get one off Seguchi."

"No. Tohma would bribe him with one if he needed him to do something, but he'd never just give him one."

Reiji blinked. "Wow. Seguchi's really hard core, huh?"

:"You have no idea." Ryuichi muttered, then grabbed the headset off Kumagorou. "My turn, Kuma-chan! You take the pocky box." Placing the headset on, he turned to look out the window.

Reiji turned back to her laptop - opening a web browser and going to a link that was a phonebook from Japan. Clicking on the search, she typed in 'Tatsuha Uesugi.'

 

* * *

 

 

Anger had kept him going at first. Tears threatened next, but he blinked them back. He was feeling numb and confused when he found his way to a bar. It was packed with people, which was good. Easier to lose yourself in a crowd. He headed toward a corner seat, when he heard his name.

"Tatsuha!"

He turned, and found himself staring as Ayaka came running up to him. She was giggling, and her cheeks were flushed pink. "Ayaka?"

"Yay! It is you, Tatsuha-chan!" She latched onto his arm. Her breath smelled of sake. "Come sit with me... oh, you're not old enough to drink yet, are you? Eh, but you look it!" She dragged him back to the bar where - somehow - there were empty seats for them. "Bartender! Another for me, and one for my friend!"

There were several glasses already on the counter. Tatsuha wasn't sure if they were hers or just hadn't been taken away. "Ayaka, how many have you had?"

Ayaka giggled. "I don't know! I lost track after three. Isn't that funny? I can count way higher."

Ayaka, at a bar, drunk and still drinking. This couldn't be good. "Are you here with anyone? Hiro?"

At the mention of the guitarist's name, Ayaka's face grew pinched. "Hiroshi? Of course not. He's in Tokyo - with all the other big shot stars. He has a career, you know. That's way more important than a girlfriend." She began to giggle again, but it was a painful sound this time. "In fact - he's going to tell everyone he doesn't have one and the pics are phony. Funny, huh?"

Tatsuha closed his eyes. "Ayaka..." He whispered, knowing how hurt she must be feeling.

"Forget it! I have! Let's drink!"

Opening his eyes, he forced a smile of his own. "Hey, look on the bright side. Your boyfriend didn't tell you the only reason anybody else but him would ever want you is because you look like your brother." He tossed down his drink.

Ayaka's eyes widened. "Nagi said...? Feed him to the sharks."

"There aren't any in Kyoto."

"How about the Onis? It's the bon festival."

Tatsuha chuckled. "He said it after I had participated in the cleansing ceremony."

"What about your voodoo kit?"

"It never worked on Tohma." Tatsuha supplied with a grin.

Ayaka laughed. "Of course not. Seguchi is an Oni. Can't do voodoo against that." She tossed down her own sake.

Tatsuha burst out laughing at that, grabbing up his glass. "Bartender - two more!" Somewhere in the back of his head, Tatsuha knew this was a bad idea. But at that moment he just didn't care.

_To Be Continued..._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An Oni is a type of evil spirit. Actually, I'm not sure if they would really be around during the Bon Festival. But as it seems similar to our All Hallow's Eve I guessed.
> 
> A purikura booth is a photo booth.
> 
> All my Gravitation fics about Tatsuha are considered part of the same verse as this one. For the story behind the photo shoot and purikura booth read my fic "Photographic Memories". To find out about that final pic of Ryuichi and Tatsuha, read my fic "Capybara".


	6. Chapter 6

_"What is it I'm waiting for, in this room without you -_  
_It's just the clock's ticking, but it resonates in my sleepless heart like the sound of footsteps._  
_Even now I'm waiting; I stop here alone._  
_From where do you now see the moon we saw together on that day?"_

Tatsuha was pretty certain neither Ayaka or himself was singing on tune. Which was funny because he knew they were capable of singing on tune. At least, he was pretty certain they could sing on tune. All the sake was making his memory fuzzy.

They stumbled into Ayaka's apartment, not remembering or bothering to lock the door behind them.

_"My behavior made a mimicry of laughter, even when I remember your voice._  
_The scene of the night when we walked around together is now an orange-colored photograph."_

Ayaka collapsed onto the bed, and Tatsuha tugged at her arm. "At least give me covers!" He complained.

She blinked up at him. "What happened to your shirt again?"

"You threw up on it!"

"Oh, that's right." She giggled, then got up with a groan to grab a blanket from the closet. When she made it back to the bed Tatsuha was curled up on it under her covers. "Hey!" She shoved at him.

"I'm cold." Tatsuha complained.

"At least scoot over!" When Tatsuha complied she collapsed on top of the bedding, covering herself in the extra blanket. She paused when she heard him sniffle. "Are you crying?"

"No..." Tatsuha told her, only to sniffle again.

The older girl stared at the ceiling. "It's alright if you are. I won't tell anyone."

"Why did he have to go and say that?" Tatsuha asked, his voice subdued.

Despite the sake, Ayaka caught onto his meaning fast. "Nagi?"

"I was really starting to trust him. He said and did things no one else ever has."

"...maybe he didn't mean it?"

"So why did he say it?"

"Because couples say dumb things when they argue - because we know each other well enough to know what hurts." Ayaka blinked back tears of her own.

"Are you going to break up with Nakano?"

"...I don't know. It's hard. I thought I was okay with all this sneaking around. That we trusted each other more because of it. But now..."

"Do you love him?"

"Of course I love him."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Maybe... I mean, he's sweet. He's kind to me. He's sexy. He inspires me. Look at me - going to college and learning advertising. But he introduced me to this whole new world. I didn't want to sit at home anymore. I wanted to do something with my life."

"Is that why?"

"No. It is, but it isn't. It's all that and none of that. It's... because he's him. I love him because he's him.

"That doesn't help."

"What am I supposed to be helping?"

"I think I'm in love with Nagi."

"But you're not certain?"

"I've... never felt like this before. Except - sort-of - with Ryuichi."

"But... Ryuichi's not here. He's just a picture on a wall. Nagi's here. He can talk to you. Touch you."

"And say mean things... would Ryuichi say mean things?"

She glanced over at him. "I don't know. We all say mean things sometimes, don't we?"

"I might have said something mean too." Tatsuha confessed.

"I might have jumped to conclusions." Ayaka admitted.

"Should we... call them?"

"Tomorrow. Let's call them tomorrow." Ayaka let her eyes slide close.

Something bothered Tatsuha. Something about the door. But he ignored it - letting himself drift to sleep as well.

 

* * *

 

 

"Geez, he's in a funk." Shuichi watched Hiro fiddle with his guitar strings.

Suguru nodded. "He's almost as bad as you can be."

"Gee, thanks." Shuichi replied dryly.

"You know, maybe I'm getting soft. But all this over 3% seems extreme. If Hiroshi wants to admit to Ayaka, then he should just do it. Maybe we'll lose fans - but I think we can afford it. Seguchi and Ukai-san are both married. That never stopped Nittle Grasper's fan from coming back for more. Maybe we'll even gain fans in the end."

"You're wrong."

"I am?" Suguru blinked.

This isn't about the band, and that's not how we should look at it. HIro's a friend. This is killing him - trying to be logical about it. He loves her, and that's all that should matter."

Suguru looked at him, then nodded. "Management won't like it. But this is our decision, right? It's their job to think up angles to keep us in the charts no matter what. If they can't do that, we can always ask Seguchi for a different management team." Suguru's smile seemed honest and innocent. It belied the deviousness of his statement.

Shuichi's eyes hardened, and he smirked. "K won't like that."

"What's another set of recording equipment? Besides, if he's really the best..." The keyboardist left the words hanging.

Shuichi's smile widened into a grin. "Agreed. **HIRO**!!" He turned to shout at his best friend.

Suguru winced, covering his ears with his hands. "Don't be so loud!"

Hiro glanced back, a bit surprised and confused. He paused when he saw his bandmates smile.

Shuichi winked, giving him the thumbs up. "Go for it!"

For a moment he stared at them, before understanding sunk in. Then a smile lit his face. "Thank-you!"

Only a few minutes later he swerved his bike onto the busy highway heading toward Kyoto.

 

* * *

 

 

The laptop screen swiveled. In retrospect, it would have been more helpful if the keyboard swiveled. However, Ryuichi leaned on the chair arm to use the touch pad that served as the mouse. He clicked on 'Start', then hovered over 'My Recent Documents". A list of ten files popped up. He dismissed the picture and video files as insignificant. that left three text files. He glanced at Reiji - who was still fast asleep.

One file was his schedule. The second was the rough draft of a letter to the Japanese movie producer she was swinging the deal with. It had to be the rough draft, because he didn't think she would leave in the part about the director being a pompous ass in the final version. Although, with Reiji, you never knew.

The third file was a list of addresses in Kyoto. He skimmed them, not spotting what he was looking for. That was when the swivel keyboard would definitely have been more use. Leaning farther over he pecked out a new address somewhere in the middle of the list. Then he saved the file and shut it down, swiveling the screen back to face his manager.

Reiji stirred, but didn't awaken.

Ryuichi sat back in his seat, glancing out the window sill with a troubled expression. On instinct, he picked up Kumagorou to hold him close. Then turned his mp3 player back on. 'Bad Luck', the screen read. He hummed briefly, before singing softly.

_"If you could still wait for me to come back, with those eyes turned away,_  
_Someday, let's recreate that bewildered kiss."_

 

* * *

 

Ayaka's head was pounding. She groaned as she sat up, staring for a minute at Tatsuha, who was hugging the pillow his head was resting on.

"Geez, you did that when you were a kid." She said aloud, before deciding it hurt too much to talk. Ruffling his hair, she folded up the blanket and laid it on a chair, before going to take a shower. She was still dressed in the dress from the bar - and she remembered sitting in a gutter in it throwing up. She felt filthy and upset with herself for trying to solve her problems with drinking.

She also remembered her and Tatsuha's conversation distinctly. She almost wished she didn't. She loved Hiro. But could she honestly handle it if he denied those pictures?

She turned on the shower, ignoring how much it hurt her head. The hot water felt good, but the sound was killing her. She threw a yukata over her wet frame and exited the bathroom towel drying her hair and planning on waking Tatsuha up. That way she could dress in private while he showered.

She froze when she saw Hiro standing in the doorway of her bedroom. He was staring at Tatsuha, who was still asleep. Correction - asleep on her bed, under her covers, and not wearing a shirt. The equation looked easy.

Hiro turned to look at her, and the accusation in his eyes were clear. Her throat constricted. Words wouldn't come out. He whirled away to head back the way he came. Ayaka dropped the towel and ran after him. Her throat finally loosened. "Hiro - wait!"

Hiro turned back at the door. "I came to tell you Shu and Suguru say it's okay to tell the world I have someone special." His words were sarcastic. The tone was painful enough, the words cut deeper. "But it looks like that was premature of me."

"Hiro, no - Tatsuha and I got drunk-" Ayaka tried to explain.

"And that's supposed to make it okay?"

Ayaka shook her head furiously. "No! It was stupid, but we-"

"You what?! I can see what you did!"

"You honestly think I slept with Tatsuha??"

"Why not? He looks like Yuki."

Ayaka wasn't even aware she was moving until she cuffed him across the face. "You bastard! It's been two years since my engagement to Eiri!"

"You never forget your first love, right?" Hiro taunted.

Ayaka found herself laughing; it wasn't a pleasant sound. "You never forget..." She laughed some more. "You want to play it like that? Fine! Tell me, Nakano-san, if those pictures were of you and Shindo kissing - would you deny them?"

Hiro stared, then a blush colored his face. "Bitch." He turned to leave.

"I guess you don't have to worry about lying about not having a girlfriend, huh?" She challenged. Her reply was the door slamming shut.

Tatsuha, holding his head and looking foggy appeared in the doorway. "Ayaka - what? I thought I heard Hiroshi."

Ayaka began to laugh again. "We just broke up!" She announced. Then she collapsed to her knees, as tears began to fill her eyes. "Tatsuha - I just really messed up!"

Tatsuha stared at her, eyes wide and uncertain.

  
_To Be Continued..._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This time all the songs are various site translation of Gravitation songs. (But you all knew that one)
> 
> It's very much my headcanon that Hiroshi was in love with Shuichi, and it is brought up throughout this fic. As is Ayaka's original love of Eiri. I absolutely despise the "they never really loved so and so" trope. You will NEVER find it in my fics. Yes, Ayaka and Hiroshi very much did love someone else first. No, that doesn't mean they love each other LESS. TBH, it's probably one of the reasons I adore them as a ship. Instead of having the "love rival" be a two dimensional character there just to add drama, or simply have her fade to obscurity forever pining for Eiri, they bring her back as Hiro's love interest. I hardcore adore that, and wish we'd get that take more often.


	7. Chapter 7

Being a monk had taught Tatsuha patience. After hearing what had transpired between Ayaka and Hiro, he knew the guitarist and himself definitely needed to have a chat. However, he had no idea where Hiro lived, and couldn't be sure of when or if the other man would return to NG Studios that day. Shuichi would know, but he didn't think the popstar would divulge the information if he told him the reason he needed to find Hiro was to beat him into a pulp. After he'd calmed down he decided that might be extreme. He didn't need to beat him to a pulp - just beat some sense into him. Which pretty much might mean the same thing, but sounded less violent.

So after calming Ayaka down the best he could, he'd gone home. Earned a lecture from his father for being gone all night - though he calmed considerably once he'd said he'd met up with Ayaka - who'd had a fight with her boyfriend and needed to talk. He left out any mention of where he'd met her or that the talking had involved a lot of sake.

Tomorrow was friday, so he knew where to find Hiro then. At the studio filming Rock Jam - Bad Luck's appearance on it was all over the tv. Having followed Nittle Grasper - and Sakuma specifically - for so long, Tatsuha knew the address to every major studio that filmed entertainment specials.

There'd been ceremonies to fill up the day, and it would be the same on friday. He was grateful for the distraction. Aside from helping patch up Ayaka and Hiro's relationship - something he had inadvertently helped sabotage - there was his own to think over. Ayaka's words about couples knowing how to hurt one another the most - and her argument with Hiro that seemed to prove them - had made him come to a decision. He wanted to patch things up with Nagi. More than that, he wanted to try to have a serious relationship with him. In the past month he'd slowly been breaking off his previous relationships. He'd severed the last of them now, and wasn't sure whether it was exciting or unnerving.

As he knelt in his room, looking at some plastic storage boxes he'd bought, he took a deep breath. One final step. Standing up he moved slowly over and began to take the pictures that covered his wall down. He glanced almost guiltily at the poster of Ryuichi with Sleepless Beauty written on it. "He... doesn't necessarily mean more - not yet. But, Ayaka's right. He's here. He can talk to me; touch me; be a part of my life! I never realized before how much I needed that. You understand... right?"

Posters, magazines, and memorabilia were placed with painstaking care in the storage containers. The cds and concerts he kept out. He approached the poster, reaching for a corner, and froze. He smoothed down a taped edge. "Well, I'm still a fan, right?" He couldn't help but smile. He closed up the boxes with the matching lids, and glanced around the now barren-looking room blankly. "Damn. Now I have to decorate it..."

 

* * *

 

 

"We're never going to turn in a good performance." Suguru groaned softly. He had his head flopped back on the couch in their dressing room. Shuichi hushed him with a frown before turning to look at Hiro. The guitarist sat in a chair in the corner. Outwardly he seemed calm. Stoic even. But the memory of him slamming into the practice room at NG and announcing his intention to deny the pictures was fresh in the singer's mind. He wasn't sure he'd ever seen his best friend look so angry. What was worse was that in his eyes Shuichi didn't see anger, but pain. Whatever had happened in Kyoto with Ayaka couldn't have been good.

A knock on the door made all of them jump. "Five minutes!"

Shuichi glanced at his bandmates, then forced a smile. "Hey, showtime! Let's rock it!" Hiro looked at him blankly, and Suguru looked at him like he was insane. The latter was fairly normal, but at that moment it was a double blow. Shuichi felt like a cloud of doom was hovering over them. Suguru was right, in their current mindset their performance would suck.

A sound like an engine was suddenly heard, and seemed to be getting louder.

"What's that?" Suguru blinked.

"Almost sounds like..." Shuichi stood. "Waaah!" He screamed when their door was burst open by a motorcycle.

Tatsuha, not wearing a helmet, swung off the bike and approached Hiro. "Nakano."

Hiro stood, his eyes blazing. "Uesugi."

Suguru and Shuichi glanced at each other nervously as the two faced off. Then Tatsuha sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Damn it. I was going to punch you. But now I just can't bring myself to do it."

"Punch me?? What the hell does that mean? You're the one who - "

"You dumb ass! I didn't do anything but get drunk off my gourd and fall asleep. And double that for Ayaka. The girl has known me since I was nine! She used to babysit me! You honestly think anything happened?"

Hiro froze. "You mean you didn't - "

"Of course not. Geez, she's like an older sister to me. I couldn't sleep with her anymore than I could Mika."

The guitarist's eyes fell to the floor, and his hair hid the view of his face. "I was a jerk, wasn't I?"

"That's the understatement of the year." Tatsuha turned back to climb on his bike, but paused. "She'll be watching tonight, you know."

He looked up, his face thoughtful. "You think I have a chance of patching things up?"

"Depends on what you say out there tonight. Better make it good, or I'll come back for that punch I didn't throw."

Hiro smiled. "You're a nice guy, Uesugi."

"Yah, well, don't let it get around. It'll ruin my reputation." Tatsuha grinned, climbing onto his bike. "If you'll excuse me, I've got somewhere special to be tonight." He backed the motorcycle up into the hallway before revving the engine and driving off again.

A distressed looking stage hand knocked on the door frame. "...it's... it's airtime..." He stuttered.

Shuichi, Hiro, and Suguru exchanged a smirk.

"Alright! Let's rock it!" Shuichi shouted.

 

* * *

 

 

The music hit Tatsuha like a physical force as he entered the underground club. It was one of Tokyo's largest. Here the music was louder, the crowd from a larger mix of life. Both drinks and drugs flowed more freely. He wasn't overly fond of the larger clubs like this. Too much potential trouble. Always having to watch your back, and keep you eye on your cup as well as the stage or dance floor. He wasn't here to drink tonight, though, so he wasn't worried about that.

The intensity of the music, and its darker tone, told him Vendetta was already performing before he even managed to get a view of the stage. Nagi spotted him, and seemed to consider his presence. Tatsuha wasn't sure but he thought he saw his usual smirk slide across his lips before he took his place at the mic.

_"It's not the penance that scares you,_   
_It's the absence of sound._   
_It's the absolute silence_   
_That follows the break down._

_Because it's never the words that reach you,_   
_It's the pounding and throbbing of the beat._   
_The sound of your blood racing is so loud_   
_You can't hear the retreat._

_Aftermath._   
_After it's over there's nowhere to turn._   
_Aftermath._   
_Nobody's left. Watch the world burn._

_Aftermath._   
_Does the smoke sting your eyes?_   
_Aftermath._   
_Alone in the ashes of your paradise..."_

Tatsuha shivered. The first time he'd heard them play, he'd felt an empathy with Vendetta's songs. But this one set him on edge. Perhaps it was just too close to home. Or maybe because he'd come tonight seeking to patch things up with Nagi, perhaps even go to the next level, and the song hardly seemed like a good omen.

Ignoring the feeling he found a corner to watch the performance. They played three more songs before calling a break. He couldn't get backstage, all he could do was wait for Nagi to find him - if he chose to. He really wasn't sure if tonight would turn out how he hoped.

His fears were put to rest when Nagi simply appeared at his side. He leaned in to yell above the music. "What's a nice boy like you doing in a place like this?!"

"Looking for someone who's up for some fun!" Tatsuha's eyes sparkled with mischief.

"Funny how your table's empty then!" Nagi smirked. His eyes were smoldering with heat, and Tatsuha felt his body reacting to it.

He leaned closer. "That's because I'm only up to it with one person!"

Nagi leaned in, his breath ghosting over his skin. "Just say the right words..."

Somehow he knew what he meant. Leaning up he pressed his mouth to his ear. "I'm all yours." The words still felt strange. Too possessive? Too submissive? He pushed those feelings aside. He just wasn't used to being exclusive, he told himself.

Nagi's mouth crashed over his, and his mind decided thinking could wait. He surrendered to the kiss, wrapping his arms around the other man's neck. Nagi didn't break the kiss as he pulled him into a side room. His hands were sliding under his shirt, and Tatsuha moaned into his mouth. Nagi growled, pressing his hips into his. He could feel his arousal, and he dug his own against it. The pleasure made his legs feel weak, and Nagi used his state to push them onto the couch.

They tumbled together, but he ended up taking the brunt of it, knocking the wind out of his lungs. Nagi's hands continued to burn over his skin, and he reveled in it, even as he struggled to recapture the lost air. The music wasn't as loud here as it was in the main section of the club. But he could still feel it beating through them. Nagi's mouth started working on the side of his neck below his ear, and Tatsuha couldn't help but cry out. Nagi chuckled into his skin, nipping at the sensitive area, and watching the younger man squirm beneath him. "You wanted this, Tats..."

Tatsuha shivered. "Gods, yes!" He replied.

Nagi kissed him again briefly as his hands slid down to undo his pants. Tatsuha surrendered to sensation. Nagi's hands burning both over and inside his body. His lips and teeth leaving marks on his skin. The feeling of their bodies grinding against each other; of Nagi filling him. And the sweet hot fire of release.

Coming down from it took several minutes. Slowly the pounding music slipped back into his consciousness. Nagi was already finished dressing. Tatsuha found himself frowning up at his boyfriend. He hadn't expected Nagi would be the type to cuddle. But what was the rush?

"Have to get back on stage." He commented when he sat up.

"There's a romantic line to end the night on." He couldn't help but torment.

Nagi smirked, leaning over to run a hand up his side and whisper. "Who says the night's over?"

Tatsuha felt himself lean into the touch, and Nagi took advantage of his position to nip at the sensitive skin of his neck below his ear. The younger man sucked a sharp breath in between his teeth. When Nagi pulled away again, Tatsuha sent him a glare. "Damn it, Nagi. Do you enjoy teasing me?"

"Can't help it. You're gorgeous like this."

That made Tatsuha pause, and he suppressed a grin. Leaning back, he ran a hand through his hair. "Well, I guess you better hurry up and get on stage..."

Nagi growled, and he grabbed his arm to yank him up into a fierce kiss. He could feel the desire in it, and he kissed back hungrily.

"Nagi!" A voice shouted from near the curtains.

"Nobody can hear you!" A second voice shouted.

Nagi released him with a curse. "We play two more set. Meet me outback after the second."

"Y-yah..." Tatsuha replied, feeling a little out of breath.

Nagi disappeared back into the club. "Idiots! I said I'd be back!"

"But it's almost time!" The first voice replied, then paused. "Er... did we interrupt-?"

"Luckily for you, no. Now come on!"

"Who were you with!" The second voice demanded, he sounded angry.

Tatsuha frowned as he began to redress. Neither of them had removed their clothing completely, but his pants were around his knees and the shirt half-off.

"None of your business, Ma-kun!" Nagi's tone was dark. Even hearing it made Tatsuha a little uncomfortable.

"It's that kid from Kyoto in there, isn't it?!" Ma-kun seemed unaffected.

Tatsuha sent a glare at the curtains. Who was he to call him a kid? He'd be nineteen this year, damn it.

"Stay out of it!" There was a warning in Nagi's tone.

He listened for more, but that must have been the end of the conversation. He frowned, not sure about what he'd overheard. Did his bandmates not approve of him? And if so, why not?

He found his jacket on the floor, inspected it for any stains, but found it clean. Pulling it on, he headed back out into the club to watch the stage.

"Alright, you freaks. Get ready for the dark side. Let's hear it for Vendetta!" The DJ shouted into the mic.

Tatsuha reclaimed his seat in the corner, rolling his eyes at the DJ. Then Vendetta began to play, and he leaned back with a grin when he recognized the song.

_"Bleed for me..."_

 

* * *

 

 

  
Ayaka was curled up in a chair in her apartment. The TV was on, and she was watching it, though her eyes were red from crying. The last few days felt so surreal. As if they'd happened to someone else besides her. The first fight with Hiro. Getting drunk with Tatsuha. The second fight over finding Tatusha in her bed. Hiro didn't believe nothing had happened between them. A part of her understood that. Logically, she looked guilty. But didn't he trust her?

But she hadn't trusted him either, had she? Thinking he'd put his fame above his love for her. Rock Jam came back on, and she looked at the screen, feeling empty. She couldn't even cry anymore.

"Welcome, welcome back." The host grinned. "While we couldn't call our next guest a surprise."

"Seeing as we've been talking about them coming up all evening." The second host interjected. The audience laughed, as was expected of them.

"We don't think you care, though. Let's welcome - Bad Luck!"

The crowd cheered and screamed, and a few members of the audience fainted. It was a normal beginning. Shuichi blew the crowd a kiss, Suguru winked, and Hiro simply waved - though he tossed some of his long hair over his shoulder before turning to head to their seats. She watched every show they were on, and had seen this entrance dozens of times. Her friends teased her about how she suddenly became a fangirl. She knew so much about the modern music scene now, no one would believe how blank she'd been to it two years before.

If Hiro denied her tonight, would she keep watching? She wondered. Then the hosts started talking.

"Welcome to the show again. We're honored to have you." The first host greeted.

"We're always happy to be here." Shuichi told him.

"The past few months have been busy for you." The third host put in.

"That's true." The second host spoke up. "A hit single, a sold-out concert in Taiwan. And now the rumor has it that you're working on a new album. Tell us, it that true?"

"Let's just say we're putting in some extra studio time." The singer replied. The audience screamed their approval of the answer.

"Tell us, Shindou-san, will there be lyrics by Yuki Eiri on this album?" The first host asked.

Shuichi forced a smile. "I didn't know you were a fan of Eiri's, Makoto-san. Should I have brought an autograph?"

The audience and other hosts laughed. The male host blushed and stammered something the mic didn't pick up over the laughter. Ayaka knew Shuichi was sick of the question. He'd simply denied the possibility when it had first started being asked. But denials only led to rumors that he and Yuki Eiri were breaking up. He'd become adept at dodging the question instead. Usually by putting the host who'd asked in an awkward position. She wondered if the hosts drew lots to see who would be stuck asking it.

"You and Yuki Eiri certainly remain one of Japan's hottest items. You're listed in the author's bio of all Yuki-san's new books. And last album you had his name among your thanks and dedications." The second host pointed out.

"That's true!" The third host pulled out a copy of the cd - sliding out the insert. "I dedicate this album and give my thanks to -  
My bandmates - who's music brings out my passion to sing.  
My management team - who are the best.  
NG Studios - for their continued support.  
My fans - who keep us in business and put up with our insanity.  
My family - I love you and I promise to visit more often.  
And Eiri - who will always be my inspiration and number one on my charts."

Shuichi blushed as the crowd screamed their approval.

"Even your dedications sound like lyrics." The host complimented. The crowd cheered again.

"Thank-you!" Shuichi bowed, still blushing.

"Since your third album, you've all done your thanks separately." The third host spoke again. The other hosts nodded at the fact. "Giving you each a chance to thank specific people in your lives. Tell us, Nakano-san, will this new album have a new dedication from you?"

The crowd grew very still and Ayaka curled tighter - biting her lip as she waited.

Hiro glanced at his bandmates before facing the hostess. "As a matter of fact, Kei-san. It will." He turned to look at the camera, and for a moment Ayaka felt like was somehow meeting her gaze despite the miles between them. "To Ayaka I don't know how you put up with me, or all of this. Not everyone would. I'm lucky I have you."

Tears blurred her vision, but she could hear that the crowd's reaction was mixed. Ayaka wiped at her tears hastily as one of the host spoke.

"Always before when asked about romance, you said you were waiting for that special someone."

"And I was - waiting for her to be willing to be a part of my public life as well as my private. It can be scary up here in the spotlight, as we all know. I sincerely hope Bad Luck's fans will support us."

"Well, another band member off the market." Kei spoke up. "It certainly doesn't look like you suffer bad luck in love, eh?"

The band forced a laugh at the pun.

"Any chance we'll get to meet the young woman ourselves, Nakano? Perhaps at a press conference?" Makoto hedged.

"You'll have to speak to our management team about that."

"Of course. Well, we're going to take a short break, but when we come back, Bad Luck will be performing their latest single. Stay tuned."

 

* * *

 

 

"K has a bazooka trained on us." Suguru spoke up.

"He hasn't brought out his magnum .44, so he can't be that angry." Shuichi put in.

"Do we dodge?" Hiro asked.

"We go to the stage and ignore him." Suguru voted.

"Agreed." Shuichi nodded.

There was a short burst of guitar music from Hiro's pocket. The other two looked at him as he fumbled out his cellphone.

"That's so cliche." Suguru complained.

"You use Bach. How cliche is that?" Hiro countered as he opened up the message. He froze, and held the phone close.

"C'mon, what's up?" Shuichi made a dodge for it, but Hiro moved it out of his way.

"Got to be faster than that!" He tormented.

"Or have a co-conspirator." Shuichi smirked.

"Huh?" Hiro looked at his hand, and found it empty.

"Once again - cliche!" Suguru held out the phone.

'I'm the lucky one! I love you! Ayaka.' The screen read.

 

* * *

 

 

Tatsuha had brought his motorcycle out back of the club. He sat sideways on it, waiting - but he'd put his back to the door. He heard it open and close and footsteps approached. He smirked, waiting - but the footsteps stopped right behind him and silence reigned.

The cologne was unfamiliar, and Tatsuha turned - eyes narrowing in suspicion. He froze when he saw Nagi's blonde bandmate behind him. Before he could ask what he wanted, he spoke.

"You don't know what you're getting into." He recognized the voice as 'Ma-kun'. "Break it off with Nagi before it's too late."

Tatsuha could only stare for a minute. "Who do you think you are?"

"Someone who knows more about what's going on than you do. Break it off with him. It's in both of your best interest." He turned and walked away, but paused at the edge of the building. "This conversation never happened." He added, and then he was gone.

Tatsuha stared at the corner for a long moment, fighting a chilling feeling inside. He'd decided to be serious about Nagi. Probably the first person he'd ever thought that about. Why did his bandmate want to warn him off? Why now? And for what reason?

The door opened again, and he started - turning to find Nagi looking at him. "That's a pretty picture." He stated, coming forward.

"I know." Tatsuha replied, though it didn't sound as glib as he'd meant it.

Nagi frowned. "Something wrong?"

Tatsuha hesitated. Did he tell him? Did he deny it? What came out when he spoke, though, wasn't either. "Nagi, are you serious about me?"

Nagi frowned. "Have I given you any reason to doubt me?"

"No, but..." Tatsuha frowned, not sure how to explain it.

Nagi chuckled, coming up to him. "You always this insecure after sex?"

"Not many of my relationships get a before sex, let alone after." He admitted.

"Easy answer would be "apparently."

"Some guys like the chase."

"To chase something means you have to be behind. We both know I prefer being out in front. Being... on top." He ran a hand up Tatsuha's side.

The young monk took a deep breath as the touch set his senses on fire. "I want to be serious about you."

"Good. I want that too." Nagi slid a hand around his back. The motorcycle was between them, so he couldn't pull him against him. Instead he traced slow circles on his skin. "Being with you was never about sex. Though it is a perk I intend to enjoy."

Tatsuha couldn't help but smirk. "Oh?" He slid onto his motorcycle, never taking his eyes from Nagi. "Then let me take you for a ride."

Nagi chuckled, tilting his face to him. "You better make good on that promise."

Nagi's lips descended on his, and Tatsuha pushed aside any lingering doubt. He couldn't let the words of someone he didn't even know ruin this. Could he?

  
_To Be Continued..._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lyrics to Aftermath were written by me. Please don't use it with my permission! Thanks!


	8. Chapter 8

Tatsuha was buttoning his shirt when Nagi's arms wrapped around him. "Leaving so soon?" Nagi murmured into his ear.

"Mmn." Tatsuha leaned back into the embrace. "All night is soon?" He teased.

"We just woke up, so it's soon." Nagi nuzzled his neck.

Tatsuha let out a content sigh. "I have a ceremony late this morning. Even by Shinkansen it can take hours to get to Kyoto."

"Pretend you forgot." Nagi suggested.

"I can't do that."

"Sure you can. It's easy." Nagi tugged him back into the bed.

Tatsuha chuckled, even as he let himself be pulled in. "What about my responsibilities?"

"I want you to forget them. I want you to put me in front of everything." Nagi kissed him hungrily.

Tatsuha's eyes were troubled, and he broke the kiss - trying to sit up. "You're so selfish."

Nagi pinned him down. "C'mon, Tats. Just this once." He pressured.

"My father will be beside himself-" Tatsuha cut off when Nagi kissed him again.

"Me, Tats." He murmured into the kiss. "I only want you to think of me."

 

* * *

 

 

  
"Maruda-san says she hopes you feel better soon. I told her you were unwell."

Tatsuha winced at the words. "I'm sorry, father. My phone ran out of power and I woke up late. And the Shinkansen was delayed-"

"I called Mika. She says you haven't visited her once, nor Eiri, in the past month." His father continued. "You've been gone so much the last two weeks, I thought you might have spent at least some of it with them."

"I've made every other ceremony."

"So that excuses you from this one?"

"No... I'm sorry, Father." Tatsuha bowed low.

"You are young, so mistakes aren't unexpected." Uesugi continued to work on the lunch he was preparing, not looking at him.

Tatsuha frowned at those words, not liking them at all. "It won't happen again." He insisted.

"Were you trying to convince Tohma to give you tickets to that movie premiere?"

Tatsuha froze, startled. "Ryuichi's movie..." He whispered. It opened that saturday. With, of course, a special starlit premiere on friday in Tokyo. He'd completely forgotten about it. In fact, he hadn't called Tohma even once to beg for tickets.

"I saw your room."

"My room?" Tatsuha blinked, then realized his father meant how he'd redecorated it. "Well, it was time to redecorate it, don't you think? And, hey, some of those gifts I got for performing ceremonies aren't collecting dust in the shed now. Right?"

"It is good to see you put those to use." Uesugi admitted. "Though I question some of the other pieces."

Among the traditional furniture and art were more modern touches. "Hey, some starving artist in Tokyo appreciated my contribution." Tatsuha protested. "Nagi took me shopping the other day."

"Nagi again? You spend a lot of time with him."

Tatsuha stole a spoonful of rice from the pot on the stove. "I like his company."

"Don't fill up on rice again!" His father swatted his hands away from the pot.

Tatsuha grinned, backing away as his father returned to chopping vegetables. "Actually, I've been thinking of inviting Nagi to dinner."

The knife froze mid-chop. "Here?"

Tatsuha frowned at the query. "Of course here. Why else would I bring it up? I'd like it if you got to know each other."

The knife finished chopping the vegetables, though the slices sounded harder than before. "We're very busy this week, Tatsuha."

Tatsuha frowned, not liking the way he'd said that. "What about this weekend?"

"I was thinking of inviting Mika. I haven't seen my grandson for awhile. Perhaps Tohma could even join us."

Tatsuha's frown deepened. His father had mentioned no such plans previously. He'd only met Nagi the one time. Why would he dislike him? He set his jaw determinedly. "That's great. I'll invite Nagi for lunch on Sunday. I'm sure he'd like to meet Mika and Tohma too. And he can catch the Shinkansen back in the evening."

Uesugi paused again. "Is it so important to you?"

"As a matter of fact, it is." Tatsuha replied firmly. If Nagi was going to be a part of his life, then he would have to deal with Uesugi family sooner or later.

"Very well, then. Anyone important to you is, of course, welcome. I'll speak to Mika this evening. I suspect you'll be seeing him before sunday?"

"Probably, but I'll call him."

"Ah." Uesugi said in way of reply. And that was the end of the conversation.

 

* * *

 

 

  
The tune to 'Welcome to My Romance' began to play from a cellphone on top of a guitar-shaped cellphone case. A metal cellphone charm imprinted with the picture of Hiro was across the screen. Ayaka brushed it off to check the number. Recognizing it, she picked up. "Tatsuha? Is everything alright?" She had a hairbrush and headband in her free hand.

"No. I just let my mouth get ahead of my brain."

"If you're in jail, I'm not paying." Ayaka teased him.

"Funny!" Tatsuha said in a tone that implied the opposite. "No, it's way worse than that."

"Um... You stole and crashed Eiri's car? No, wait - you already did that before... you finally set fire to Tohma's car like you've been threatening all these years?"

"I told my father I was bringing Nagi for lunch with the family."

"Your father and Mika at the same time?" Ayaka winced.

"Father, Mika, and Tohma at the same time."

"I'm sorry to inform you that Nagi's unidentified remains will be pulled from the harbor next week."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"What does Nagi say about it?"

"I haven't told him yet."

"Oy! Tatsuha!"

"I told you my mouth got ahead of my brain! I was trying to get father to have lunch with us, and he kept dodging. First it was - we're busy this week. Then it was - I was going to invite Mika over. I got frustrated."

"Sounds like you went deep sea diving without scuba gear. Can't you just cancel? Tell him Nagi had plans you were unaware of?"

"That sets up a bad precedence with father. You know how he is. And I think it would be better for them to meet him now rather than later."

"Why? Are you pregnant?" Ayaka teased him.

"Okay, you have our personalities in reverse. I'm the obnoxious one, remember?"

Ayaka laughed. "I'm sorry - I'm just not used to you being so serious about things. Besides, you asked me that when I told you I was introducing Hiro to my family. Remember?"

"Hey, with you it was a legitimate question, not just a wise ass remark."

"Asking me if I was pregnant was a legitimate question?"

"Oh, I forgot. It's you and Nakano. You probably haven't even reached first base yet."

"Tatsuha, what makes you think you know anything about my sex life?"

"C'mon, it's you. And Nakano." There was a pause. "Did you say sex life? Have you two seriously-" Tatsuha spluttered over the line.

Ayaka let him hang for a minute. "Alright, alright. So we haven't yet. But I bet we're farther than you and Nagi."

"Who do you think you're kidding?"

"I don't know. You haven't bragged yet." Ayaka teased.

"We're way beyond Nakano and you. And Nagi is fantastic!"

"Are you sure you aren't just saying this to preserve your reputation?"

"Want details?" Tatsuha tormented.

Ayaka flushed. "No! Definitely not!"

"Are you sure? Nagi does this great thing with his tongue-"

"I'm hanging up now, Tatsuha!"

"Wait, wait, wait! You haven't helped me yet!"

"Alright, look. Just go for it. Just... don't expect them to welcome him with open arms. If they do, great, but don't expect it. Tell him - just be himself. Tohma especially will know if he's putting on an act to please them."

"Were you this scared when you introduced Nakano to your family?"

"You bet I was. I knew they were the most important people in my life. And I wanted them to..." Ayaka sighed. "Just give them time."

"...Your mom will come around Ayaka. I'm sure she will." Tatsuha spoke quietly.

Ayaka smiled. Tatsuha rarely showed his more sensitive side to people. She'd always been honored to be among those he did. "Why don't Hiroshi and I come by for moral support?"

"You'd do that?"

"Wouldn't miss it."

 

* * *

 

 

  
_"In the crowded city streets, we all wear a disguise._   
_It's the hurry scurry of the day, we just pass eachother by._   
_A simple equation - how we never met eyes._   
_But..._

_"In the moon's filtered light, I first glimpse your face._   
_A simple chance encounter, I don't even know your name._   
_Even if you asked me, I'd say destiny is fake._   
_But..._

_What do I call it?_   
_I'm still haunted by your smile._   
_What do I call it?_   
_You're not the type to beguile._   
_What do I call it?_   
_Just a glance makes my heart race._   
_What do I call it?_   
_Because I won't call it fate._   
_(But maybe it is...)"_

Shuichi had no microphone. Not that he needed one in the perfect acoustics of N-G studios practice room. He had a notebook in his hands - though he couldn't have been reading it with his eyes closed. Suguru and Hiro were playing their instruments, though there was a hesitant quality to the music.

"Gaah!" Suguru threw his hands up in frustration a short bit into the musical interlude that followed Shuichi's chorus. "I just don't like that part."

"It's rough still." Shuichi admitted, opening his eyes. "But I like the beat. Maybe it's the tempo?"

"Maybe I should speed up the back beat." Suguru scowled at the keyboard. "I'll work on it tonight."

"Shuichi!!!" The excited cry was all the warning the pink haired popstar got before he was glomped.

"Aaaah!" Shuichi screamed as he was toppled over. Suguru and Hiro blinked before looking down at where Ryuichi was clinging to his fellow singer.

"Kuma and I missed you, Shuichi!" Releasing him, Ryuichi jumped back to his feet with a grin.

Shuichi blinked for a moment, before realizing what had just happened. "Ryuichi!" The glomp was reenacted in reverse, with Ryuichi falling over. "Sorry! Sorry!" Shuichi hastily stood up.

Ryuichi grinned, bouncing to his feet again. "Was that a new song? Was it? Was it? It's so cool!"

"Ah, it will be when it's finished." Shuichi blushed at the praise from his idol. "We're working on it."

"I can't wait to hear it when it's all shiny!" Ryuichi beamed. "I miss seeing Shuichi shine on stage - let's sing a duet at my premiere on friday!"

A nearby speaker exploded into a shower of sparks. Bad Luck's three members stared at it, but Ryuichi didn't even spare it a glance.

"Sakuma!" Reiji was by the open door with a grenade in her hand. "I told you! I'm the only one who's allowed to plan spontaneous acts like that!"

"Ah, Rage is here too." A drip appeared by Shuichi's head.

"Don't throw those things around in here! You might blow up something important!" Suguru snapped at Ryuichi's manager.

"Stop distracting my client! We have a meeting to attend!" Reiji countered.

"He's the one distracting us!"

Gun shots scattered through the room, and those present turned to find K at the door. "What are you all doing standing around and why is Ryuichi here?"

"K!!!" Ryuichi glomped his ex-manager. Or tried, but K put his gun to his face.

"Are you spying on my band's practice session?"

Ryuichi put Kuma between himself and K's gun. "K-san! Don't shoot Ryuichi! He only came to see Shu-chan!"

"Hn." He glanced between Ryuichi and the members of Bad Luck, finally noticing Reiji to one side - still armed with her grenades. "Okay!" He holstered his gun. "Early lunch break!"

"Yay! I get to have lunch with Shu-chan!" Ryuichi bounced back to hug the pink-haired singer.

Reiji stormed over to Bad Luck's manager. "What are you doing??" She fumed. "We were supposed to meet with Tohma-!"

"You're out of luck."

"Huh??"

"He just went to lunch with his wife. He sends his apologies. Something important must have come up."

"Geez. The premiere is only two days away. You'd think that was pretty important."

"Family first." K said, his face unusually serious and distant.

"Saa." Reiji crossed her arms, Watching Ryuichi jabber to Shuichi - who was putting his notebook back in his bag. Suguru and Hiro were with them. Suguru had his music folder under one arm and Hiro was texting on his cellphone.

"It should only take one of us to keep an eye on the crazy crew." K mentioned conversationally.

"What? You want a break?" Reiji asked.

"No, but I could use a favor." K replied. Reiji eyed him suspiciously.

 

* * *

 

 

"So, should I be worried about what's wrong now? I noticed you didn't bring Keiichi." Touma asked Mika. They were at a table in a high class restaurant, looking at the menus.

"He was sleeping, and I didn't want to wake him." Mika admitted. Touma only looked at her in amusement. "I don't know for a fact something is wrong..."

"Mikarin, you have to at least suspect something is wrong."

"Father called this morning."

"Tatsuha." Tohma supplied instantly.

"Yes and no." Mika frowned. "He invited us for the weekend, saying he'd like to see Keiichi. I said Keiichi and I could come saturday, since the premiere is friday night."

Tohma watched her lips form another frown, and his eyebrows pitched worriedly. "What's wrong with that? It sounds like a good idea, actually."

"He asked if you could join us by Sunday morning."

It was Tohma's turn to frown. While he wouldn't say Uesugi-san disliked him, he wouldn't say they were overly close either. So what could prompt the older man to ask for his presence? "Did he give a reason?"

"Tatsuha is bringing someone home for lunch."

Tohma froze. "Someone... as in a girlfriend?" He asked after a long minute of digesting the information. "He's never brought a girlfriend home, has he?"

Mika snorted. "Not while anyone was there, and not to have lunch."

"So, this girl-"

"Boy."

Tohma froze again. "Ah."

"Father's not saying too much on that angle. I don't know if that surprises me or not. I just..." Mika ran a hand through her hair.

"You're concerned by the sudden development. In truth, it surprises me as well. And on the weekend of Ryuichi's movie premiere no less." Tohma set his chin on his hand. "Whatever happened to his professed love of my ex-bandmate?"

"I don't know. I don't know who this guy is. Or what prompted this decision." Mika scowled, then softened. "I do know Tatsuha wouldn't do something like this on a whim. But if this guy was so important to him, why wouldn't he mention him sooner?"

"Perhaps in fear of our interference?" Tohma suggested. "Have you spoken to Eiri?"

"No... I guess I could ask him if Tatsuha's mentioned anyone lately. But even if he has, that doesn't tell me anything about him."

Tohma chuckled. "I see." He took her hand. "You have his name?"

Mika blushed a little at being called out. "Only one name. I don't think it's his surname either."

"What is it?"

"Nagi."

"And the lunch is sunday?" When Mika nodded, Tohma kissed her palm. "I'll know all about him by saturday afternoon."

"I'm terrible, aren't I?" Mika asked guiltily.

Tohma shook his head. "Unfortunately, Tatsuha is in... a unique position. He has his life at the temple, but he also has his life with us and Eiri. Though he's bragged about his identical looks to Eiri winning him conquests, it must also cause problems. Those mentioned conquests didn't see him for himself. So seriousness with them was out of the question. And then there's his connection to use, and his friendship with Shuichi and Bad Luck. How many others would care more for that than for him?"

"When you put it like that, it's hard for me to complain about his sleeping around." Mika mentioned, shaking her head in amusement.

Tohma chuckled. "Yes, well, he didn't have to quite so promiscuous as he has been. Or taken advantage of his connections to obtain other's interests. Still, at least he recognized the dangers and did not involve himself deeply with someone who's only interest was gain from them."

"So if he's been so smart so far, this "Nagi" might be trustworthy." Mika stated thoughtfully.

"Perhaps or perhaps not. There is no smart way to fall in love." Tohma pointed out. "But we can hope for the best for him."

 

* * *

 

 

Tatsuha was in his monk robes again, kneeling in front of the temple shrine. His eyes were closed and he was trying to concentrate on his meditation. Which would have been so much easier if Nagi wasn't sitting next to him, his hand inching up his thigh in a tantalizing caress. "Nagi, stop that."

"Stop what?" He could hear the smirk in his lover's voice.

"I can't concentrate."

"That's cuz you're concentrating on the wrong thing. You should be concentrating on me." The hand slipped inward, pushing between his legs despite the layers of robes in the way.

Tatsuha gasped, his eyes flying open. "Nagi!" He tried to twist away, only for the other man to take advantage of his awkward position to tackle him to the floor.

"Now your mind's on the right subject." Nagi smirked down at him. When Tatsuha opened his mouth to protest, the singer captured his lips with his own. Nagi wasted no time in darting out his tongue to forcefully enter the mouth he held captive. Stroking the familiar curves of the mouth he was beginning to know almost as well as his own. He ignored the protests Tatsuha was still mumbling, enjoying the vibrations they caused. His hands began to undo the fastenings of the younger man's robes.

Tatsuha's eyes widened, and he brought his hands down to fight the ones trying to undress him - his body twisting in an attempt to throw the heavier man off. To his annoyance, Nagi chuckled as he broke off the kiss.

"Playing coy, huh? It's sexy on you." He murmured into his ear.

"I'm not playing anything!" Tatsuha shoved his face away from his neck. "Stop it, Nagi. We're in the temple."

"So? I bet you've done it in here before." Nagi tried to recapture his lips.

Realizing he really had no intentions of stopping, Tatsuha shoved him forcefully off of him. "Never in the temple!" He snapped, scrambling to his feet. Nagi did the same. "Just because father is at a ceremony doesn't mean anything. We're still open for business. Anyone could come in."

"I think they'd have the decency to leave us alone." Nagi smirked.

"That's not the point." Tatsuha growled, retying the fastenings Nagi had undone. "I take this seriously, Nagi, alright? It's one of the most important things in my life."

"More important that me?" Nagi crossed his arms over his chest.

"No, but... more important than sex... mostly." Tatsuha amended.

"So you're not putting out today?" Nagi asked.

"If I said "No", would you leave?" Tatsuha challenged.

Nagi leaned back against a pillar, shrugging. "Maybe."

Tatsuha grew very still, then his hands clenched and he stormed out of the temple. Nagi watched his departing figure with a smirk, chuckling to himself before following.

He found him in his room, pausing when he saw a signed poster of Bad Luck on his wall. He scowled at it, barely managing to return his face to normal when Tatsuha whirled to him.

"I don't remember inviting you in." The youngest Uesugi glowered at him.

"You didn't." Nagi was unfazed.

"I should throw your sorry ass out."

"Would the invitation for sunday still stand?"

"Well, I won't be putting out with my family present. Sure you want to come?"

"Keeping my hands to myself will be a challenge. Especially if I don't get any before that." Nagi hedged, stepping closer.

"Ass."

"I like asses - especially yours." Nagi smirked as he drew him close.

"I should make you wait." Tatsuha said, only half-joking.

"But you won't." Nagi kissed him briefly. "You're gorgeous, Tats. Hard to resist. I want you all the time. You know that."

Mollified, Tatsuha kissed him back, wrapping his arms around him and drawing him to the bed.

 

_To Be Continued..._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lyrics to "Won't Call it Fate" were written by me. Please don't use them without my permission!


	9. Chapter 9

For once Ayaka was too excited to really notice the whispers that followed her across the college grounds. Two weeks had passed since Hiro had professed on Rock Jam. Reviews were mixed over how the fan's felt about the guitarist being "off the market" as K had put it to her. Bad Luck's manager had actually planned her and Hiro's first "date" after the announcement, and had prepped her on how to respond to press questions. She still felt like a doe in headlights when they'd stepped out of the restaurant - surrounded by flashing cameras and a group of reporters shouting out questions.

After a few questions, and being asked to pose for the camera, K had shooed the reporters away in his typical style - which involved a lot of bullets - and they'd been able to escape the press. At least temporarily. She'd been warned, but not fully prepared, for her instant fame at the college she attended. Being whispered about and pointed at was never a comfortable feeling. A gaggle of lower classmen had actually begged her to sign their official Hiroshi Nakano merchandise. Which had felt odd, but a little uplifting as well. A girl in her computer class had actually slapped her and called her a slut. The girl was transferred out of the class, but the incident had left her feeling humiliated and self-conscious for days afterwards.

All of that was far from her mind, though. She'd just been told that her advertisement had been chosen to be used by a company they'd done a class project for. She felt excited and accomplished. And she couldn't wait to call Hiro and tell him about it. Unfortunately, this section of the college grounds always had lousy reception. Not even one bar of satellites showed on her cellphone screen. She'd have to wait until she got home at this point, since yelling over the busy pedestrian traffic on the main street did not seem appealing.

She was completely unprepared for the foot that shot out to trip her. She could only give a small cry as she crashed to the ground, too shocked to scream. She pushed herself up, turning to look at what had happened. She was surprised to see several students from her class. It was not a group she chose to associate with. She'd never appreciated their attitude toward the class, or their fellow students, but she'd never been bothered by them either.

"Well, if it isn't Miss Lucky." One girl sneered.

"Lucky to have a famous boyfriend you mean." A boy kicked her folder away.

Ayaka was grateful it zipped close, or her work would have scattered. She hastily got to her feet, frowning at the small group. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, fess up, slut!" A third girl stepped up to shove her back. Ayaka stumbled, but retained her footing. "Just how many times did you have to sleep with your loser boyfriend to get him to fix the contest?"

Ayaka stared for a long moment, too stunned by the accusation to even respond to it. She knew the group was only looking for trouble, but the girl's crude suggestion struck just the wrong chord. She didn't want to back down. "Don't be ridiculous! The contest winner was chosen by a company who had no idea who any of us were. I won fair and square."

"Oh, she played fair, you hear?" Another girl taunted.

"Oh, you mean she only hinted to her rockstar fuck buddy she wanted to win? She didn't actually ask him to rig it?" A second boy sneered.

Ayaka felt her face heat at the crude words. Even Tatsuha - who she knew could be rather vulgar depending on the situation - had always watched his mouth around her. "I didn't rig the contest. Nobody did. I won by my own assets."

The first boy eyed her breasts lewdly. "Which assets would those be?"

Ayaka's hand clenched as he and his friends started laughing. It was all the warning they got before her fist smashed into his face - sending him sprawling. She allowed herself to revel in their shocked silence a moment. Punching the jerk had actually been very satisfying, and for a moment she felt in control of the situation. The feeling didn't last long.

"You're going to pay for that, you little bitch!" The boy leaped up, striding towards her.

As the group started to surround her, Ayaka realized belatedly that she should have used their shock to escape. Swallowing, she backed away - trying to keep distance between herself and her would-be attackers. She vaguely recalled some advice from Tatsuha about how to defend herself in a fight. She distinctly remembered him telling her not to look away from her attackers, no matter how much she wanted to. To not look for escape options until the first attack was over. But she wasn't at all certain she was going to get through the first attack on her feet. And she doubted the young man had meant his advice to go across from this many opponents.

The single rapport of a bullet made them all jump. It shot into the ground between her and her attackers harmlessly, but the sound was loud and left their ears ringing. She didn't recognize the young woman who approached, gun in hand and sunglasses shielding her eyes.

"You kids don't look like you're playing nicely." The threat in her voice was obvious. "I think you'd best move along."

"He-hey, you can't bring a gun on campus!" One of the girls stuttered - her eyes wide with fear. The reply was the rapport of the gun again, and another bullet lodging into the ground - this time at the girl's feet. She screamed and fled, and the rest of the group followed suit.

Ayaka eyed the strange girl uneasily as she walked forward to pick up the folder. "Typical bully mindset. They act tough, but they're cowards underneath. Run when someone scarier comes along."

She turned to her and Ayaka took a step back. "Who are you?"

"Hm? Oh! Reiji at your service." Ryuichi's manager removed her sunglasses. "Rage, if you prefer. K sent me to check up on you."

Relief flooded through Ayaka and she was surprised to find herself shaking. She sat down on the ground - not sure her legs would hold her up. "I'm terribly sorry, I just..." She felt tears prick her eyes and tried to blink them back.

"Take a deep breath. It's shock. A perfectly normal reaction." Reiji offered the folder.

Ayaka took it, tears splashing on the folder in spite of her attempt to hold them back. "Really, I'll be alright in a moment."

Reiji knelt down, placing her hand on the other girl's shoulder gently. "Take your time." She encouraged.

"Thank-you..."

 

* * *

 

"Tohma!!!"

Tohma had time to realize two things. One being that that was Ryuichi's voice. Two being that it came from behind him. As his friend tackled him from behind - sending him sprawling face-first to the floor, he realized one more thing. Which was that Ryuichi had purposefully hidden behind the office door.

"Ryuichi..." The lecture in his tone was obvious, despite the undignified position.

"Am I interrupting anything?" Mika quipped from the doorway.

"Mika!" Ryuichi bounced off Tohma - toward Mika, but she shot out her hand, halting him mid-glomp.

"Don't even think about it." She warned him.

Tohma stood up, brushing himself off with a small smile. Mika was probably one of the only people he knew who could stop Ryuichi like that. "Is there a reason you were hiding in my office, Ryuichi?"

"Reiji's off doing a favor for K. Kuma and I were bored so we thought we'd surprise you." Ryuichi grinned at him over his shoulder. "We know how much you love surprises."

There was nothing Tohma hated more than being taken by surprise. And Ryuichi knew that. He glanced at Ryuichi suspiciously. "Please, tell me you didn't mess with the schedule again."

“You should let your crew go on vacation more often." Ryuichi tormented.

"I give my employees paid vacation. They just have to schedule them in advance. So you didn't mess with my computer."

"The games you have on it are slow and boring." The movie star replied without answering.

"I'm going home." Mika announced. "Keiichi will be awake by now."

"I might be home late." Tohma glanced at Ryuichi before moving forward to kiss Mika on the cheek.

"Why do I get blamed for that?" Ryuichi crossed his arms huffily.

"I'm not waiting up." Mika told Tohma, a small smile flitting across her lips. Then she grew serious again. "By saturday, right?"

"Saturday afternoon. So try not to worry." Tohma assured her. Mika nodded and left.

"What's Saturday afternoon?" Ryuichi asked. Tohma peered over at him thoughtfully, and Ryuichi's look became suspicious. "What are you plotting?"

"Hm… ask me again on Saturday." Tohma replied.

"Now you've really got me worried."

"Let's just say it depends on what I find out about a young man named Nagi."

* * *

 

"Nagi?" Reiji blinked.

"He's the singer in an underground band. Tatsuha's very serious about him. I only met him once, but he seemed nice, if a little tactless."

Reiji frowned. "I guess I was just fangirling again..."

"Pardon?" Ayaka tilted her head to one side, confused by the statement.

"Don't worry about it. Ryuichi mentioned him the other day."

"Tatsuha's quite the fan of Sakuma-san."

"Ryuichi said he's a fan of Nittle Grasper."

"That's how it started. He had a crush on Sakuma a long time. But now that he has Nagi, that seems to be changing."

"Missed opportunity then." Reiji murmured to herself. "Alright, curiosity killed the cat I guess." The young manager waved the subject away. "So, you're going to the movie premiere with Nakano, right?"

"It'll be my first time at a public event with him. It's a little unnerving."

"It'll be second nature in no time. It actually gets boring pretty fast. The same questions. And - in some cases - the same snide remarks and accusations."

"...Like at college today." Ayaka looked down at her plate of food.

"Jealousy is an ugly emotion. Learn to shrug it off. Know your own merit. No one can take it away except you. People shouldn't say ugly things, but they do. When you let that lessen what you have accomplished - that's you denying yourself. Put a stop to that now."

"How old were you when that first happened to you?"

"People attacking me or shrugging it off?"

"Either."

"Father owns a big company. People would always say 'Daddy's money got you this' or 'Daddy's money got you that.' Sometimes it was even true. A good school, a nice car. When they brought it to a personal level - my grades; my accomplishments - it hurt, but that's what they wanted it to do. I was giving them the power. Would some people believe them? Yes. So I had to be confident in myself. I had to know what I accomplished. I had to be proud of what I did no matter what someone else called it. If I knew my own worth, then their words were just words. I think I was ten. Words failing, the physical attack came next. If words couldn't hurt me, they would. That's when father sent me to self defense and weaponry classes. I was probably the only thirteen year old in my school who spent part of her weekend at a shooting range."

"I'm sorry." Ayaka whispered.

"Why? You weren't them."

"The memories must be painful, though."

"Some of them. But what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?"

"I guess."

"Self defense classes wouldn't be a bad idea for you. Not to mention a bodyguard. I'll recommend it to K."

"Can you leave Hiro out of the loop on this one? He'd only worry."

"From what I've seen today, he has a good reason to."

"Today was the first time anything like this happened." Ayaka protested.

Reiji laughed. "Not like that. I mean he has something worth protecting."

 

* * *

 

_Friday..._

Shuichi studied himself in the mirror of the entry hall, before glancing at the clock. He sighed and looked back down the hall at the bedroom. "Yuki! We're going to be late!"

"I hate movies!" Yuki responded, not emerging.

"It's Ryuichi's movie premiere and I promised to be there!"

"So, go already!"

Shuichi pouted. "Yuki!" He whined. "You have to come too!"

Yuki emerged from the room finally, obviously dressed to go, but leaned back against the hallway wall. "Why do I have to go?"

"Because if I tell the reporters that you're at home working on your novel they'll come here and harass you all evening?" Shuichi suggested.

Yuki's eyes narrowed. "That's playing dirty."

Shuichi grinned shamelessly. "Yep!"

Yuki sighed, pushing away from the wall and pulling on the suit jacket he had over one arm. "Whatever. Let's get this over with." He came to the entryway.

Shuichi wrapped his arm around his waist. "Thank-you, Yuki."

"Hn." The blonde's reply was non-committal, but he wrapped an arm around the pop star's shoulders as they exited.

 

* * *

 

"What with the lousy crowd tonight?" Nagi complained as Vendetta exited the stage. "We never have so few people."

Ma-kun and Ken exchanged a glance, but said nothing.

"Why even bother with the closing set?" He whipped the towel off from around his neck and flung it across the hallway.

"Hey, chill man." Ken put in.

"What's the matter, your Kyoto boy-toy not spreading his legs often enough to keep you unwound?" Ma-kun baited.

"Oh, trust me, he spreads them alright." Nagi smirked. "Whenever and however I tell him. What's the matter, Ma-kun? Jealous?"

Ma-kun snorted as they entered the back area of the club off limits to anyone but staff and performers. "If the kid had breasts, he might be worth a tumble. But he doesn't, so I can't say I'm even remotely curious."

"Kid's got talents you wish half your girlfriends had." Nagi bragged. "And no flowers or candlelight dinners necessary."

"I happen to like candlelight dinners. Sets the mood." Ma-kun retorted, not paying attention to the group of club workers huddled around a tv in one section of the room as they headed toward where the dressing rooms were. "The way you talk it sounds like you plan on keeping him. I thought you had other plans."

"Oh, I do." Nagi told him. "Doesn't mean I can't have lots of fun in the meantime. Only gives me more ammunition for later. Little temple boy has a big mouth. I know all sorts of juicy tidbits to use against his family."

"So, why don't you do it already?" Ma-kun demanded.

"Don't seem right to keep stringing the kid along." Ken added.

“Idiot! That's the point!" Nagi snapped at the brunette. "To have him so wrapped around my finger it devastates him to learn he's been had." He froze, spotting something on the television before he could enter the dressing room. His eyes narrowed as he recognized Tatsuha among the crowd shown on the television.

"Welcome back." The announcer took over the screen. "Stars are still arriving. We're a few minutes away from the big premiere of Sakuma Ryuichi's new movie. Ah, here comes Nakano Hiroshi and his girlfriend Usami Ayaka. Nakano-san, a word!"

"Hello." Hiroshi grinned at the reporter and the camera. Beside him, Ayaka was a little wide-eyed, but smiling. The crowd shouted and screamed the two's names.

"This is your first big event with someone at your side, isn't it Nakano-san? Usami-san, I must say you look beautiful tonight. What a handsome couple!"

"Thank-you." Ayaka blushed despite her make-up.

"Are you looking forward to the movie tonight?"

"Yes, it's exciting to be here." Hiroshi nodded.

"It's a bit nostalgic in a way. As Hiroshi and my first date was at the movies." Ayaka put in.

"Really? What a wonderful thing this must be then! I hope you enjoy the movie."

"Thank-you." Hiroshi and Ayaka said together.

Some screaming drew the reporter away from the couple. "Oh, ladies and gentlemen, it seems Shindo Shuichi and Yuki Eiri have arrived. Shindo-san! Yuki-san! A word!"

Nagi snarled and snatched the remote up, shutting the tv off.

"Hey!"

"What are you doing!"

"Are you nuts??" The workers complained.

"Shouldn't you be doing your job instead?" Nagi snarled back, slamming into the dressing room. Ma-kun and Ken were left with the agitated club workers.

"Sorry, he's just moody." Ken tried to apologize.

"What a nutjob!" One worker turned the tv set back on manually.

"Yah, why don't you keep him on a leash?" Another worker snapped. "Oh, man!" She complained, seeing Yuki and Shuichi break off a kiss on the television screen. "Now we missed the best part!"

Ma-kun and Ken retreated to the dressing room.

 

* * *

 

The crowd was still screaming over Yuki and Shuichi's kiss when Suguru arrived. Having stepped farther back in the crowd to avoid being seen by his brother, Tatsuha was still chuckling over the antics the two always managed to pull. Both on each other, and their fans. He sent a quick text his brother's way, saying he was shameless and that every news station had covered the kiss. Eiri would assume he'd been watching on tv, like everyone else. He'd thought of doing that, but fandom had won out. He hadn't seen Ryuichi in person in a long time.

"Fujisaki-san!" The reporter waved. "I see you've come as well. It's an all Bad Luck event! Are you excited to be here?"

"I've heard the movie's gotten rave reviews." Suguru replied. "I'm looking forward to seeing it myself.

"I see you're all alone, Fujisaki-san." The reporter mentioned slyly. "Now that Nakano-san is taken, I guess that means you get sole rights in Bad Luck to being among the music industries most eligible bachelors, eh?"

Unused to this line of questioning in regards to himself, Suguru felt his face heat in a blush. "Um, well..."

Screaming drew the reporter away, and Suguru stepped away gratefully.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Seguchi Tohma and his wife have just arrived. Seguchi-san! Seguchi-san! Spare us a few words, will you?"

Tatsuha took advantage of Tohma's arrival to slip over to stand near Suguru. "Very smooth, Cos." He tormented.

Suguru glanced back, surprised. "Tatsuha?" Although cousins only by marriage, Tatsuha had always used the familiar slang to address him. The only one he ever remembered doing so. "What are you doing hiding in the crowd? Couldn't convince Seguchi-san to give you tickets?"

Tatsuha shrugged. "I never asked." He admitted. "I was thinking of sitting it out, but I couldn't."

"Sit it out? Sakuma's movie premiere? Do you have a fever?"

Tatsuha rolled his eyes. "No, I have a boyfriend." He was surprised he didn't trip over the confession.

"So? You always have someone." Suguru shrugged, obviously not understanding the importance of the words.

"You don't understand. I have… a boyfriend." Tatsuha stressed.

Suguru blinked. Tatsuha could practically see him making the calculations in his mind. Weighing the chances that he was cracking a joke against the chances he was serious. "A serious boyfriend?" He asked, double-checking the conclusion he'd come to.

"Yep." Tatsuha nodded. Aside from Ayaka, Suguru was the first person he'd truly confessed to. His father and he had danced around the subject. Come Sunday, it would be the same with Mika and Tohma. Saying it without saying it. Once they'd met Nagi, provided his and Nagi's relationship survived dinner with his family, Mika or Tohma would no doubt tell Eiri. Who would call to confirm it was true. So his next confession would be to his brother. Suguru, he decided, was both good practice, and someone he could count on to be discreet and not gossip about it.

"So, what - he doesn't like Sakuma Ryuichi? If that's true, it'll never last."

Tatsuha frowned, not at all pleased with the reply. Who did he think he was? He didn't even know the first thing about Nagi and him! "Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"C'mon, you're nuts about Sakuma Ryuichi. I'd think anyone you get serious with would have to share that."

"I don't know what Nagi thinks of Ryuichi. We haven't talked about him. I know his favorite singer is himself."

"He sings?"

"He's the lead singer in an underground club."

Suguru's nose wrinkled in distaste, and Tatsuha fought the urge to roll his eyes. He liked Suguru a lot, actually. Between their collective family, the other youth probably had sole claim to being the most sane member. That probably didn't say a lot for either of their families, actually, but it was true. It was also true that when it came to music, Fujisaki Suguru was a snob.

"One of the top underground bands in Tokyo. Their music is too dark for mainstream, but their talent is mainstream."

"If you say so." Suguru shrugged. "I'd have to judge for myself. Is that why he couldn't make it?"

Tatsuha nodded. "He had a performance" He himself had a ceremony in Tokyo that afternoon, and had actually left his hotel room information on Nagi's phone. He might see him later that night, or the singer might just crash after the show. Especially if Vendetta had an afternoon performance on Saturday.

"Well, bring him to the studio sometime." Suguru told him.

Tatsuha nodded, backing into the crowd, noticing Noriko had arrived during his conversation with Suguru. He was surprised he'd missed it. Maybe he really was growing out of his fascination with Nittle Grasper? He'd never grow out of their music - that could never lose its power to him. But perhaps...

"Oh my gosh, ladies and gentlemen, Ryuichi Sakuma has just arrived!"

The crowd was deafening around him. The reporter was still speaking into her microphone, but you could no longer hear what she was saying. Tatsuha watched as Ryuichi stepped out of the limousine, and his heart sped up at the sight. It was the same feeling as always. His heart hammering in his chest, a smile coming unbidden to his face. He couldn't quite make out what he was saying as he talked with the reporter. Something about not being able to give away the end of the movie. He winked, and the crowd screamed louder.

Tatsuha was silent, though, and he backed away - allowing others to surge forward to get a better view. A part of him thought he'd react differently. If he was serious about Nagi, why was he still affected by Ryuichi? Tatsuha turned and moved through the crowd - away from the theatre. He'd never said Nagi had eclipsed Ryuichi's place in his heart. It was simply that Nagi was someone who could be a part of his life. Where as the movie star still remained somewhat unreachable. But the thought of Nagi's smirk, his voice, his touch - that made his heart race too. He'd never been serious with anyone like he was with Nagi, and he wasn't bored either. He looked forward to seeing him. It made his day - or occasionally his night.

Confused and torn, he headed back to his hotel room. He needed to think.

 

* * *

 

Ryuichi blew a kiss to the crowd, scanning their ranks again. For a moment he thought he'd seen Tatsuha. Which wouldn't be surprising, since the youth had come to countless performances and interviews before. But he'd been gone for awhile. Two - Two and a half years. He wasn't sure he'd come. Apparently Reiji hadn't sent him the ticket, after all. He thought he might send his young manager to snitch him out of the crowd and give him that ticket to the premiere, but the next time he looked, the youth was gone.

He doubted himself for a moment. Perhaps it hadn't been him? But, no, he'd seen his eyes. Seen the way he watched the crowd. It had definitely been Tatsuha.

Ryuichi found the way other people watched things fascinating. It told a lot about the person.

Shuichi watched the world almost like a child did. He wasn't a child, even though he was still occasionally naive, but he somehow kept that feeling of awe and wonder that people associated with children. He watched like every moment was magical. In some ways, he envied that.

Tohma watched the world like a chessmaster watched a chess match. Calculating every move made. Weighing it against what he would do in their place. Most would assume it was boring to watch like that. But chessmasters still enjoyed chess, and Tohma still enjoyed watching the world. Just in a different way than anyone else.

Noriko watched like a mother. Even before her daughter, she had. She watched protectively - ready to strike out if she was needed. And she watched with the same nurturing amusement of someone listening to their child explain the amazing new knowledge they'd learned - even though they already knew whatever it was they were explaining. He'd always liked the way Noriko watched.

Tatsuha… Tatsuha watched the world like a director watched a movie or stage play. As if he knew far more about its inner workings than anyone else. Knew exactly why the stage lights were dimmed during Act III. Or why the camera had focused on a cup in Scene Three. Sometime he watched approvingly - like a director who agreed that the cup should have been focused on. And sometimes he watched disapprovingly - like it was stupid to have dimmed the lights when something important was happening. But always he watched with a feeling of knowing.

Some found it cocky - especially since he was so young. But Ryuichi had always found it fascinating. How did he know that the cup represented the destroyed party? Just what knowledge did he possess that made the world so transparent to him? And how did he manage to enjoy the show anyway?

Tatsuha had always been so determined to maintain a good image around him, it had been hard to poke answers from him. He'd caught him off-guard a few times, and always enjoyed those conversations the best. He would have been interested in spending more time with him, but Mika had intervened. Tatsuha had a crush on him, and the more time he spent with him, the more it would feel like encouragement.

In one way, he respected Mika's request. She wanted to protect her brother from heartbreak. She always wanted to protect the people she cared about. Mika watched the world like a samurai. Ready to fight anyone or anything to protect what mattered most to her.

But he wondered if it backfired on her sometimes. With Tatsuha, he wondered if she was protecting him from the wrong thing. Sooner or later, everyone had their heartbroken. And not unlike with some illnesses, the older you were the harder it was to recover from. Certain he understood the way the world worked, protected from heartbreak by his siblings, Ryuichi wondered if Tatsuha would survive his first heartbreak.

_To Be Continued..._


	10. Chapter 10

The bruises were ugly in the morning light. Purple and green, and sore to the touch. Tatsuha studied them as sunlight began to brighten the hotel room more and more. Check-out was noon. He had yet to move from the bed.

Despite his confusion after seeing Ryuichi, he'd been excited when Nagi showed up the previous evening, but...

* * *

 

  
Forceful kisses, almost too harsh. Hands squeezing too hard.

"Ouch. Nagi, calm down. I'm not going anywhere." Trying to lighten the strangely dark mood.

Being shoved back against the wall, hard enough to really hurt. Not just strong desire; something more like anger. "Shut up."

* * *

 

It wasn't as if he hadn't gotten into fights before. Heck, he used to try to beat up Eiri's bullies on a regular basis, despite height, weight, and age differences. And he'd had his share of scraps in upper secondary too. So bruises weren't a new experience. Weren't even all that painful, but...

He was in shock, he realized, still staring at the marks on his arms. He laughed then, though it sounded strained and slightly hysterical. He hadn't been in a fight. Nagi had caused the bruises. What the heck? Lovers didn't do that to each other. Not like this. He'd slept around enough to know. And it wasn't as if this was some one night stand. This was Nagi. He was supposed to introduce him to his family the next day.

"He's not even here, the jerk. He does this and then takes off? What the hell??" He picked up the nearest thing and flung it across the room. It slammed into the wall with a loud thunk. The TV clicked on. Apparently he'd thrown the controller.

"Of course, it opens in theatres throughout Japan today. Last night was the premiere in Tokyo. It was a star-studded event. From actors and actresses to some of the hottest names in the music scene." Morning news. Pictures of the premiere the previous evening played across the screen. "And, of course, the stars themselves."

"Are you excited to be here tonight, Sakuma-san?" A reporter asked the singer turned movie star.

"I'm super excited to be able to watch my movie debut in my home country. And I definitely appreciate the continued support of my fans from here."

"Won't you tell us what your favorite scene to film was?"

"I wish I could, but I can't give away the end of the film. Can I?" Ryuichi winked at the crowd.

The morning reporter reappeared on the screen. "The film has gotten rave reviews, and is expected to be no 1 at the box office this weekend. After a short break, we'll be bringing you the weather.

The screen changed to a short clip of Ryuichi's movie. He was holding a cup of coffee. "Do you really love him that much?" He asked. "That you'd go back to him, even though he hurt you? But if he really loves you, then why would he hurt you? How can that be the actions of someone in love?"

Tatsuha's eyes widened, then he stumbled out of the bed to slam the off button. Tears filled his eyes and he sunk to the floor. "I am in love with him. I'm in love with Nagi." He pressed a hand to his face. "But if he loved me back, then… but if he doesn't, that's worse. Cuz then I'll be all alone..."

 

* * *

 

The phone rang. The form on the bed, buried below a mountain of blankets, grumbled. Then a hand snaked out to pick up the phone receiver and drag it under the covers. "Yes?"

"Good morning, sir. It's ten 'o clock, and this is your wake-up call."

"...great, thanks." The voice sounded anything but grateful.

"Um, your welcome."

The hand reached out to put the receiver back on the phone, then snaked back under the covers. The form didn't move.

The phone rang.

Another set of grumbles, and the hand snaked out again - dragging the receiver back under the covers. "Yes?"

"Good morning, sir. It's ten o-two, and this is your wake-up call."

"You already called."

"Oh! There seems to have been a repeat. I'm sorry, sir."

"That's fine." The hand reached out to hang the phone up, then snaked back under the bedcovers. The form made no move to get up.

A minute passed. Two. The phone rang.

With a growl, the hand reached out to drag the entire phone under the covers. "Hello?"

"Good morning, sir, it's ten o-four and-"

"You already called me!"

"Um...I'm sorry, sir. But you were listed for another wake-up call."

"How many times am I on that list?"

"Um...thirty-two times."

"Great, do me a favor and erase everything but the thirty-second time."

"Our pleasure, sir."

The form made no more movements. Not even to return the phone to the night stand.

A minute passed. Two. The phone rang.

"Aargh! I thought I told you to erase those wake-up calls!"

"Yah, I figured you would. You lazy bum. That's why I'm calling. The time bomb I hooked to your bed is due to go off at ten o eight, though. So if I were you, I'd get up."

"Yah, yah… time bomb??" The covers were thrown aside and the phone and Kumagoro were thrown from the bed before Ryuichi leaped himself. "Banzai!"

The bed exploded into pieces.

Ryuichi crawled through the debris to pick up the phone receiver. "You're a sadistic manager, Reiji."

Reiji's laugh was the first response. "Up now?"

"Like I had a choice??"

"It's all in your best interest."

"How is blowing up my bed in my best interest?"

"Can the Pop Diva attitude and get dressed. We have to catch the Shinkansen."

Ryuichi yawned and flopped onto his back. "Newsflash, Manager. The Shinkansen runs 24/7. What's the big rush?"

"We have a dinner engagement with the producer and the director."

"Oh, the numbskull and the pompous ass?"

"Have you been reading my files again? I warned you about that."

"Y'know, your computer is almost as boring as Tohma's. Though at least you have minesweeper."

"Hey! Did you play minesweeper on my laptop? You better not have beat my score!"

"I beat all three!"

"What?! It took me six hours to get that score on medium!"

Ryuichi picked up Kumagoro and held the bunny close to the phone. "Ne? Ne? Reiji-chan." He made him speak. "Where are we going for dinner?"

"Some little restaurant in Kyoto. I let the producer pick.... hey - don't think you can make me forget about those scores!"

"Oh, Kyo..." Ryuichi stopped. He'd dropped Kumagoro's voice when he repeated the city name. "Kyoto?"

"Yah, apparently here in Japan that's where all the hot-shot movie people hang out. Go figure. I'll pick you up in half an hour. Be ready… and I'm erasing those scores, you prick!"

Ryuichi set the receiver back on the phone slowly. He looked thoughtful as he brought Kumagoro up to his face. "Say, Kumagoro, do you know what's in Kyoto? ...well, yes, the Iwatayama Monkey Park is there. But do you know who lives in Kyoto? ...yep! Tatsuha does. And when you visit where a friend lives you should get together and hang out, right? That's a good idea, Kumagoro. Maybe he would like to got to the Iwatayama Monkey Park with us..."

 

* * *

 

"Isn't Bad Luck supposed to be putting in extra studio time?" Ayaka teased Hiro as they climbed off his bike in front of her apartment building.

"Sh! K might have installed listening devices. He'll remember he didn't mean to give us the day off." Hiro spoke in a whisper.

Ayaka paused, then giggled as they entered the building. "When you say things like that, sometimes I'm not sure you're joking."

"Believe me, when it comes to K, sometimes I'm not sure I'm joking." Hiro replied.

Ayaka grinned. "So… I had fun at the premiere last night. And the hotel room they booked for me was really beautiful."

"I'm glad."

"I don't really need anything so extravagant next time, though. It must have been very expensive."

"I don't know. I kinda left those details up to the management." Hiro admitted as they boarded the elevator and Ayaka hit her floor number. He froze, though - struck by a thought. 'I told K I needed a hotel room… oh, man. I bet he totally got the wrong idea.'

"It was really huge, big enough for two..." Ayaka trailed off, then blushed and looked at the wall. "So… at the premiere." She quickly changed the subject. "I had lots of fun."

"Me too..." Hiro was blushing as well as the elevator opened.

"Do you want to come in? I can make… lunch..." Ayaka trailed off. Police tape was blocking off the hallway. A crowd of onlookers had gathered, whispering as they tried to get a look inside. She ran forward. "Excuse me, please let me through."

"Whoa, there, Miss." A police officer held her back. "This is a crime scene. There appears to be vandalism."

"But that's my apartment."

"What's going on?" Another officer came over.

"The owner of the apartment has returned, sir."

The other officer studied Ayaka, then Hiro as he came up. "Go ahead and let them through."

The entire place was trashed. Every breakable object had been broken. TV screen and windows smashed. Pillows were torn; posters and pictures slashed. Her computer looked like someone had literally hacked it to pieces. Some sort of smoke seemed to be coming from the bedroom. All over the walls words had been scrawled and spray painted. One wall held a single kanji. 'Die.'

'That's mild by comparison to other fans, though.' Tatsuha's words from the evening he and Nagi drove her home replayed in her mind. 'So be really careful until this blows over.'

Tears welled up in Ayaka's eyes and her legs collapsed from under her. Hiro caught her, kneeling slowly so she wouldn't have to stand. She turned to bury her face in his chest, unable to look at the tattered remains of her apartment anymore. Hiro held her, his face grim.

The officer who had given the order to let them in gave them a sympathetic look before turning back to the job at hand.

 

* * *

 

"Good afternoon, Seguchi-san." Tohma's secretary greeted him as he headed towards his office. "Getting a few hours of work in before leaving for Kyoto?"

"There are a few matters I have to take care of today." Tohma told her.

"Of course. The file you requested is on your desk."

"Thank-you."

Tohma hung up his coat and hat before going to his desk, noting the file on it. He turned on his computer first, taking a sip of the tea that sat waiting for him. As the computer booted up he picked up the folder casually, flipping it open.

The tea cup crashed to the floor a moment later. Tohma stared at the file in shock only a moment more before he ran to grab his coat.

The secretary opened the door worriedly. "Sir, is everything-?"

"I'm sorry for the mess, please clean it up." Tohma ordered over his shoulder.

 

* * *

 

"Mika! Seguchi-san is on the phone."

Mika turned from where she was watching Keiichi play in a playpen. "Tohma's calling?" She frowned.

* * *

  
Tohma glanced at the time on his car clock. It read 4:08. "So Tatsuha still hasn't returned?"

* * *

  
Mika paced the kitchen of the Uesugi family home in Kyoto. "No. Father said he planned to stay overnight after the ceremony yesterday. But he had to have checked out of his hotel room hours ago."

"He did. I already checked."

"Tohma, what's going on? Does this have to do with Nagi?"

"I'll explain everything later, I promise. Call me if he shows up, alright?"

Mika scowled when Tohma hung up. Hanging up herself she went back to her room, pulling her own cellphone out of her purse. There was two missed calls from Tohma. She'd set it on vibrate earlier so not to disturb Keiichi's nap. Tohma had tried to reach her on her cellphone first, before resorting to calling the house phone. What could be so important?

She dialed a number, waiting. It rang through to a message.

"Yah, you've reached my voicemail. Since I'm clearly too busy to talk right now, leave a message." Tatsuha's voice told her.

"Tatsuha, it's Mika. Keiichi and I are at the temple. Where are you? Call me back, you little trouble maker."

She hung up, but held onto the phone. 'I don't know who you are, Nagi, but if you hurt my little brother...'

 

* * *

 

"Coffee?" The officer offered Hiro a cup.

"Thanks." Hiro took it gratefully. They were at the police station. Ayaka was in a room filling out reports, and he was stuck waiting outside.

"Hiroshi Nakano, right?" When Hiro glanced over at him, he chuckled. "My kid listens to your music. How's she doing?"

"Not too good." Hiro admitted. "I've actually never seen her cry like that. I once watched her break her own heart with a smile on her face."

"She pretty much just lost everything she owned. Whoever did this was thorough. She's a smart lady, so it was all insured. But money really isn't a consolation. I'm sure some of it was irreplaceable to her."

"I feel like a piece of shit. This is all my fault."

"How do you figure that?"

"My fans did this." His hands tightened on the cup.

"Would you give up anything for her?"

"Huh?" Hiro looked up at him. "Of course I would!"

"Then don't be an idiot." When Hiro looked at him blankly, the officer chuckled. "You didn't ask anyone to do this. And you didn't do it yourself, so it's not your fault. Guilt trips aren't going to do either of you any good. You being here is how she's getting through this. So don't fall apart now."

"You're probably right. But it doesn't make it easier."

"Years ago, my wife was shot at due to a case I was working on. I beat myself up for it until someone smacked me over the head for it and told me what I just told you."

Hiro looked at him in surprise, then grew thoughtful. "Love is worth any price, huh?"

"I've always thought so."

"...want an autograph for your kid?"

"Are you kidding? He's got like ten. I don't understand why he needs more than one, but what can you say? Kids these days." He offered a grin before adding, "She have someplace to stay tonight?"

"I hadn't even thought about that." Hiro admitted.

"There's a phonebook over there if you want to look up hotels. You'll also want to get her a few changes of clothes. Until she can see if anything in her closet survived."

"Hey." Hiro called when the officer started off. He glanced back, and Hiro offered a smile. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it." He headed off and Hiro went over to look at the phonebook.

 

* * *

 

The phone rang a few times before Shuichi picked it up. "Hello? Shindo Shuichi."

"Shuichi, is Eiri there? He isn't picking up his cellphone."

"Huh? Seguchi-san? He probably turned it off again and left it in his office."

"What's with Uesugis and not answering their phone? I even had to call the house phone to get Mika." Tohma sounded exasperated. "Can I talk to Eiri?"

"He's kind of cooking dinner. Hey! Why do you need to talk to Yuki anyhow?" Shuichi grew suspicious. "You're plotting against us again, aren't you? I knew these past few months were too good to be true!" He started to get hysterical. "Well, I don't care what evil plot you have going -!"

"Shuichi! This isn't about you and Eiri! It's about Tatsuha!" Tohma shouted to be heard over Shuichi's words.

"Huh? Tatsuha?" Shuichi instantly calmed down. "What about him?"

Tohma sighed. "Can I please talk to Eiri?"

"What's going on??" Eiri demanded from the doorway.

"Seguchi wants to talk to you about Tatsuha." Shuichi told him.

Yuki took the phone. "What's my idiot brother done now?"

"Tatsuha hasn't done anything. In fact, I'm worried he's the one in danger." Tohma told him. "Have you talked to him lately?"

"No, actually. He didn't even force himself in over here for a chance to see your idiot bandmate's movie..." Yuki paused. "Actually, now that I think about it that's more than weird. That's completely unlike him. What's going on?"

"He became seriously involved with someone, apparently."

"'Seriously involved' and 'Tatsuha' are a contradiction. But I'll bite, why does that put him in danger? He dating some psychotic axe murderer?"

"He's dating Taki Aizawa."

Yuki froze, his eyes narrowing. "Tohma, if this is a joke, you're going too far."

"I wish it was. But it's not. Given Tatsuha and your identical appearance, I don't believe for one moment Taki got involved with him for legitimate reasons. It must be some sort of plan to get revenge."

"Alright. I take it you have a counter plan."

"When don't I?" Tohma's smile was cold. "Tatsuha was bringing Taki to a family lunch with your father, Mika, and I tomorrow."

"What? He was bringing him to meet the old man? Are you serious?" Yuki demanded.

"Luckily for all of us, Mika's protective streak kicked in. And she asked me to look up this guy Tatsuha wanted to meet the family. Mika and I can handle breaking the news to Tatsuha tomorrow that "Nagi" - Taki's new stagename - won't be coming. But you and I need to have a chat with Aizawa tonight."

"Not your best plan. But since it's only Aizawa, it should work." Yuki stated. "I take it you know where to find him."

"Vendetta, previously known as ASK, will be playing at an underground club in Tokyo tonight. If we hurry, we can crash their performance."

 

* * *

 

"Are you sure you don't want to just spend the evening at your parents?" Hiro asked as he and Ayaka walked through a hotel corridor. They both held shopping bags.

"I'm absolutely sure." Ayaka told him.

"What did they say on the phone?"

"They're worried about me, but I told them I'd be fine."

"...they blame me, don't they?"

"..." Ayaka didn't look at him as she slid the keycard and entered the hotel room.

"I'm okay with that." Hiro followed her, setting the bags down and closing the door. "As your parents-"

"I'm not okay with it!" Ayaka shouted at him. "And you shouldn't be either! It isn't your fault! They had no right to say that!"

Hiro glanced away. "Even so… this moment only exists because you're with me."

"That's why I'm okay with it." Ayaka whispered, lowering her head for a moment. "If this is the price for loving you, then I'll gladly pay it." She raised her head, and her eyes were fierce even though tears were streaming down her face. "I'll pay it a hundred times over!"

Hiro's eyes widened, then he reached out to pull her to him - capturing her mouth with his own. Ayaka wrapped her arms around his neck, surrendering to the kiss. It deepened, Hiro's tongue slipping gently into her mouth. She shivered at the feeling.

His arms slid down to rest on her waist and she pressed closer, feeling the heat of his body through his clothing. Hiro broke the kiss, nuzzling her neck. "Ayaka." He whispered. "I should go."

"Stay." She whispered, closing her eyes and tightening her hold on his neck.

"I don't want to take advantage of you."

"Maybe I want to be taken advantage of." A blush burned across her cheeks, but she didn't let go of him. "Stay."

Hiro kissed her again, then slowly drew back. "I'll stay. But this isn't happening tonight." He told her gently.

"You think I'd regret it?" Ayaka asked him slowly, watching him.

"Maybe, but I know I'd never forgive myself." He pressed his lips to her forehead gently. "They'll be another night."

"Promise?" Ayaka leaned her head on his shoulder.

Hiro smiled as he leaned his head against hers. "Absolutely."

 

* * *

 

Tatsuha had checked himself out of his hotel room five minutes to noon. He'd spent the rest of the day riding around Tokyo. He'd ignored a call from Mika and two calls from Tohma. He wasn't ready to talk to either of them. Not until he knew what he was going to tell them. And to know that, he had to talk to Nagi.

Vendetta played at a club that night. He'd catch Nagi before the show. What happened next depended on the singer. Would he be calling Mika to tell her lunch was canceled? The thought made his heart twist in his chest, but he couldn't simply ignore what had happened the previous evening. He needed to know why Nagi had treated him like that. He ignored the voice inside asking why he'd let him. He'd cross that bridge later.

Night had fallen when he pulled alongside the curb of the nightclub, recognizing a van parked there as belonging to Vendetta. He headed down the side alley, pausing when he saw Nagi and his bandmates sitting behind the club. They were whispering about something. Ma-kun looked unhappy, and Ken looked worried. For a moment his resolve faltered, then he pressed his lips into a thin line. He had to do this. "Nagi."

The group turned. Nagi eyed him speculatively, and Ma-kun's eyes narrowed. "Look who's here, Nagi." He stressed the singer's name in an odd way

Nagi shot him a glare before standing. His trade-mark smirk sliding across his lips. "Tatsuha."

"We have to talk." Tatsuha told him.

"We have a show tonight. Can it wait until after?"

"No."

"That's fine." Ma-kun stood up. "Ken and I can hook up the instruments."

"Uh, yah. Okay." Ken was more than happy to follow the blonde into the club through the backdoor.

"So, what's up?" Nagi approached him. "I thought we had plans for tomorrow. Missing me already?"

"Don't you play dumb." Tatsuha scowled. Nagi's eyes narrowed. "I want to know what the hell was up with last night!"

"You'll have to be more specific."

"You want specifics? How's this?" Tatsuha pulled down his leather jacket to reveal the bruises on one arm. "I'm not your fucking punching bag, Nagi! If you're upset about something you don't take it out on me!" Nagi seemed to hesitate, watching him. "Well? Cat got your tongue?"

Nagi looked away, not meeting his eyes. "Okay. Truth? I was jealous."

Tatsuha paused. "Jealous? Of what?"

"I saw you on tv."

"Huh? When was I on tv?" He was confused, some of the fire left his stance.

"Standing outside the premiere to Ryuichi Sakuma's new movie. I saw it between sets at the club." Nagi told him. He looked over, his eyes narrowing. "I'm your fucking boyfriend, right? So how come that movie was more important than my gig?"

Tatsuha hesitated. Because he'd loved Ryuichi first. That was the truth. 'Shit, he had the right to be jealous. Because I still love Ryuichi.'

"Cat got your tongue?" Nagi turned his earlier words back on him.

Tatsuha pulled his jacket back up. He didn't look at Nagi, but up at the sky when he spoke. "A year ago… no, three months ago, and I'd have told you that movie premiere was the most important thing because I was totally in love with Ryuichi Sakuma."

Nagi watched him carefully. "But not now? What changed?"

"I met you." Tatsuha still wasn't facing him, so he missed the triumphant smile that slid across Nagi's face.

"And?" He came closer. "Are you saying you fell out of love with him?"

"I'm saying… I chose you. You're here. You can be a part of my life. I want that."

"So, I'm still invited to lunch, right?" Nagi stepped up behind him, sliding one arm around his waist.

"I guess you are." Tatsuha rested on hand on the one on his waist. "But Nagi, if last night ever happens again-"

"It won't."

"How do I know that?"

"Why didn't you stop me last night?"

"...I didn't want to be alone."

"So." Nagi turned him to face him, bringing their faces close together. "What you're saying is..."

"You're going to make me say it, aren't you?"

Nagi chuckled. "Say it? I want to hear you scream it. Tonight, after the concert. You're staying, right?"

"Will you kiss me already?"

"Say the right words."

"I'm..." Tatsuha pressed his mouth to his. "All..." He nibbled at his lips, arms sliding around his neck. "Yours..."

Nagi's mouth descended on his in a fierce kiss. Hot and demanding. He opened his mouth obligingly, only vaguely aware of footsteps behind them.

"Aizawa!"

"Tatsuha!"

He broke the kiss, startled, turning Nagi and his positions so he could stare bewildered at the group at the end of the alley. "Eiri? Tohma? Shuichi?? What the heck?"

"Tatsuha." Yuki's eyes pierced his. "Get away from him right now."

"Um, what?" Tatsuha tried to process what was going on. He'd just fought and made up with Nagi, and his mind had been set on a very pleasant evening. How had his brother - and brother-in-laws - entered the equation?

Tohma focused a deadly glare on Nagi. "Taki." He greeted him.

"Huh?" Tatsuha now felt even more confused. "Who's-"

Nagi chuckled. "Seguchi. It's been awhile. I'm a bit surprised to see you here. I thought your protective streak was strictly for Yuki Eiri."

"What?" He turned, only partially aware of stepping out of Nagi's embrace. "Nagi, what's going on? You never mentioned knowing-"

"Don't fret, Tats." Nagi chucked him under the chin. "You'll understand in a moment."

Yuki was suddenly between them, shoving Nagi back. "Keep your fucking hands off my brother."

Nagi maintained his balance. He didn't even seem angry about being shoved. Instead, he was chuckling. "It's a bit late for that, Eiri. There isn't a piece of him I haven't touched."

Tatsuha felt his face heat in a blush at the words, but he couldn't find his voice to protest them. A cold feeling began to settle into his stomach. A half-realization beginning to set in.

"That's enough, Aizawa." Tohma stepped forward as well. "Whatever game you were playing - it's over."

"You're right, it is. A day ahead of schedule. I almost like this set up more. Though it is a shame I didn't get one more night with the kid. He's a pretty good fuck."

"You were using me." Tatsuha glowered at him, trying to ignore the pain seeping through him. Tears stung his eyes. "You know Eiri and Tohma. You were using me all along."

"Poor little temple boy." Nagi smirked. "So naive. Of course I was. You didn't honestly think anyone could want you for you?"

Tatsuha's breath caught at his words, and he lowered his head to hide his face behind his hair. "Damn you..."

He felt someone take his arm. "Don't listen to him, Tatsuha." Shuichi whispered urgently.

"That does it." Yuki stepped forward. "You want a taste of what I gave you bandmate last time?"

Nagi chuckled. "Gonna beat me up for hurting your little brother? Even though he resents you?"

Tatsuha's head shot up - his eyes widening in realization. 'No… oh, no...'

"Tatsuha would never-" Yuki began.

"But he does." Nagi cut him off. "He resents looking like you. Hates constantly being compared to you. He's raving jealous of you. Don't believe me? Just look at his face."

Yuki slowly turned to look at him, Feeling wracked with guilt, Tatsuha couldn't meet his brother's questioning gaze.

"Stop it, Aizawa." Tohma ordered.

"Still feeling protective, Seguchi. Or is it more like guilt?"

"You think anything you say can hurt me?" Tohma smiled. "I'll have to disappoint you."

"But they aren't my words. They're his."

"Nagi, don't!" The words ripped from his throat. Tatsuha looked at him pleadingly, but Nagi only gave him a cold look before finishing.

"He's the one who said he blamed you for the destruction of his family."

Tatsuha yanked from Shuichi's grip and ran back up the alley to his motorcycle. Nagi's laughter followed him. Even the roar of his motorcycle couldn't seem to drown it from his ears. Tears flowed down his cheeks, blurring his vision - but he kept driving anyway. He had to get away from what he'd done. From the painful reality of what had just happened. But the pain didn't diminish at all. With each second it only seemed to grow worse.

 

Tohma's stillness was the only indication that the words had affected him. For anyone who knew him, though, it spoke volumes.

Taki laughed as he watched his ex-producer freeze and Tatsuha run away. He was silenced when a fist smashed into his jaw - sending him sprawling. He looked up to find Shuichi standing over him. "I thought you were pathetic trying to use Yuki against me. But this is even worse. To use Tatsuha, who's only crime is to be related to the people involved. I don't think it's even possible to get any lower than that."

"Say whatever you want." He pushed himself up onto one arm. "I won this time."

"Won? That's what it's all about to you, isn't it? You don't get it at all. You haven't won anything." Shuichi looked down at him. "We'll get through this. You're the one who's going to be all alone in the end. Enjoy it." He walked away, taking Yuki's arm. "Yuki, let's go." He tugged him back up the way they'd come.

Tohma finally moved as well, following them. He paused at the end of the alley, to look back at Taki - who was frowning. "You don't seem to feel quite so victorious, Aizawa. Maybe you're starting to realize this wasn't much of a win after all? You should think about what Shuichi said. I really couldn't have put it better myself." He turned away, then paused again. "Oh, and Aizawa, regardless of what conclusions you come to in the future - stay away from Tatsuha." He turned a chilled smile on the singer. "There won't be a third chance." With that, the head of NG headed back up the alley, leaving Taki alone.

_To Be Continued..._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I packed a lot into this chapter, didn't I? And I was mean to pretty much everyone. I hope that made this chapter intense to read, and that you aren't all mad and throwing things at me. (Ducks just in case) I also realize I had a lot of swearing in this chapter. Haha... Maybe I need to make this M rated? LOL It just seemed so natural while I wrote it...
> 
> So, we're finally getting somewhere. Tatsuha has had his first heartbreak, Ayaka and Hiro are getting through the rough spots of romance in the public. And - just in case you forgot amongst everything happening - Ryuichi and Reiji are now in Kyoto! Yep! So that means Ryuichi and Tatsuha are going to be running into each other very soon!


	11. Chapter 11

The baby giggled happily, reaching up to try to grab the spinning toys of the mobile above his crib. The nursery room was spacious, and toys littered the floors and walls. Tohma leaned over the crib, reaching a hand in to tap the baby's nose. "Good evening, Keiichi."

The baby reached up, and his tiny fist wrapped around his tie, which had slipped over the edge of the crib. He then proceeded to yank on it.

"Ack!" Tohma's arms pinwheeled for a moment. "Keiichi, let-"

A woman's hand took ahold of the upper portion of the tie, alleviating the pressure around his neck. "I keep telling you to take the tie off first." Mika lectured as she proceeded to pry the tie from their baby son's grasp. Keiichi began to cry and she picked him up - shooting Tohma a half-hearted glare. "You woke him up again."

"I keep telling you, he's already awake every time." Tohma removed the tie, setting it aside.

"That's all I need. Two Segucih's with insomnia." She sat down on a nearby chair to bounce Keiichi on her knee.

Tohma watched them for a moment. "Did you speak with your father?"

"Tatsuha hasn't left the house and temple grounds at all this week, except for ceremonies. Father says he's been subdued, but that's all he'll say."

"A broken heart takes time to mend." Tohma looked away from them.

Tatsuha had called Uesugi to tell him Nagi would not be coming to lunch and he'd accepted a ceremony in Tokyo. Though Mika and he had stayed until late monday morning, the youngest Uesugi did not return until after their departure.

"There's something more you aren't telling me." Mika frowned at him. "Tatsuha isn't the only one who's been subdued this week. You've been coming home from work early. It's not that I don't appreciate the extra time with you, but if something's bothering you - say it." Tohma's look was distant and thoughtful. Mika sighed, placing Keiichi in his bouncer. "Tohma… I don't blame you for Tatsuha's heartbreak."

"Huh?" Tohma looked over at her.

"What happened between Taki Aizawa and my brother… no, more of how Tatsuha's reacting to it. If that's anyone's fault, it's mine."

Tohma blinked at her. "How are you to blame? Taki-"

"Tatsuha doesn't know how to handle heartbreak because of me. I was overprotective." Mika wrapped her arms around herself. "All those people he dated and broke the heart of. I didn't once take him aside and berate him for not taking what he was doing seriously. Or encourage him to find someone to be serious with. I didn't want him to. I was fine with him breaking hearts. I didn't care who he hurt, so long as they didn't hurt him."

"That's natural though, isn't it?" Tohma told her. "He's your brother, so it's natural for you to put him first. And he's not even twenty yet. So why should you have encouraged him to be serious with someone before he's even an adult?"

"Tatsuha's been an adult since he was a preteen. He's not like a normal teenager at all. He was always the mature, responsible one. Except when Ryuichi's involved. And lately, even then… but I suppose that was due to Nagi - or Taki - or whatever his name is." She ran a hand through her hair in frustration.

"Aren't we all mature and responsible until our hearts become involved?" Tohma spoke quietly. "That's when we make mistakes. When we go to pieces."

"Tohma?" Mika glanced over at him in concern.

"I've never failed anyone so often as I've failed you, Mika. Sometimes I wonder why you stay."

Mika moved forward to wrap her arms around him. "For a cold blooded genius, you sure can be a sappy idiot. Don't you know that's why I stay? Someone has to help you pick up the pieces."

 

* * *

 

  
_"There's nothing but empty promises_  
_In the world of the half-filled glass._  
_Only the forgotten flowers on the table_  
_Remember the sweet words long since past._

_"It's only in the darkest hour_  
_That our true faces show._  
_The rest of the time_  
_We read romantic lines_  
_Off cue cards in the window._

_"Don't promise me forever_  
_When we both know it's a lie._  
_I don't want a happy ending_  
_So far from the finish line._  
_Save romance for later,_  
_It's your kiss I need tonight._

_"Phony smiles can bedazzle you_  
_And lead you from your path._  
_My own heart stops at those shallow words_  
_Still, that's just a part that's cast._

_"It's your actions in our darkest hours_  
_That holds the most sway._  
_My trust is in your tears._  
_Your strength is in my fears._  
_They're what binds us to stay._

_"Don't promise me forever_  
_When we both know it's a lie._  
_I don't want a happy ending_  
_So far from the finish line._  
_Save romance for later,_  
_It's your embrace I need tonight._

_"Don't promise me forever_  
_When we both know it's a lie._  
_I don't want a happy ending_  
_So far from the finish line._  
_Save romance for later,_  
_You're all I need tonight."_

As the last chord faded, Shuichi glanced over at Suguru and Hiro. Suguru sighed in relief and Hiro gave a thumbs up.

"Terrific!" K's voice boomed through the speakers of the recording studio. "At this rate, your new album will be ready in no time! Why don't you take five, kids?"

"I've got a quick phone call to make." Hiro grabbed up his cellphone.

"You're becoming as co-dependent as Shuichi." Suguru commented.

Hiro delivered a whack to the back of his head as he went by. "Wait til it's your turn. Shuichi and I will get you back big time."

"Never happen. I'm way more sensible." Suguru rubbed the back of his head.

"I just want to see if she's settled into the new apartment." Hiro closed the door behind him.

"How badly was the old one damaged?" Suguru asked Shuichi.

"K said it was bad." Shuichi told him, pulling a water bottle out of his bag.

"If K said it was bad, I don't even want to think about it." Suguru sat down to stretch out his legs. "Still, one good thing is a lot of our fans are rallying behind Hiro and Ayaka now that that's come out. Sakano said they have a seventy-three percent approval rating as of this morning."

"People can be so selfishly cruel sometimes." Shuichi looked down at the water bottle he held. "It's horrible."

"So how come you aren't calling Eiri-san?" Suguru eyed him suspiciously.

"He hasn't been much in the mood to talk." Shuichi admitted.

"When did that ever stop you?" When Shuichi didn't reply, Suguru looked at him suspiciously again. "Y'know, there's always a hint of Eirii in your songs. But I swear I can read some of Ayaka and Hiro in 'Won't Call it Fate'. So I'm wondering about 'Save Romance for Later'. It inspired by someone else too?"

"..."

Suguru frowned at the continued silence. "Well, okay, it's none of my business I guess." He stood up to go back to his keyboard. "But, y'know, if you feel the urge to blab about it or anything, you can go ahead. Or not, it doesn't matter."

"Hey, Suguru." When Suguru glanced over, Shuichi offered him a smile. "Thanks. I'll take you up on that sometime."

Suguru offered a small smile back. "Don't mention it."

 

* * *

 

Tatsuha let the smell of the sandalwood incense soothe him as he knelt in front of the altar. He kept his mind empty, or tried. Sometimes thoughts slipped in. 'I should call Eiri. Try to apologize.’ He pushed it away - receding into emptiness.

'Why did Tohma and Mika stay so long? Why would they even want to see me after...'

"He's the one who said he blamed you for the destruction of his family." Nagi's tone had been triumphant. And Tohma had stood so very still...

He gritted his teeth, forcing his mind to empty again.

"Tatsuha!"

He intook a sharp breath, startled by his father's call for him. "In the temple!" He took a deep breath to calm himself, even as the sound of footsteps indicated when his father entered the room. When silence continued to stretch between them, he turned to look at him - confused at why he wasn't talking. His father was watching him, a look he couldn't decipher in his eyes. "Father?"

"I'm off to do a blessing." Uesugi told him, his voice quiet. "I'll be back before the evening meal."

Tatsuha nodded. His father had said as much earlier in the day. Why did he feel the need to repeat it? "Alright."

"Will you be home then?"

"Of course." Tatsuha replied instantly.

"Will you be going out tonight?"

Tatsuha looked away from his father's searching gaze. "No, I think I'll stay in."

"You've been doing that a lot lately." Uesugi mentioned.

Tatsuha looked determinedly at the altar. "It's one of our busiest seasons." He excused.

"Hn." Uesugi's reply was non-committal. "I'll be going then."

Tatsuha closed his eyes, listening to his father's footsteps fade. He tried to regain his concentration, but he'd lost it. His father's words reminding him that slightly over a week ago he'd said just the opposite. That he'd been gone a lot.

'I was out… with Nagi...'

Tears stung his eyes and he curled his hand in his hair, taking a ragged breath as he tried to hold them back. "Stop it, Tats. Don't be such a baby." He lectured himself.

"I guess the baby of the family hasn't got that part down yet." Nagi's taunting words haunted him.

"Jerk! He was always a jerk. Why didn't I see it?"

"Well, they missed a treat.... You're quite a sight dressed like that. You look like you're from an Akira Kurosawa movie."

"Being with you was never about sex."

"I like that. I want to be someone you trust."

"Lies! Stupid lies!" Tatsuha curled up, tears falling despite his attempt to keep them back.

"Poor little temple boy.... You didn't honestly think anyone could want you for you?"

With a ragged sob, Tatsuha leaned over to rest his forehead against the floor of the temple, letting the tears fall.

 

* * *

 

"Ayaka."

"Hello, Father." Ayaka greeted her father with a hug. "How have you been?"

"Things have been a bit quieter this week." The old monk admitted. "There was a reporter of some sort hanging around yesterday."

"Reporter?" Ayaka frowned.

"A photographer or whatever. Took a lot of pictures. Your mother caught him trying to sneak into the house."

"I see..." Ayaka bit her lip. "Perhaps I should have waited one more week."

"We haven't seen you in over a month already." Her father pointed out.

"When I started college I was gone for almost two." Ayaka pointed out.

"The house feels so much emptier without you. I might never grow used to it."

"Ayaka!" Her mother came running in. "You should have told me she'd arrived!" She lectured her husband as she pulled her daughter into a hug. "I was so scared when I saw the news."

"Now, now, Kiyoni. You said you wouldn't start on that right away." Usami lectured his wife.

"How can I not?" She asked her husband before turning back to Ayaka. "You should have called right away. When we saw the news we didn't know what to think. And the reporter wasn't being clear about if anyone had been injured-"

"I had to fill out the police report. No one's sure how the news found out so quickly yet. Not even K."

"Kei? Who is she?" Her mother's face pinched in confusion.

"No, no. K, mother. Bad Luck's manager. I've mentioned him before."

"That vulgar blonde american who's always with them on the news? I doubt he'd know anything." Kiyoni sniffed.

"Shuichi says he's the best. He's really-"

"I'd rather you not mention that boy's name in this home." Kiyoni frowned. "I've told you that before."

Ayaka's eyes narrowed. "He's Hiro's best friend and bandmate. And-"

"I don't want to discuss him!" Kiyoni cut her off. "Really, it must be because Uesugi's wife died so young that all his children turned out so-"

"Mother, I'll turn right back around and leave if you don't-"

"Leave? But you just got here!" Kiyoni's eyes widened in dismay. "Ayaka, you promised when we let you go off to college you wouldn't become a neglectful daughter. Do you know the Akami's youngest daughter hasn't visited them in over a year? It's so shameful. You won't be like that, will you?"

Ayaka sighed. "Of course not, Mother. I'll always visit you and father regularly."

"Why don't we talk about something else?" Usami cut in.

"Oh, I was chosen by a company for a job." Ayaka told them. "We did a class project for them, and they liked my work the best."

"Is that so? Well… congratulations." Her father told her awkwardly.

"...I'll go check on lunch." Kiyoni headed into the kitchen.

Ayaka looked down at the floor, her eyes sad.

 

* * *

 

"Yuki! I'm home!" The house was mostly dark when Shuichi entered, carrying bags of take-out. He saw the light was on under his lover's office door and sighed. Turning on lights as he went, he set the take-out on the dining room table, going to fetch drinks from the kitchen. When Yuki had yet to appear by the time he returned, Shuichi sighed again and set them on the table.

He tried knocking first, but when no reply came he opened the door determinedly. "Yuki, dinner..." He trailed off upon seeing Yuki asleep, his head pillowed on his arms on the desk. His laptop sat open, the screensaver showing waving lines.

Shaking his head in amusement, he picked up a blanket off a nearby shelf and placed it around his lover's shoulders. "You're going to have a kink in your neck tomorrow." He lectured the blonde gently, before brushing his lips across his cheek. He froze, though, when he felt dampness. Closer inspection revealed tear tracks on the novelist's face.

Shuichi eyed him sadly, and sat down on the floor next to him, leaning his cheek against his thigh. "You should call him." He told the sleeping blonde. "I'm sure he doesn't really resent you."

 

* * *

 

Tatsuha was stirring a stew pot in the kitchen when the bell rang. Not really in the mood to see anyone, he closed his eyes - willing the visitor to go away. The bell rang insistently again. Taking a deep breath to compose himself, he went to answer the door.

The man outside had a baseball cap low over his face, and was dressed casually in jeans and a t-shirt. He didn't seem like a likely late-night visitor to the temple. "Can I help you in some way?" He asked.

"Is Uesugi home?"

He blinked blankly. "Um, I'm Uesugi Tatsuha. If you're looking for the head of the temple, he should be back soon.

"Nope, just checking." The hat lifted and he found himself looking at sparkling blue eyes.

"R-Ryuichi?" He stared.

"Tatsuha-kun!" Ryuichi glomped him.

Tatsuha staggered, but managed to retain his footing. "Ack!" He gave a small cry of surprise, but Ryuichi quickly let him go.

"I remember that Uesugi-san doesn't like hugging. He said something about it being shameless and improper to me once. So I had to make sure he wasn't home." Ryuichi grinned.

Tatsuha stared at him blankly. "Um… Ry- I mean, Sakuma-san, why are you here?"

Ryuichi's eyes became watery. "Tatsuha doesn't want to see me? Why? Did I do something wrong?"

"No-no!" Tatsuha assured him hastily. "I just didn't expect you."

"Oh!" Ryuichi gave a shout, as if he'd remembered something. "That's right! I meant to call, but I lost your number. See, my phone from here won't work in America. And I only got your number listed because you called me. You said something about Hiro giving it to you, right? So it wasn't written down anywhere. So when I got my phone in America, I lost your number."

"I see." Tatsuha nodded, although he really didn't see what that had to do with Ryuichi being at the temple. But it did explain why the few times he'd tried to call Ryuichi he'd been told the number wasn't in service. "Um, but why-"

"So! Since Kuma and I are in Kyoto - I'd tell you why but it's super hush hush and you'd have to take an oath to commit harakiri if you told anyone in order for me to tell you (at least that's what Rage said) - we decided to come say hi! I can come in, right?"

Tatsuha still felt a little overwhelmed, but he shook it off. "Yes, of course. Please come in." He stepped back from the door, bowing slightly out of habit.

Ryuichi paused a moment to study him. "I should have brought a gift. How rude to stop by without one!" He reached into his pocket. "Ah! I have pocky!" He offered the box to Tatsuha with a grin, bowing slightly. "Please accept it."

"Eh?" Tatsuha was startled by the turn of events. He couldn't help but smile slightly in amusement, taking the pocky box and bowing again. "It's a generous gift - thank-you very much."

"Mmmm, something smells good." Ryuichi sniffed the air as Tatsuha closed the door behind him.

"Oh, the stew!" Tatsuha hurried back to the kitchen. He held onto his robe sleeve with one hand so he could stir the pot with the other. It was only then that he realized he was still in his robes. 'I've probably worn them more this week then in the past month...' He thought briefly.

Ryuichi had followed him, watching him as he checked on the meal. He smiled slightly at first, but paused when he saw the distant look on the other's face. When Tatsuha turned back to him, he threw Kumagorou at him - hitting him in the face.

"Ack!" Tatsuha shook his head. "Hey, what was that for?"

"Kuma and I came by to see you because we're in town. But you're ignoring us and your face is grumpy! Did we come at a bad time?"

Tatsuha bit his lip, looking down. 'What do I say to that? I just got my heart trampled on, not to mention hurt the feelings of my brother and your ex-bandmate?' "It's… I-"

"Tatsuha! Are you home!"

Tatsuha's head snapped up at his father's voice. "I'm in the kitchen!"

"Did you cook dinner again? I'm not incapable, you know." His father trailed off - spotting Ryuichi. A frown flitted across his face.

"Good evening, Uesugi-san." Ryuichi bowed to the monk.

"Sakuma-san." Uesugi returned the greeting. "It's been several years since you last graced our grounds with your presence."

His father did not sound happy and Tatsuha winced slightly at the words. Before he could intercede, however, Ryuichi spoke again.

"It's true. Tohma and Mika's wedding was my last visit, wasn't it?" Ryuichi was serious as he faced the elder man. "I didn't get out to Kyoto often before this. I'm here in town for a few days, though, so I thought it would be the proper thing to say hello."

"Hmph." Uesugi crossed his arms. "Is dinner ready, Tatsuha?" He glanced at his son.

"Yes, everything's ready." Tatsuha admitted.

"I suppose you'd best set an extra table setting then."

"I wouldn't want to impose..." Ryuichi left the words hanging. It was obvious he meant the opposite.

Uesugi frowned at him. "You're here. And it is time for dinner. Unless you already have plans?"

"Nope." Ryuichi admitted with a grin. "And it does smell good."

"I'm sure you'll find Tatsuha's cooking to your liking." Uesugi glanced over at Tatsuha, who was watching them blankly. "Tatsuha, the table." He reminded him.

"Yes, father." Tatsuha started fetching the tableware out of the cabinet. 'What the-? How did this happen exactly??' He wondered to himself.

_To Be Continued..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lyrics for "Save Romance for Later" were written by yours truly. Please do not use them without my permission!
> 
> I had Tatsuha skip out on the family lunch after the break up with Nagi because I actually feel his personality is one that shies away from personal conflict. After what had occured, I think he'd avoid everyone as best he could while he tried to pull himself together.
> 
> I've hinted over the last few chapters that Ayaka's parents aren't comfortable with her relationship with Hiro or her choice to pursue a career. I thought we'd take a moment to explore that, but it won't become a huge part of the story. In fact, it's supposed to be something Hiro and her have already faced down and accepted.
> 
> There are some great Gravitation fics out there, but I so rarely like the portrayal of Ayaka in them. They always seem to make her meek. Ayaka had the guts to ruin her own engagement for the man she first loved. How could a girl with that sort of strength possibly be meek? Will it be an easy path being with Hiro? No. Will her parents ever accept Hiro? There's a damn good chance not. But I think Ayaka is someone who would sacrifice anything for who she loves.
> 
> There's a reason I named the fic "The Price for Loving You", and a reason I chose to duo the story about Hiro/Ayaka and Ryuichi/Tatsuha. Tatsuha and Ayaka have difficulties they have to deal with as the "normal" (non-famous) ones of the group. However, I think both of them have the conviction and strength to love someone in that situation.


	12. Chapter 12

Uesugi-san hadn't been lying when he'd said he'd find Tatsuha's cooking to his liking. Though it had been a while since he'd had a traditional-style meal. particularly from Kyoto cuisine. It was, however, absolutely delicious. The more he said so, however, the more flustered Tatsuha seemed to get. Not obviously, but Ryuichi's sharp eyes saw every pause in motion, and every hint of pink that flushed across the younger man's face.

He also knew he wasn't the only one noting it. But Uesugi's thoughts on his son's behavior were unreadable. The old man had always been hard to read. He remembered even during the early days of Tohma and Mika's relationship it had been hard to say if he truly approved. Uesugi-san had always reminded him of a Lord or Shogun from days gone by. Do or say the right thing, and you could earn a great reward. But displease him...

"A decent meal." Uesugi stood from the table.

"Thank-you, Father." Tatsuha bowed his head.

"It was all so good!" Ryuichi offered him a bright smile. "I couldn't eat another bite!"

"Perhaps after a short rest you'll have room for some tea?" Uesugi suggested.

"Tea?" Tatsuha looked up, startled.

Ryuichi was certain he saw another hint of a blush across his cheeks. Curious, he grinned. "That sounds good."

"Clean away the dishes and prepare things while Sakuma-san and I take a rest on the porch." Uesugi instructed.

"Yes, Father."

For a long moment no one moved.

"Sakuma-san, are you turning down my company?" Uesugi asked.

"I'm not used to kneeling at a traditional table." Ryuichi mentioned.

"And?"

"I think my legs are stuck."

Tatsuha collapsed, while a drip appeared by Uesugi's head. "Are you serious? Tatsuha..."

"Yes, sir." Tatsuha walked over to pull Ryuichi to his feet.

Ryuichi gave a screech. "My legs! Ouch! Ouch!"

"I'm sorry, Sakuma-san! Are you alright?"

Ryuichi bounced around the room. "Pins and needles! Ack! Ouch! Ouch!"

Uesugi-san sighed heavily as he exited. "I'll be outside."

"Sakuma-san?" Tatsuha was torn between concern and amusement. He was smacked in the face by Kumagorou. "Ack! What was that for??"

"That's for laughing at me!"

"But I didn't!"

"You were in your head!" Ryuichi accused. "Also, it's for keeping secrets!"

"What secrets?" Tatsuha's look grew concerned.

"You never once told Kumagorou and I you were such a good cook!" Ryuichi winked at him, pausing near the door. "I can't wait to try your tea!"

The flush across Tatsuha's face was more apparent and Ryuichi grinned as he headed out to the patio.

 

Uesugi-san was looking over the grounds, seated on the wooden porch. Sakuma watched him for a moment, still trying to understand the character of the Uesugi patriarch. His gaze as he stared across the grounds held both fondness, sorrow, and a hint of possessiveness. 'Like a lord surveying his lands.' Ryuichi thought.

"I've long since passed the age to be considered pleasant to look at." Uesugi broke the silence. "What are you trying to figure out?"

Ryuichi hesitated a moment before answering. "You. Since the day we first met I've never quite been able to figure you out."

"Hn. Interesting."

"Is it?"

"It's interesting because I've always thought the same of you." Uesugi confessed.

Ryuichi came over to sit down next to him. "What is there to figure out?"

"Are you a brilliant man who plays the fool? Or are you a fool who is occasionally brilliant?"

"In the end, aren't they one and the same?" Ryuichi asked him.

"Hmph." Uesugi glanced over at him, then looked over the temple grounds again. "I have little patience for fools. My wife was always far more patient. Like Tatsuha."

"He's grown into a remarkable young man." Ryuichi offered cautiously.

"He's been burdened since he was young. It's a shame that his life has held so little joy. Hn… in this, too, he is a lot like his mother."

"I've never heard much about her. Even from Mika."

"Even Mika is afraid to mention her around me. My children seem to think I am fragile. Save Eiri. He seems to think I'm immortal and do not need his concern at all. So disrespectful." The old man grumbled.

Ryuichi swallowed an amused smile, and contemplated all he'd said for a moment before speaking. "Tell me something about your late wife."

"I have already."

"You've compared Tatsuha to her twice. Does he look like her as well?"

"All my children look like her." Uesugi replied.

"That's true. There's a strong family resemblance between all three." Ryuichi leaned on his hand. "Tell me something else. How you met, for instance. Was it an arranged marriage?"

"...it was not."

"Were you raised together?"

Uesugi was silent and Ryuichi was beginning to think the line of questioning had overstepped the boundaries. Footsteps alerted them to Tatsuha's presence.

"Father, everything is ready."

"Very well, we're coming." Uesugi told him.

Tatsuha reentered the house and Ryuichi stood up. He paused when the old monk did not move. "Uesugi-san?"

Uesugi stood up slowly, his gaze distant - beyond the grounds in front of them. "I met my wife when I was seventeen. On the night she tried to take her own life." That said he followed Tatsuha inside.

Ryuichi stood frozen for a long moment. He had a feeling even Uesugi's children were not privy to the information he'd just disclosed to him. "Everyone has their secrets." He whispered to himself before following.

 

He'd had his suspicions that Uesgui had meant traditional tea. But he hadn't expected a full ceremony. It explained why Tatsuha had seemed hesitant and slightly embarrassed. He knelt down next to Uesugi.

Tatsuha bowed to them. "This variation of the tea ceremony was once performed by samurai." He explained. "Please forgive my lack of skill."

Ryuichi had never understood why traditional ceremonies so often required the party to apologize for something being bad even when the opposite was true. But, then, no one would ever have called the frontman of Nittle Grasper humble. He was vain, and he knew it. Though why it wasn't rude to say you were bad when you'd just made everyone else look bad had always been a question no one could answer.

He watched as Tatsuha went through the motions of the tea ceremony, his eyes almost distant. Perhaps he was imagining he was a samurai performing the ceremony, Ryuichi thought. He didn't know anything about the ceremony. Couldn't have known even if a mistake was made. But Tatsuha's motions seemed graceful and perfect to him He felt his lips tug into a smile.

He spared a glance at Uesugi as he watched his son perform the ceremony. His gaze held the same emotions as it had when he'd gazed at the ground. Fondness, sorrow, and a hint of possessiveness.

Ryuichi turned back as Tatsuha sat a sweet in front of him. "Eat it first, and the tea won't taste as bitter." He whispered before speaking aloud. "Please, take one."

"Thank-you." Ryuichi bowed, placing the sweet in his mouth as Tatsuha finished his cup of tea and brought it to him.

"I'm sorry if it doesn't taste good."

It had been years. He'd probably been Tatsuha's age when he'd last had a cup of green tea. Somehow his hands seemed to remember how to turn the cup. Somehow he remembered how many sips to take. As he turned the cup again to hand back, he noted the surprise in Tatsuha's eyes. 'So, even a director can be caught off guard.' He thought smugly. He bowed and Tatsuha did the same. He returned to his place to rinse out the cup and make his father's serving.

Ryuichi spared another glance at Uesugi, and was surprised to find his gaze on him, calculating. He turned back to watch Tatsuha, but Ryuichi could not read the distant gaze.

'Old Shogun.' He wondered to himself, turning back to watch Tatsuha complete the tea ceremony. 'Are you trying to decide if I'm worthy of one of your greatest treasures?'

 

* * *

 

 

"I am Hans. I can defeat anybody!" A muscular man pronounced from a small stage.

K studied him for a moment, before pulling out his gun and shooting at him.

The man screamed and hid behind the curtain. "I give! I give!"

K sighed. "Next!" He holstered the gun.

"Aren't there agencies for this sort of thing?" Ayaka sat in a chair, hands folded in her lap.

"These are all from the various agencies, as well as from personal recommendations." K told her. "Not every agency is all it's cracked up to be."

"Ah."

The ground shook under the arrival of a heavyset man. "I'm Marudo. Nice to meet you." He bowed.

"What weapons do you use?" K asked.

"I prefer not to."

"What if your opponent uses one?"

"Try me."

"Okay." Pulling out a large knife this time, K slashed at the other man. The large man managed to dodge, and grabbed K's knife arm.

"Not bad." K nodded. "Ayaka?"

"Forgive my rudeness, but you aren't very inconspicuous. I'd rather not everyone know I have a bodyguard." Ayaka said slowly.

"Reasonable, I guess. Though sometimes the best defense is a good offense." K shrugged. "She's the boss. Sorry, man."

"I understand. All the best." The man bowed again and headed off.

"Next!" K shouted, stepping off the stage again.

"Aiyaa!" A small man flew onto the stage. "I am… Bee!" He struck a pose.

"Great. What can you do?"

"Hoy!" Bee flipped and kicked his way across the stage. "I am trained in many martial arts!"

"Which means you switched schools a lot. Probably cuz you're incompetent." K commented.

Bee's eyes narrowed. "Hoy!" He did a flying kick at K's head. K caught his foot and swung him around - tossing him out the window.

Next to him, a drip appeared by Ayaka's head.

"Next!" K shouted, but no one emerged. He frowned. "Next!"

"Excuse me."

They both turned to the young woman who was at the door of the room. "I seem to be lost."

K frowned. "This building has restricted access. How did you get in?"

"I was invited here." She explained, glancing at a notebook she was carrying. "I'm looking for room 211."

"This is room 211." K crossed his arms. "You aren't seriously here to apply for the bodyguard position, are you?"

"Ah! So this is the correct location!" She smiled. "You must be Claude Winchester."

K pulled out his gun. "When I'm working, my name is K. And you better tell me who you are."

The girl suddenly kicked the gun aside. K lept back as she proceeded to attempt to sweep his feet out from under him. "Watch out, Ayaka!" K pulled the her to one side before charging at the unknown woman. He threw several punches, which she dodged. Rolling to the ground she pulled out a gun, firing three shots.

K dodged all three, and another gun was in his hand - pointing at the woman'ss head. Her own gun was aimed at his stomach.

"You live up to your reputation, K-san." Flipping the gun around she offered him the handle. "I am here to apply for the position. My name is Isei Naomi."

K holstered his gun and waved aside the one she'd offered him. "I'm just the middle man. The boss is over there." He tilted his head at Ayaka.

Naomi stood up and bowed to her. "Miss Usami."

"How do you know my name?" Ayaka asked her.

"Your middle man and I share a mutual acquaintance." Naomi replied. I can assure you, I won't draw unnecessary attention to myself or you. And I am quite capable."

Ayaka nodded. "I believe you. But can I ask who sent you?"

"They've asked to remain anonymous."

"Then I'll respect their wishes. Though I hope in the future to be able to thank them."

"That might be possible in the future. But it would be up to them."

Ayaka nodded, glancing over at K - who seemed thoughtful. "K-san?"

K broke into a smile. "OK! Let's get the little details out of the way first! I asked Sakano to make a contract." He produced a towering stack of paper. "Which was obviously a mistake." He tossed it aside - scattering paper everywhere. "Luckily I have something far more reasonable." He produced a small leaflet. "So, if you want to look it over and sign on, we'll call it a deal. And you can start today."

 

* * *

 

 

"Sakuma." Ryuichi answered his cellphone. He was standing on a bridge overlooking a river.

"It's me." The caller replied.

"Ah, how did it go, Naomi-chan?"

"I'm hired." Naomi was walking up a street in Tokyo.

"Congratulations Did K recognize you?"

"...No." Naomi admitted. "but it's been years. I was just a little girl back then. And my name isn't uncommon."

"I've never forgotten it. Watching a young girl nearly be trampled to death is not something you can just forget."

"When K leaped into the crowd to pull me out, he saved my life. I'd come to see my idol, and I met a hero instead. The impression was lasting. Today, I got to test my skills against his."

"And?"

"I've got a long way to go."

Ryuichi chuckled. "K's the best."

"Then I'll strive to be the best as well. It's the best way I can think of to repay him."

"You're a good person, Naomi." Ryuichi smiled. "Kumagorou agrees." He brought the plushy bunny up to the phone. "Yes! Yes! Naomi-chan's super-nice!" He made it talk before hiding it away again. "How's the contract?"

"I like that the company pays funeral expenses if needed."

Ryuichi chuckled. "Leave it to K."

"Miss Usami would like to thank her benefactor sometime."

"Hm… maybe in the future. Guard her well, Naomi-chan."

"With my life." Naomi promised and hung up.

Ryuichi pocketed the phone, glancing around at the others strolling along the bridge. No one was paying any attention to him, which was a novelty actually. He tended to attract attention even when disguised. The unabashed truth was he thrived on it. But he didn't really care about the attention of the crowd at that moment. What he wanted was the attention of one person in particular.

"Mochi?"

Ryuichi glanced at the sweet and then grinned at the bearer. "Tatsuha-kun! You're late."

"I'm very sorry." Tatsuha told him. "My appointment ran over."

"Appointment? That sounds important. What was it about?"

Tatsuha shifted uncomfortable. "Just work."

"Hm? Work?" Ryuichi leaned closer. "You're all quiet again."

Tatsuha hesitated, turning to glance over the river. "It's just work. Funeral arrangements. It… most people don't like to talk about it."

"Other people don't like to talk about it? Or you don't?" Ryuichi's tone was serious.

Tatsuha glanced over at him, but Ryuichi's back was turned and he couldn't see his face. "Both, I guess. I mean, it's not a pleasant conversation. Maybe if it had been about arranging a couple's wedding blessing… but even then most people don't find it interesting."

"Weddings and funerals… that's an irony. So, what else do you do?" Ryuichi turned to lean on the bridge with him.

"Um… I do house blessings. And ground blessings."

"Ground blessings? You bless the ground?" Ryuichi glanced down at the bridge.

Tatsuha found himself suppressing a laugh. "No, no. It's for when someone begins construction on a house or business. To make sure there's no evil spirits or negative energy."

"Oh! Do you do exorcisms?" Ryuichi asked with wide eyes. "I saw a movie about one once! It was really scary! Kumagorou had nightmares for weeks!"

Tatsuha gave up on keeping a straight face. He let out a laugh. "I do, but I doubt it's anything like the movie you watched."

"Ha! I win!" Ryuichi grinned.

Tatsuha blinked. "Win?"

"I made you smile!" Ryuichi winked. "C'mon, let's got to the Iwatayama Monkey Park!" Grabbing his arm, Ryuichi dragged him off down the bridge.

Tatsuha let himself be dragged along, trying to figure out why his smiling meant Ryuichi had "Won". And startled to realize that it had been a long time since he'd last laughed and smiled as Ryuichi had the ability to make him.

 

* * *

 

 

Tohma hesitated before picking up the phone in his office in NG and dialing a number. He glanced at a picture of Mika holding Keiichi on his desk as the phone rang.

"Uesugi residence."

"Good afternoon, Uesugi-san."

There was a pause. "Good afternoon, Seguchi-san. I'm surprised to hear from you. Is Mika and Keiichi well?"

"They're both fine. I thought I'd call and see how you and Tatsuha were. Mika is always worrying about the two of you."

"Mika is a good daughter. But things are peaceful here. She needn't worry too much."

"I see. Has Tatsuha been well?"

"Better since that strange friend of yours started coming by."

Tohma froze. "Ryuichi came by? Did he say why?"

"He had business in Kyoto, so he's stopped by for dinner a couple times. I thought perhaps you or Mika had asked him to come?"

There was a question in his tone. "No, I haven't spoken to Ryuichi about Tatsuha at all." Tohma told him. "I knew he went on a business trip to Kyoto. He's due back in Tokyo tomorrow."

"So he came on his own..." Uesugi's tone was thoughtful.

"Is Tatsuha there now?"

"Hm… No. As a matter of fact he's out with that friend of yours at the Iwatayama Monkey Park."

Tohma paused again. "He is?"

"It's the first time he's gone out aside from work in awhile. If you see Sakuma, thank him for watching out for my son."

"...I'll do that. Take care, Uesugi-san."

"You as well, Seguchi-san. Say hello to Mika and Keiichi for me."

"I will." Tohma frowned thoughtfully as he hung up. Pulling out his cellphone he typed out a message and sent it.

 

* * *

 

 

'What are you doing? Call me. Tohma.' The cellphone screen read. Ryuichi chuckled as he read it before pocketing the phone again. He turned back to watching the monkeys in the trees. Tatsuha came up carrying two bottles of water.

"It's summer, so, of course, they're charging a mint for it because everyone's thirsty. Hmph." He offered one to Ryuichi.

"Oh, I should have paid." Ryuichi mentioned as he opened the water. "Silly me!"

"Huh? Oh, no!" Tatsuha grew embarrassed. "I wasn't complaining about spending the money on you. Just that the vendors are extorting everyone. They do it every summer."

"I never really think about how much things cost. Three dollars. Three hundred dollars. Three thousand dollars. I can afford them all without worry, so one is the same as the other.

Tatsuha blinked. "Wow. I mean… I know Eiri is the same way and all - but I never thought about it in depth. I have to save up my money to get anything expensive. The most expensive stuff, like my bike, I got off of Mika or Eiri. So I guess on that level I'm spoiled.”

"I never had siblings. And it's been a long time since I had to save up to buy anything. So I'm more spoiled than you." Ryuichi grinned. "Is is fun to have siblings?"

"Well, I guess. I can't imagine life without them, so..." Tatsuha grew serious, leaning on the wall that separated part of the path from the trees. "I can't imagine that..." There was a sad tone to his voice.

"Tatsuha?" Ryuichi watched him carefully.

"Hey, Ryuichi, have you ever hurt someone you cared about?"

"There's an old saying that those who know you best can hurt you the worst." Ryuichi spoke slowly. Tatsuha winced at his words.

"I can understand that. But it doesn't answer my question."

"...of course I have. Hasn't everybody?"

"A couple of weeks ago, I would have told you I never have. Now?" He shrugged.

"Everyone makes mistakes… or did you mean it?"

"No!" Tatsuha straightened. "Well, kind-of, but not to hurt anyone. They were just these thoughts I had. They weren't supposed to know them. I never meant to hurt them."

"Then tell them that. If they care about you as much as you do them, they'll forgive you."

"What if they don't?"

"Then it's better to know now. Isn't it?"

Tatsuha bit his lip, glancing at the water he held. "So you've been in a similar situation?"

"You're not giving me much to go on. But if I'm understanding you - Yes, I have."

"Will you tell me about it?"

Ryuichi turned to lean his back against the wall. "You ever thought about what it would be like to be famous?"

"Sure, what kid hasn't?" Tatsuha leaned against the wall as well.

"But just the fun part. Being on stage, or film. Signing autographs. Right?"

"So what's the other part?"

"Imagine what it's like to have a hundred people scream your name."

"Kinda weird." Tatsuha grinned.

"Now imagine ten thousand."

"Um..."

"Go on. Close your eyes. Imagine it."

Tatsuha seemed amused as he closed his eyes, but the amusement faded quickly. "Kinda scary." He answered.

Ryuichi nodded. "Imagine someone throwing themselves at your feet and saying they worship you. Then a dozen. Then a hundred. Imagine people screaming - not shouting, just screaming - as you walk past. Imagine dozens of hands reaching out to grab at you. Just to touch you. Imagine being called a god."

Tatsuha's eyes shot open and he turned to look at him sharply. Ryuichi's eyes bored into his. Deadly in their seriousness. "Imagine getting thousands of letter from people saying they love you. Imagine getting thousands of letter from people saying they hate you. Imagine someone saying they'll kill themself if you don't love them. Imagine someone saying they'll kill you if you don't love them."

Tatsuha shifted uncomfortably. "I think I'll pass."

"Pass up fame and fortune? The money to buy anything you want? The prestige to make almost anyone jump at your whims?"

Tatsuha seemed to think for a moment, then he pressed his hands together in a prayer position. "All things are transitory. Let go of longing for things to reach Nirvana." He lectured.

Ryuichi stared for a moment, then he doubled over with laughter. "I… I'm trying to tempt a monk with wealth. Am I the biggest idiot ever or what?" He got out.

Tatsuha broke into a grin, chuckling himself. "Well, I'm not ready for Nirvana yet." He admitted. "I like my material things. But then, it was once said that is wasn't through forsaking the material world, but in accepting that it's transitory, that we find enlightenment. So nothing's wrong with liking stuff, just in being possessive over it and not wanting to let it go."

"I guess I've got a long way to go then." Ryuichi admitted.

Tatsuha shrugged. "Don't most people? But, Ryuichi, you still haven't told me what I asked you about."

"Hm. Well, you've got the idea about fame, right?"

"I think I have the concept of what you were saying."

Ryuichi nodded. "It's a rush. And it can mess up your head just as much as any rush. There's a reason they say it's a shame when fame happens to a nice kid."

"You, Noriko, and Tohma?"

"Heh. Heh." Ryuichi's chuckle was slightly dark. "Oh, Tohma, Noriko, and I were never "nice kids". But even if you're smart and ambitious, being famous can mess you up. With so many people praising you, it's hard not to let it get to your head. If a thousand people say you're perfect, you just might start believing it. I don't know what kept Noriko grounded. Maybe watching Tohma and me get bloated was part of it. Or maybe she's just more grounded than us to begin with.

"Anyway, if two people each think they're perfect, sooner or later they're going to clash. And that's what happened. We'd been friends a long time. More than the physical fight, the words we said were the most painful. The most cutting. It's funny how we could see how the other had gotten big-headed, but didn't see it in ourselves. After the fight, we took a couple weeks hiatus. In the end, it was a good thing. Cleared the air, so to speak. Helped us face ourselves. Get our heads on right."

"But how… I mean, did you ever apologize?"

"Under the circumstances, it wasn't as much an apology. "I'm sorry" wasn't the right words. But we talked it out. In the end, it made us that much closer." Tatsuha's look was distant. Ryuichi studied his profile for a moment before interrupting. "Tatsuha?"

"Thank-you."

"For what?"

Tatsuha's lips curled into a wry smile. "Enlightenment." He replied.

"Isn't that your job?" Ryuichi teased him.

Tatsuha chuckled. "True. But even Buddha had teachers, right? Seriously, just… thank-you." Ryuichi's look as he gazed at him was undecipherable. "What?"

The ex-singer shook his head. "Ask me again another day. Let's go to dinner!"

Tatsuha tilted his head to one side. "Isn't it a little early for dinner?"

"But I'm hungry now!" Ryuichi paused. "Oh, wait right here." He suddenly slipped over to the vendor Tatsuha had brought the water from earlier. After exchanging a few words and money, Ryuichi suddenly turned to the people milling the pathway. "Free water! Come and get a bottle!"

A crowd quickly converged on the stand. Ryuichi laughed as he started handing out bottles. Catching Tatsuha's eye over the crowds head, Ryuichi threw him a wink. Tatsuha grinned in response.

 

* * *

 

  
Yuki ignored the doorbell at first - continuing to work on his novel. It wasn't until someone leaned on the buzzer that he grew irritated enough to get up. Stomping to the door, he yanked it open. "Did you forget your key ag-!" He stopped when he saw it was Tatsuha outside the door.

"Haven't stolen one to the new apartment yet." Though his brother's smile seemed carefree, Yuki could see the tension in his shoulders and eyes.

"What are you doing in Tokyo?" He asked him.

"I brought Strawberry Shortcakes." Tatsuha held up the bag containing his infamous peace offering to his elder brother.

"Hn." Yuki turned and headed inside, but left the door open behind him.

With someone else, it might have been a rude gesture, but Tatsuhu knew with Yuki it was an unvoiced invitation. He followed - closing the door behind him and slipping off his shoes. Yuki was in the living room placing two cans of beer on the coffee table. The routine made him feel a bit more at ease, though the tension between them was still thick.

"So, what brought you here?" Yuki asked him, opening up one of the beers.

"My motorcycle." Tatsuha cursed himself for the flippant answer the moment it was out. He concentrated on putting the shortcakes out on the table.

"Well, if you don't need anything, I'll go back to work." Yuki picked up a shortcake and started for his office.

"I wanted to talk." Tatsuha forced the words out.

"What's there to talk about?" Yuki didn't turn back, but he paused.

"About what Nagi told you. About how I'm jealous and resent you."

"Lots of people are jealous of me, what's the big deal?"

"I'm trying to be serious here!" Tatsuha stood up.

"So am I." Yuki finally turned back, but his expression was cold and closed. "Lots of people hate me. Lots of people are jealous of me. So what?"

"I don't hate you! And I don't resent you either."

"Then why did you tell Aizawa you did?"

"...For as long as I can remember everyone's always compared us. Even in my earliest memories people said I was like a little you. When I was a kid, I loved it. When I got older, I did resent you for awhile. Then I realized that it was silly because you couldn't help that we looked alike anymore than I could. It wasn't your fault people were shallow and wanted me only as a fill in for you."

Yuki came back over to pick up another shortcake. "So don't hang around with people like that."

"Father is one of those people. For him, I'm just a fill in at the temple. You're the one he wants there." Tatsuha looked away from him.

"You really want that place, don't you?" Yuki asked him. Tatsuha nodded. "You know I don't want it. Never have. Never will." His brother nodded again. "So it's the old man then."

"I just don't understand why I don't measure up in his eyes. Why after all these years, I'm still not good enough to inherit."

"I can't answer for him."

"I know."

"He's always been an idiot. But I never knew you felt like this. You never seemed to feel the need to compete with Mika or me. You always seemed content with what you had."

"For the most part I am. The only thing I was really missing..." Tatsuha shook his head. "I was so stupid, trusting Nagi."

He didn't notice Yuki's hand clench. "You weren't stupid."

"Oh, but I was. How many people have I picked up and fed lines to? And I didn't even see when it was being done to me. I trusted him, and told him all this stuff about the family. I've never done anything to harm the family and now-"

"Stop it!" Yuki grabbed his shoulders and shook him. "It wasn't your fault… It's not wrong to want to be loved."

Tears filled Tatsuha's eyes and he tried to pull away so Yuki wouldn't see them. Instead of letting him go Yuki pulled him into a fierce hug. Tatsuha fought it for a moment, then sagged against him - letting the tears fall. Yuki's mouth formed into a hard line when the first ragged sob escaped his control, and he held tighter to his younger brother's shaking frame.

_To Be Continued..._


	13. Chapter 13

It was dark when Ryuichi slipped into his hotel room in Kyoto. Closing the door quietly he slid off his shoes and tip-toed further in without putting on any lights. He paused when he hear a click. "Heh, heh. Hi Reiji. How have you been?"

The lamp he was next to exploded when it was hit by a grenade. Ryuichi dived behind the couch for cover.

"Where have you been?" Reiji demanded.

"Nowhere special?" He replied cautiously. There was another click and he dived for safety as the couch was peppered with bullets.

"You were saying?"

"Ha, ha… really, I just went to the Iwatayama Monkey Park."

"Without warning your manager first! And where have you been disappearing off to the past week? Huh?" The tv was blown up by another grenade.

"I haven't been disappearing. I've gone out to dinner a few times, that's all!" Ryuichi dived for another chair, only to come face to face with Reiji's gun. "Heh, heh, Reiji. You shouldn't stress like this. It's bad for your health."

"My number one client is a pain to manage. That's bad for my health."

"That's why it takes the best to do it, right?" Ryuichi favored her with a smile.

Reiji met his gaze coldly for a moment then lowered the gun with a sigh. "Save the smooth-talking for your fans."

"Aw… but Reiji-san is the best!" Ryuichi pulled out Kumagorou. "Yep! She certainly is!"

"Hm..." Reiji holstered her gun. "Say, Kuma-chan - between you and me, was Ryuichi alone at the Iwatayama Monkey Park?"

"Of course not! I was with him the whole time!"

"Anyone else?"

Ryuichi peered out from behind Kumagorou, his look suspicious. Then he smiled and brought the plushy in front of him again. "Can't tell! Can't tell! It's a secret!"

"This have anything to do with that brother-in-law of Tohma's? The one he keeps so many pictures of on his mp3 player?"

"You shouldn't snoop into other people's things." Kumogorou had disappeared. Ryuichi's look was serious as he faced his young manager.

"When a client is being secretive, a manager's gotta do what a manager's gotta do." Reiji replied. "Did you sleep with him?"

Ryuichi scowled. "No, I did not. I've been in public - or at his house with his father present. I'm not causing a scandal."

"I can handle a scandal, as long as I'm prepared for it. This kid just a friend? Or are you after more?"

"Right now a friend."

"And later?"

"Why don't you let me find out where things go before you pressure me to decide?"

"If you're caught out with him, the reporters will be all over it."

Ryuichi chuckled. "I won't get caught. Unless I want to be. Deal?"

Reiji sighed. "You just have to make things difficult for me, don't you?"

"Weren't you the one saying you'd write personal moments into my schedule?"

"Next time forewarn me before you go off to have personal moments." Reiji countered.

Ryuichi grinned. "I'll consider it."

Reiji shot him a glare, but Ryuichi kept grinning. "Fine. Get some sleep. We're heading back to Tokyo tomorrow." She paused, glancing back. "How do you like the hotel?" She asked.

Ryuichi shrugged. "Not bad, why?"

"No trouble sleeping?"

Ryuichi looked at her suspiciously. "No, why?"

Reiji smirked. "Oh, the hotel has a reputation for being haunted. I'm disappointed, really. I haven't seen one ghost yet. Sleep tight!"

"Huh? Haunted? Hey! Reiji!" His manager was already gone. "You couldn't have waited to tell me tomorrow!" He shouted after her. "Hmph. Stupid kid. I'm not scared of ghosts." He glanced around the dark hotel room. "I'm not!" He said louder.

 

* * *

 

 

Ryuichi lay in bed - staring up at the ceiling. "She said that on purpose, Kumagorou. Seriously, she's just trying to scare us." He lay still a moment. "Not that I don't believe in ghosts, I do. But I bet this place isn't really haunted."

A creaking sound came from the next room and Ryuichi glanced at the closed bedroom door. "Because nobody's mentioned it but Reiji. So I'm sure it's just a trick to scare us." The wind rattled the window. Ryuichi glanced over at it, but the curtains were drawn. "She's getting back at us for not warning her we were spending time with Tatsuha… still, just in case, if she'd told us sooner, maybe we could have asked Tatsuha for a charm or something… Right Kumagorou?"

He glanced over but the plushy bunny wasn't next to him. "Huh? Hey, where'd you go? Kumagorou?" Sitting up he peered over the side of the bed. Kumagorou was sitting up in the middle of the floor.. "Kumagorou?" Ryuichi crept closer. "How did you get over there?" He clicked on the bedside lamp.

  
"AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!" From outside the hotel, Ryuichi's scream could be heard for several blocks.

 

* * *

 

  
The tune for 'Welcome to My Romance' played from a cellphone. Ayaka leaped up from her computer, grabbing it from where it sat on the coffee table. "Ayaka." She offered the caller.

"Ever notice how people answer the phone with their name? It's actually a really odd habit if you think about it."

Her face lit up. "Hiro! How is your studio sessions going?"

"K has decided to drag us out to make a video. Not that that stops Shuichi from writing the whole trip. Or Suguru from working on his keyboard. Do you know he has a converter so he can plug it in on the train?"

Ayaka sat back down at her computer with a grin. "No, I didn't, but it doesn't surprise me."

"So, we're stopping for lunch. Want to guess where?"

"Could it be… somewhere around, say… Kyoto?"

Hiro laughed. "Good guess. Shuichi's going to meet up with Ryuichi, apparently. Something about an urgent text message. And Suguru is probably going to work through lunch. So, if you're free, Miss Usami, maybe we could meet at our usual place?"

"I don't know, I have a lot of schoolwork..." Ayaka teased.

"Hey, it's good to take breaks to avoid eyestrain. Plus, a nutritional meal is important for keeping up one's energy. Trust me, I was going to be a doctor, remember?"

"But you flunked your entrance exam." Ayaka reminded him, unable to suppress a grin from her face.

"Ouch. Got me there. Twelve thirty good?"

"I'll be waiting."

"See you then."

 

* * *

 

 

"Tatsuha!"

Tatsuha glanced up from where he was watering the stones when his father called. "Outside!" He called back, returning to the task.

Uesugi paused at the door to watch his youngest son go about his chores. Though watering the stones was one of the 'lower tasks', Tatsuha never complained. He never complained about any of the duties. He'd proven himself to be far more reliable than Eiri. Now that he was on the cusp of adulthood, he should reconsider the inheritance of the temple. But aside from the fact that tradition placed the duty on Eiri, he also couldn't help but feel that his youngest child had been burdened with adult duties too young. To add inheriting the temple to that...

Shaking off his thoughts he left the matter for another day. "Tatsuha! I need you to perform a ceremony."

Tatsuha blinked. He'd checked their calendar that morning and hadn't seen any ceremonies listed. It must have been a last minute caller. "What is it?"

"A blessing ceremony. A man fears an object he owns is possessed."

A drip appeared on Tatsuha's head. "Are you serious? I hate those cases - you know that."

They tended to be frauds, or just whacked people who needed something to blame their troubles on. Only a few times had Tatsuha ever felt something more might be at work. And then it was really creepy and he could never sleep well that night.

Uesugi shrugged. "It can't be helped. The address is on the counter. You'd best be on your way."

"Huh? Now?"

"They feel it's an emergency."

Tatsuha sighed. "Why do we get the weird ones?"

"One of your friends must have recommended you. They asked for you by name."

Tatsuha was more confused than ever. He didn't have many close friends. Let alone ones who knew much about his profession and would recommend him to someone. He shrugged. Business was business.

 

* * *

 

 

Less than an hour later he was looking up at one of the most expensive hotels in Kyoto and double-checking the address. "Pull it together. So it's a rich crazy. No big deal, Tatsuha." He coached himself before heading toward the doors.

They opened before he got there and Reiji stormed out. "It's about time! I don't think we can keep him calm about this much longer."

"Huh? Wait, don't I know you? Who's him? Who's we?" Tatsuha felt a little bewildered.

"He's way too much trouble." Reiji continued, ignoring his questions as she grabbed his sleeve and hauled him through the doors. She waved at the concierge desk, but only pulled him past to the elevators. One let off a 'ding' and opened.

"Tatsuha!" Shuichi shot through the elevator doors, pouncing on him.

"Shuichi?" Tatsuha stared. "Wait, you called?"

"No, Reiji called." Shuichi pulled him into the elevator.

"Good luck!" Reiji waved, stepping back.

"You aren't coming up?" Tatsuha asked the young manager.

Reiji sighed. "I'm apparently to blame. So, no."

"Blame?" Tatsuha felt completely lost as the elevator doors slid close.

"I asked Yuki, but - of course - he said "No". Then he suggested calling you. So Reiji did, but your father answered. And I wasn't sure he'd agree. But he did."

"Shuichi! Back track!" Tatsuha snapped at the singer. "What is going on? Agree to what? What did Yuki say no to?"

The elevator stopped climbing, letting off a 'ding' as the doors slid open.

"Tatsuha-kun!" A second body launched at him.

"Gah!" Tatsuha stumbled into the back wall of the elevator. "Huh? Ryuichi?"

"Tatsuha-kun! Thank-you for coming. You have to save him!"

"Save who?"

"Kumagorou! He's possessed!"

Tatsuha blinked. "The bunny is possessed?" He felt himself twitch.

Ryuichi let him go and stepped back, nodding. "He's all scary! You'll save him, right?"

He wasn't doing it. He wasn't performing a whole ceremony for a stuffed rabbit. Tatsuha Uesugi did not perform blessings on plushies. Then he found himself looking into two pairs of watery, hopeful eyes. He suppressed a groan. Correction - Tatsuha Uesugi did not perform blessing on plushies unless asked to do so by Shindou Shuichi and Sakuma Ryuichi.

"I have my supplies. Where is he?"

"I barricaded him in the bedroom so he couldn't escape." Ryuichi told him, leading the way.

Nor, Tatsuha reflected, had he been kidding about that. The entire bedroom door was blockaded by furniture, lamps, statues, and pocky boxes. He wasn't sure what was with the pocky boxes, but as the whole situation was bizarre he wasn't going to worry about it. "Okay." He sighed. "We have to get in to do this."

Ryuichi nodded. "Hold on, Kuma! We're coming!" He started working on moving things out of the way and Shuichi moved forward to help him. Tatsuha began to pull supplies out of his bag, and suddenly found Ryuichi over his shoulder. "What's that?"

"Incense."

"Does it smell icky? I really don't want to leave the room smelling icky."

"It's sandalwood." He held some out to him. Instead of taking it, Ryuichi steadied his wrist and leaned in to take a whiff. Tatsuha felt his heart speed up at the action, and quickly berated himself for the slip.

"It smells like Tatsuha." Ryuichi's eyes lifted to his.

Tatsuha swallowed. "It burns every day at the temple. It's for purifying."

"Ah." He released his wrist slowly - fingers brushing along his before pulling away. "That explains it."

Tatsuha stared, but Ryuichi simply returned to his task - leaving him all the more confused. 'Was that a come on?' He wondered, a bit bewildered. Shaking his head to clear it, he settled his mind on the task at hand and began to pull out more supplies.

Shuichi suddenly appeared beside him . "What's that?"

He sighed. This could take awhile...

Ryuichi had tied Kumagorou to a chair. The scary thing was one paw had slipped free and he seemed to be partly pulled out of the binding around his waist. Naturally, it had just slipped and been pulled by the rope on the other paw, Tatsuha told himself. There was no way the plushy was really possessed. That was just ridiculous.

"Okay." He handed a gong to Shuichi. "Hit that when I tell you." He handed the incense to Ryuichi. "And light that when I tell you."

He sprinkled salt around the bunny and told himself that the damn thing was not looking at him. He was just letting Ryuichi's weird ideas get to him. He knelt down in front of the chair. "Go ahead, Shuichi."

The clanging sound that followed made Ryuichi shout and cover his ears and could probably be heard three levels down. Tatsuha leaped back to his feet, grabbing the gong. "What are you doing??"

"You said to hit it." Shuichi pointed out.

"Y-You tap it! Once! This is a ceremony, you aren't ringing for dinner!"

Shuichi's eyes filled with tears. "You didn't say that!"

"He's right, Tatsuha-kun. You didn't. Can I light the incense now?" Ryuichi broke in.

Tatsuha resisted the urge to rub his forehead… or hit it against the nearest wall. "Sure. Go ahead." He handed the gong back to Shuichi. "Tap it." He stressed.

Kneeling again he started to chant. The familiar scent of sandalwood incense began to fill the room and he felt it relax him. He signaled to Shuichi. The gong was still too loud, but atleast he didn't keep banging at it. He kept chanting, the familiar calm that came with doing a ceremony filling him. But the incense was strangely getting stronger… and stronger...

He began to cough and a sudden thought set off alarms in his head. "Ryuichi, how many sticks did you light?"

"Sticks?" Ryuichi asked blankly. "I lit whatever you gave me."

Tatsuha paled. "The whole bundle?"

"It's really smoking."

Jumping up, Tatsuha grabbed the bundle of burning sticks and waved it over Kumagorou. "Bless and protect the damn rabbit." He hissed, hoping his voice was too low for the other two to fully understand him. Grabbing the mallet off of Shuichi he slammed it into the gong - causing a large boom to echo through the hotel. He then ran out of the room, locating the bathroom and dumping the incense into the sink - turning on the water to stop it from burning further.

Shuichi escaped into the main room, coughing and holding his ears. "Ow! I thought you were supposed to tap it!"

"Yaay!" Ryuichi ran out of the room carrying Kumagorou. "It worked! Kuma-chan's saved!"

Maybe his eyes were still tearing from the smoke, but the bunny did look cuter somehow. Tatsuha left the incense in the sink and joined them in the main room where the sandalwood scent was least strong.

"Yay! Look!" Ryuichi bounced the bunny in front of Shuichi's face.

Coughing, Shuichi backed up. "I see..."

"Yay! Thank-you, Tatsuha-kun!" He tackled the young monk.

Caught off guard, and still coughing, Tatsuha's footing slipped and they fell to the floor in a tangle of limbs. He stared up at the ceiling, blankly wondering how he'd gotten into this position. Ryuichi's body rubbed against his as the movie star pushed himself up, and Tatsuha blushed as his body reacted to the sensation. Ryuichi gazed at him with a smirk, and the mischievous glint in his eye did not help.

"You're blushing, Tatsuha." He murmured. "Are you not used to being on the bottom?"

"Wha-?" He stared up at him, startled.

Shuichi cleared his throat and Ryuichi glanced over at him. When Shuichi repeated the sound, Tatsuha followed his gaze. The singer, however, wasn't looking at them but someone else.

"Is this a bad time?" Tohma's smooth voice broke in.

"Not at all." Ryuichi didn't miss a beat. He was on his feet in an instant, and reached down to offer Tatsuha a hand up. Tatsuha took it and was surprised by the ease with which Ryuichi pulled him to his feet. The other man seemed so thin he hadn't expected him to be so strong. "But you missed the ceremony! Tatsuha-kun was so cool!"

"What ceremony was that?" Tohma asked politely.

Tatsuha bit his lip, wondering if the question sounded strained only to him. The confrontation with Nagi played through his mind. How did Tohma feel about what had been said that night? Mika had once told him the keyboardist wasn't as unflappable as he appeared.

"To save Kuma-chan!" Letting go of Tatsuha's hand, Ryuichi bounced over to Tohma. "Reiji rented a haunted room! Kuma got possessed!" His eyes grew watery. "It was scary!"

"Kumagorou was possessed?" Tohma looked at his friend suspiciously.

"He really was. I had to tie him up and barricade him in the room!" Ryuichi exclaimed. "I'm so glad Shuichi thought of calling Tatsuha. Kuma's back to normal!" He brought the bunny up for Tohma to see. "Yes! Yes! We were very lucky! No more haunted hotels for Ryu-chan and Kumagorou."

"Good idea." Tohma told him.

"Oh." Ryuichi turned back to Tatsuha. "You were right. It wasn't anything like the movie I saw. But you were really cool, Tatsuha. You're chanting voice is pretty!"

Tatsuha colored at the praise. "Thank-you." He glanced at Tohma again. "Ryuichi, I… I've really got to go."

"So soon?" Ryuich asked.

"There's work to be done at the temple." Tatsuha gathered his supplies. "I really can't stay. Have a good trip back to Tokyo." He headed for the door.

Shuichi glanced at Tohma, who was standing very still - not seeming to watch the exchange. "I should go as well. Before K starts blowing things up."

"Oh, okay. Be sure to call!" Ryuichi told him.

"You bet!" Shuichi grinned, pausing by the door to slip his shoes on. "C'mon, Tatsuha, I'll walk with you."

"Right." Tatsuha slipped his sandals back on.

"Hey, Tatsuha, thanks again! I'd love to see you perform another ceremony sometime. Can I?"

Tatsuha hesitated, but nodded. "If you're ever in town for one of my public ceremonies, I'll let you know." He replied. "Goodbye."

"It's 'See you later', not 'Goodbye', silly!" Ryuichi called after him.

Shuichi glanced at Tohma one more time before offering Ryuichi a smile. "Later!" He closed the door behind them.

"Mood killer." Ryuichi accused Tohma the moment they were alone.

Tohma gave a tense chuckle. "Apparently. Strange. While I've never been the life of the party, the way you and Noriko are, I'm not usually a pariah either."

"Did you come here to scare him away on purpose?" Ryuichi crossed his arms.

"I didn't realize they were here to begin with." Tohma informed him. "I came to ask what you were up to."

Ryuichi smirked, dropping into the nearest chair. "So go ahead and ask me."

Tohma began to chuckle in earnest, his previous tension gone. "No need. You're being so obvious."

Ryuichi pouted. "You're mean, Tohma."

"It's a trait we share."

"Hey, I'm not mean at all. I'm super nice. Right, Kumagorou?" He brought the pink bunny up. "Ryuichi's the superest nicest person around!" He switched to his Kumagorou voice.

"Oh, he can be." Tohma stressed the verb. "Just like I can be." He offered his trademark smile.

Ryuichi set Kumagorou aside and stood up - stretching. "I suppose you're here to remind me that "Mika doesn't want anything like encouragement"?"

"No, I'm here to tell you Uesugi-san would like to thank you for watching out for his son."

Ryuichi's expression grew thoughtful. "Now how does that translate, I wonder? Thank-you but please remember your place? Or is it a blessing?"

"Not a blessing, old friend. Take it from me. Uesugi does not give his blessing so easily."

"So it's a warning?"

Tohma shook his head, his own expression thoughtful. "No. A warning would be more blunt. If he wanted to tell you to keep your distance, he'd tell you not to spend so much time with his son."

"So I don't have his blessing. But he's not shooing me away. I'm a bit surprised by that… but then I expected more resistance from you too." Ryuichi thought a moment more. Tohma made no move to further the conversation or change the subject. The ex-singer's eyes narrowed. "What happened?"

Tohma sighed. "I knew you'd ask that sooner or later. That's why I came to see you in person. Let's go have a drink, Ryuichi. This conversation will be easier with alcohol."

 

* * *

 

 

_Two days later..._

Ayaka saved her progress on her computer with a sigh of relief. She stretched as she stood up, muscles cramped from hours of work. On the Bad Luck day calendar on her desk a heart was drawn. Inside the words 'Hiro's Calling - Video Shoot - Afternoon' were written.

She began putting together a snack when the tune for 'Welcome to My Romance' began to play from the living room. Abandoning the food she hurried over to pick it up. "Ayaka." She greeted.

"Is this Miss Usami?"

Ayaka frowned. "Speaking. Who is this?"

"Miss Usami. This is Sakano. Bad Luck's producer."

"Ah, Sakano-san. I'm surprised to hear from you. I was expecting Hiro. Is everything okay?"

"I'm afraid that's just it, Miss Usami. There was an accident at the video shoot."

Ayaka swallowed. Her heart suddenly sounded loud in her ears, making it hard to listen to what was being said. "I… I don't understand. What sort of accident? Is everything okay?"

"K has sent a car for you and Ms Isei. And of course his family has been contacted."

"Who's family? Sakano-san, I don't understand."

"It's Hiro. He's still in emergency care. The doctors say he's out of danger, but he hasn't regained consciousness."

"Emergency care?" Ayaka's hand caught the chair behind her and she managed to sit down. "Why is he unconscious?"

"We really did take precautions. We checked the site thoroughly. The lights probably had an effect on the ice. It couldn't have been predicted."

"What happened??" Ayaka shouted, fingers digging into the chair arm.

"The ice broke under them. All of them fell in, but Hiro cracked his head on the ice. K got them all out, but he'd stopped breathing at the time..."

"Where?" Ayaka got out.

"Excuse me?"

"Where are you? What hospital?"

"K has sent a car-"

"I don't give a damn about the car! Where are you? Where's Hiro right now?"

"Miss Usami, please try to understand. You are now a figure in the public eye. If you're spotted leaving in a panic, it will draw attention to the fact something is wrong."

"You want me to just stroll out to the car when it comes like nothing is wrong?"

"That's not what I want you to do. But it is what I need you to do. The question is, can you do it?"

Ayaka closed her eyes.

'An accident… hasn't regained consciousness… he'd stopped breathing...' Sakano's words mingled in her mind. Echoed back at her. 'Now a figure in the public eye… draw attention to the fact something is wrong...'

'This moment only exists because you're with me.' Hiro's words from the day her apartment had been destroyed overrode his manager's voice. And her reply to him followed.

'If this is the price for loving you, I'll gladly pay it. I'll pay it a hundred times over.'

Despite the tears streaming down her cheeks, Ayaka raised her head determinedly. "Sakano-san, if you need me to, I'll walk out of this apartment with a damn smile on my face. Now tell me what hospital, and tell K I don't need his driver. I know someone who can get me there way faster."

 

* * *

 

 

Ayaka stepped out of a taxi and headed into a store. A camera flashed behind her and she turned a small smile on the cameraman - who shot some more pictures. Inside the store she waved at the clerk, who nodded. Walking through a door marked 'Employees Only', she exited through the back entrance.

"Hey, Princess." Tatsuha greeted her. He was straddling his motorcycle. "How are you holding up?"

Ayaka took her helmet off of him. "Remember when I told you never to drive that fast with me as your passenger again?" She asked.

Tatsuha couldn't help but smile at the memory. "How could I forget? You boxed my ear."

Ayaka strapped on her helmet and climbed on the motorcycle behind him. "Make that time look slow."

"You got it, Princess." Tatsuha pushed his visor down and revved his engine, before taking off up the alley at top speed.

  
_To Be Continued..._

 


	14. Chapter 14

 

 

The squeal of tires filled the parking lot as a sports car shot down an isle and whirled to a stop that took up three parking spaces.  Ignoring complaints by security, the blonde driver opened the door, stepped out, and slammed it pointedly behind him.  Removing his sunglasses, he shot a glare at the man, who seemed to freeze up at the deadly look in his eyes.  "If you have any complaints, send them to Tohma Seguchi."  Eiri Yuki hissed, before heading into the hospital at a pace that was just shy of a run.

If anyone tried to speak to him, he didn't even hear - walking right past the staff to the elevator, already knowing his destination.  As the doors slid shut, revealing his reflection, Yuki glanced at the serious gaze on his face before looking away, clenching one fist.  The doors let off a loud ding before opening, and he shoved past a man waiting to get on to enter the waiting area outside ICU.

"Yuki-san."  Dressed in a hospital gown and wrapped in a blanket, Suguru looked smaller and less in control than normal.  Neither prevented Yuki from fixing the young keyboardist with a glare.  Suguru lowered his gaze for a moment, than glanced over.  Yuki followed his eyes to where Shuuichi was curled up in one of the chairs.  Though he was dressed in a hospital gown, his hair still looked damp, and both a towel and a blanket had obviously been tossed away from him and now lay on the floor.  "He refused to let the staff look at him..." Suguru offered.

Yuki strode forward, grabbing up the towel as he went, and tossed it over Shuichi's head before the other looked up.  With a shout of complaint, Shuichi yanked it off - hand raised to toss it aside again. His face was covered in the tears that were still swimming in his eyes, but the glare he intended to give to his intruder faded into a wide eyed look upon seeing who it was. "Yu...Yuki?" He choked out.

"Idiot. Do you think getting sick will do that dumb friend of yours any good? Think it's what he'd want?"

"I...I..."

Grabbing the blanket up that Shuichi had discarded earlier, Yuki kneeled on the floor and wrapped it around his lover's shaking frame.  "Getting sick yourself won't change anything."

Sobbing, Shuichi threw himself forward into Yuki's arms. "The sound was so loud… the way the ice cracked. Hiro… he pushed Suguru and I forward away from the center. That's why… why he didn't have his balance so..."

"I got it. He's an idiot too." Despite his words, Yuki wrapped his arms around him, holding him close.  "And I owe him one."

Suguru glanced away from the scene, wrapping the blanket tighter around himself.  The elevator gave another ding, and a moment later a presence at his side alerted him to the fact he wasn't alone.  "Where's K and Sakano?"

"Business."  Tohma replied, he took in the scene of Yuki and Shuichi's embrace before turning to his cousin. "The hotel rooms were already booked for tonight. You three always crash in the same room?"

"It's a tradition."

And it had become one, somewhere along the line. The first time it had been a slip up by the hotel. They'd ended up staying up all night playing video games, watching bad movies, and eating equally bad take out.  If not for the accident, they'd probably be in the hotel room right now, eating lousy sushi and making snide comments at whatever Shuichi had put on the tv.  Hiro would probably have his guitar, and he'd have his laptop and somewhere during the night they'd fall asleep on various pieces of furniture, only occasionally the actual room beds.  And Hiro would find the time to put a pillow under Shuichi's head so his neck wouldn't get a kink, and rescue his lap top before he dropped it off his lap and broke it into a dozen pieces before falling asleep himself.

The thought of going to the hotel room alone wasn't appealing at all.

"I sent someone to buy some clothes for you both. You can be released at any time, but Shuichi needs to be checked before they'll release him."

"They aren't coming, are they?"

"...Business."

"Of course. Because their only son falling into a frozen river certainly isn't a good enough reason to interrupt business."

If Tohma were anyone else, he would have winced at the derisive tone.  Instead he set his hand down on the younger man's shoulder.  "I'm here."

"We work for you."  The response sounded purposefully distant.

"That's not why I'm here."

Some of Suguru's tension eased away, and he paused a moment before replying,  "Thank-you."

 

* * *

 

 

"You still with me, Princess?" Tatsuha asked Ayaka as they rode the elevator up to where they`d been directed.

"I`d rather be anywhere else, but I`m here. I`d rather he be anywhere else… and that`s why I`m not… that probably didn`t make sense." Ayaka spoke softly.

"It made perfect sense to me." Tatsuha`s tone was subdued. "Ayaka, whatever will be will be. But… have faith in him. Do you understand?"

Ayaka glanced at him, then focused her eyes on the doors. "I forget sometimes, this is what you do, isn`t it?"

"It`s part of it."

"I’ll be strong for him, because it`s what he`d do for me."

"It`s good to be strong, but don`t deny yourself the right to be weak either."

Ayaka turned to him, blinking to force back tears, and leaned up to press a kiss to his forehead. "Tatsuha, you need to take your own advice." Tatsuha stared, shaken, then looked away.  Any reply was cut off when the doors opened and shouting reached their ears.

Exchanging a confused glance, Ayaka and Tatsuha followed the shouting to the ICU. Hiroshi`s parents had arrived, and his father seemed to be in an argument with the doctor and nurse in charge. Tatsuha watched Ayaka`s eyes narrow and took a step back, the edges of his mouth quirking sightly. This would be a show worth watching.

At first nobody seemed to pay the petite girl any mind as she moved forward to stand beside the group in question. When neither party made note of her silent request for attention, she walked over to the nurses` station. A vase with flowers sat in generic cheerful glory on the counter. The sound it made when it smashed against the wall instantly silenced the room. Walking back over to the group, Ayaka bowed politely. "Please forgive me. My hand slipped. I will, of course, pay for a replacement." The doctor and nurse gaped at her, and she pushed on. "I am Usami Ayaka and I am here to see Nakano Hiroshi."

"As I was just explaining, Nakano is stabilized, but under watch. It`s against our policy to let anyone in-"

"I`ll tell you what to do with your policy, you-" Mr Nakano began.

"Sir, I will call security if you insist on being volatile-"

"Volatile? If you want volatile, I`ll-"

The second vase, Tatsuha noted, made a different sound when breaking than the first.

"Usami-san?" Mrs Nakano`s eyes were wide with shock at the young girl`s actions.

"Please forgive my clumsiness." Ayaka remained calm. "When will we be able to see him?"

"In a few hours, provided he remains stable."

"Nakano-san, Nakano-san. Perhaps you would join me for dinner?" Ayaka turned to Hiroshi`s parents. "I came here straight from Kyoto, and you probably haven't eaten either, correct?"

"Yes, but-" Mr Nakano began.

"In the meantime," She overrode his protest, turning to the doctor, "I`m certain we`d all be most grateful if you talked to your supervisor about getting around your policy this once. Wouldn`t we, Shindo-san? Seguchi-san?"

The doctor glanced nervously between Ayaka and the two in question. "I suppose I could call him."

"That would be splendid. If I could leave you my number?" It was phrased as a question, but it wasn't a request. The nurse took the number without complaint.

A second commotion erupted before Ayaka's plans got any farther, however, when Shuichi family entered the ICU.  "Shuichi!"  Mrs Shindo was in tears as she embraced her son. Shuichi did his best to calm her while Maiko hastily wiped her own tear-streaked face to hide her previous worry.

Feeling slightly out of place, Tatsuha slipped to the side, but paused as the reunion was interrupted by them noticing Hiroshi's parents.  "Is there news?"  Mr Shindo asked the two.

"Hiroshi is under watch."  Mr Nakano said slowly.  The tension in the room seemed to return, even stronger than there'd previously been.

"I'm terribly sorry.  But perhaps-" Mr Shindo began.

"Your son is the reason he's in there."  Mr Nakano cut him off.

Shuichi took a step back, eyes widened in hurt.  Yuki, who'd stepped back upon his family's entrance, took a step forward - hands taking ahold of Shuichi's shoulders.

"That's out of line!" Mrs Shindo broke into the conversation.

"Hiro would never have been in this stupid band if not for him!" Mrs Nakano snapped back.

"Hiro made his own choice!" Maiko stepped in front of her mother.

"Did he?"

"If Hiro hadn't made that choice, we'd never have met."  Ayaka put in.

Mrs Nakano turned to her suddenly. "Are you on their side now?"

"There is no sides here." Ayaka told her firmly.  "This was an accident.  There's no need to make something more of it."

"Nakano-san."  Tohma stepped forward.  "Please listen to Usami-san.  This was a terrible accident.  Throwing around blame won't help anyone."

"And what about your blame?"  Mr Nakano snapped.  "Your company was neglectful."

"I've spoken to my staff.  All necessary precautions were taken before-"

"Your necessary precautions weren't enough, though.  Were they?"

"I cannot deny that seems to be the truth.  But we never intentionally put any of the band members in danger. Not Shindo. Not your son. And not my cousin."

"Nakano-san.  We're all upset right now.  Let's not do anything we might regret." Mr Shindo spoke up again.

"If Hiroshi doesn't make it, I'll make sure there's plenty to regret."  Mr Nakano threatened.  Turning on his heel, he stormed out, followed by his wife.

In the silence that followed their departure, nobody seemed to know what to say.

"Maybe it is my fault."  Shuichi spoke up unexpectedly.

"Don't be an idiot!"  Suguru snapped out.  "Nobody forced Hiro to do anything.  Not join the band, or come back to it either."

At his words, Ayaka's hands caught each other, fingers twisting together.  "I can understand what Shindo-san means.  I certainly can't claim to be innocent when it comes to influencing Hiro's decision to stay in the band."

"We're all influenced for and against things, but at the end of the day that decision is ours."  Suguru fixed her with a frown, before turning it on Shuichi. "We all stepped out on that ice of our own free will."  His lips quirked slightly before he added, "K didn't even have his gun out."

There was a pause before Shuichi began to laugh, joined by both Suguru and Ayaka.  It was slightly hysterical in wake of the tension, but the release of emotions was a welcome relief.

Feeling out of place again, Tatsuha slipped out of the room.  He hadn't gotten far when a voice pulled him up short.  "Uesugi-san?"

Turning to the doctor who'd addressed him, Tatsuha tensed slightly, before it drained away into resignation. "Kaede-san.  Is everything okay?"

"I wasn't certain it was you, since you were dressed, well..."

A small smile turned up Tatsuha's mouth, "Like a college student?"  He suggested.

"You look very different in your robes."  Kaeda admitted.

"So I've been told.  But you didn't answer my question, Kaede-san."

The young doctor sighed.  "I wouldn't want to intrude.  Are you here for a friend?"

"I brought a friend to see someone they're close to who's in ICU at the moment."

"Is it very serious?"

"We don't know yet."

"I'm so sorry, were you staying with them?"

"She's with others now, I was thinking of heading back.  Did you need me?"

Kaede lowered his eyes. "I'm sorry, Uesugi-san. I hate to be a bother."

"It's them again, isn't it?"

"They've yet to arrive, and at this point..."  He didn't finish the sentence.

"Well, it must be your lucky night, Kaede.  I brought my supplies just in case they were needed.  It will only take me a couple minutes to change."

"Thank-you, Uesugi-san.  I'm so sorry to be a bother."

"It's not a bother, Kaede.  It's what I do."

 

* * *

 

Ayaka had found time to get out of the ICU, though it was only as far as the hospital cafeteria.  A cup of coffee was set down, and she looked up to find Naomi standing over her with a cup of her own. "I forgot to call you." She realized.

"I was informed the same time you were." Naomi gestured to the seat across from her. "May I?"

"Please, do." Her bodyguard sat down, sipping from the coffee cup.  Ayaka stared into her own, but didn't move to drink from it.  "I didn't see you following Tatsuha and I."

"You're not supposed to see me at times like that.  Inconspicuous, remember?"

"Sometimes you seem almost invisible."

"Comes with the job."

"Is there an extra charge for the coffee?"  Ayaka teased.

"I'll just add it to my tab."  Naomi offered a small smile.  "But you might want to taste it before you thank me for it."

"That bad?"

"Probably worse.  I have a lot of experience in hospital food."

"Is someone in your family a doctor?"

"No, my family's pretty average.  Nothing too prestigious.  I spent almost a year recovering from some very serious injuries."

"I'm sorry."  Ayaka looked back at the coffee.  "I didn't mean to bring up bad memories."

"Actually, they're pretty good memories, strange as that may sound."

"It's hard to imagine being in the hospital being good memories."

"Well, the injuries certainly weren't good, but what came of it was.  My idol became my friend, and a stranger became my hero.  Care to hear the story?"

"If you'd like to share it."

"When I was younger, I was a huge fan of a famous idol.  My family wasn't very well off, so I didn't get to go to any of his concerts.  I was usually the last one to own his records even, but I fancied myself quite the fan.  Then I got a one time chance to go to a concert of his. In another country, even.  You can imagine how exciting it was for me."

Ayaka nodded, and the other continued her tale.

"I've… the doctor's say it's not surprising I don't remember the actual incident too well.  The crowd got out of control.  I was knocked down.  Stepped on, and kicked - not exactly on purpose, just by nature of the crowd getting out of control.  I could have been killed.  But, this guy - a guy I didn't even know, he just happened to work for the idol - he jumped into the crowd and got me out."

"Did he get injured?"

"If he did, I was never told.  I lost consciousness somewhere between the rescue and the ambulance.  The injuries were bad. Multiple breaks and fractures. Internal bleeding.  The doctor's said I was lucky because nothing was ruptured, and there was no serious permanent damage."

"...a friend said to me - fans can be cruel.  After what happened to my apartment… I'm so sorry, Isei-san."

"The idol felt horrible too.  He visited me regularly through my recovery.  We became friends.  The guy who worked for him, he only came a couple times.  I don't think he remembers me."

"I'm sure he does."  Ayaka disagreed.  "I don't think you'd forget something like that."

"I hope so.  Because, even after all these years, he's still my hero.  The reason I learned to fight, and chose this profession.  I guess I want to return the favor the best way I know how."

They were both silent for a time, then Ayaka spoke up. "This idol is the same one that sent you to my bodyguard interview. Isn't it?  Will I ever get to know his name?"

"I'm afraid that's his choice."  Naomi told her.  "Maybe one day."

Ayaka had a feeling she already knew it, but she nodded all the same.

 

* * *

  
Tohma's texts were polite, informative, and short.  Ryuichi knew him too well to be fooled.  A few strings pulled later, he found himself at the hospital.  Visiting hours were probably officially over, but between Tohma, Yuki, and Shuichi there was more than enough power to have the hospital make an exception.  That wasn't even taking into account K's guns.  But what he came across was not what he set out to find.

He didn't recognize Tatsuha right away, despite not being unfamiliar to the sight of him in his robes.  His mind was elsewhere, and he was only being polite by not sliding around the two men as they moved up the hallway.

"It will be a hard time for my brother." The man was saying.  "They even grew up together.  Being without her, I don't know if he can make it."

"Amitabha. This world is only a resting-place. Only by reason of having died does one enter into life."  The monk spoke gently.

"...do you think, in the future, they'll meet again?"

"I've never known anyone who could tell the future, though I've known a few with accurate guesses.  But they say even the touching of sleeves in passing is caused by some relation in a former life. So it would not surprise me."

"Perhaps such a thought will help him.  Thank-you, again.  I wish I had something to give you in return."

"There is no need."

"You guided her in her passing, that was… it gives me hope."  The man's eyes were trusting.  A longing for comfort.

"Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without."

"Of course. Thank-you, though. Just thank-you."  The man didn't seem to fully listen to those final words, only bowing low, and heading off.

The monk sighed, and began to turn, when someone spoke from a side hallway.  "Ever the great spiritualist, Uesugi-san.  So noble.  Such great repeat of doctrine to help save the lesser soul."

Tatsuha whipped to face the speaker, and Ryuichi took a step back to hide behind the nearest thing he could find, which happened to be a water dispenser.  The speaker was another young monk.  His mouth was quirked in a derogatory fashion.  Tatsuha's own mouth curled into a sneer. "Akio.  How nice of you to finally get here."

"I had something important to do.  Thanks for filling in."

"What was it?  Some last minute blessing of private business for some cold hard cash?" It was impossible to miss the anger in the young man's voice.

"Money shines even more brightly than Amida."  Akio's tone was smug in face of the other's fury.

"You disgust me."

"Oh, watch it there.  That didn't sound so spiritual and loving. Someone might see you out of character."

"This isn't a charade. This is part of who I am."

"Right… the part that doesn't hop clubs and bed partners every other night."

"One has nothing to do with the other!"

"Hey, I'm not dissing it.  All I'm saying is that you're just as much as a hypocrite as I am." Akio strode out into the main hallway, and Tatsuha stepped forward as well.  Ryuichi could practically see him bristle at the other's words.

"I didn't abandon a man who's wife was dying because another job offered me more cash. You had an obligation to be here."

"Get over it. We aren't really saving souls here.  It's work like any other work.  I follow where the money goes."

"And skim off the top before giving the donations to your temple."  Tatsuha spat out.

"You think everyone should work for nothing like you do?  Get with the program, Uesugi.  That pathetic little shack of yours isn't going to upkeep itself on donations of chickens and goat's milk."

"We do just fine."

"So many temples in Kyoto.  No one would care if there was one less, you know. Probably better that way."

"Keep wishing for it, Akio.  Keep wishing."

The other monk circled Tatsuha slowly, his smirk deepening.  "Don't worry, Uesugi.  If it does come to that, I'll put in a good word for you at my place.  You can water the stones."  With a laugh, he headed up the hallway, leaving Tatsuha to stew silently over his words.

Closing his eyes, he breathed deeply, ignoring the laughter that echoed back at him. "Amitabha."  He murmured the words to himself. "Cause-and-effect is like a wheel… Goodness is the return for goodness; evil is the return for evil… When it's time to pay the piper, Akio. I don't envy you."  Before he could turn to leave again, another voice interrupted.

"Uesugi-san?"

Taking another deep breath, Tatsuha turned to Kaede.  "Kaede-san."

"I'm sorry to ask this but we just had an emergency case come in."

"I just saw Akio - isn't it his business?"

"It would be, but he is with someone right now."

"Really. Are they rich?" Tatsuha obviously couldn't resist the jab.  When Kaede winced, he ran a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, Kaede-san. I shouldn't take it out on you."

"I'm sorry, Uesugi-san. I could see if someone else can make it in time..."

"It's alright, I'm here. Lead the way."

The young doctor nodded, and led the way down a side hallway.  Left unnoticed, Ryuichi stepped out of his hiding place, and watched the two, glancing at the sign that pointed the way they'd gone, he noted the Emergency Room was in that direction.

  
_To Be Continued..._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone who's read Cold Breakfast and Hot Green Tea, this chapter may help shed some light on the fight Ryuichi and Tatsuha had in it. Akio is essentially to Tatusha what Taki was to Shuichi. I admitted before that I didn't like Taki, and my creation of Akio is a glimpse into why. To me, Taki's interest in being a singer was less for the singing, and more into the money and power he got out of it. Essentially, he was a sample of the corruption and greed that came along with that world. But, since you'll find these things regardless of what work you do, Akio is me assigning those same wrongs to Tatsuha's world. But, like my brief moment spent with Ayaka's parents, it won't be a major plot. I use it to give Ryuichi a taste of Tatsuha's world, and - in future chapters - to draw them closer.
> 
> We'll be spending some time around the hospital the next few chapters. Tatsuha and Ryuichi will interact some more, Ayaka gets to hang out with random characters, Tatsuha and Tohma will finally talk things out, Taki will return, and we'll even get some more tidbits of Yuki/Shuichi and Bad Luck broship.
> 
> Amitabha - Just think of it as a mini prayer in the face of... well, life. Um, I'm showing my geekdom for another fandom of mine, sorry. There was this show, and the one monk tended to say this when essentially the situation was so bad or serious there was little else to say. I borrowed it for Tatsuha.
> 
> Watering the Stones - Pretty much one of the lowest duties you can get.


	15. Chapter 15

 

Suguru was asleep, lying across three hospital chairs.  He was dressed in casual clothing, so the suit jacket covering him clearly wasn't his own.  Ryuichi only had to note that Tohma himself was in shirt sleeves to figure out who the jacket belonged to.  "I'm sure the hospital would provide a blanket if you asked."  He sat down besides Tohma without any sort of greeting, but kept his voice low so not to disturb the slumbering youth.

"I believe I texted that everything was fine."  Tohma glanced at him out of the corner of his eyes.

"Yah, well, you lie."

"I suppose it wasn't the whole truth."

"You think?"  Ryuichi noted that across the room Shuichi was sleeping on Yuki's shoulder.  The blonde was asleep as well - head tipped back against the wall.  "So… Nakano?"

"Still under observation."

"His girlfriend?"

"In the hospital somewhere. Isei is watching her."

"She's safe then."

"Safe, yes."  The way he stressed the word implied a thousand things.

"How is she holding up?"

"Remarkably well."

"Not truly love him well, or determined to be strong well?"  Ryuichi asked the question cautiously.

"I thought I was the cynical one."  Tohma offered a cold smile, before turning his eyes away again.  "Holding up as best she can well."

Ryuichi nodded.  He'd hoped that was the case, but the suspicion was natural after all their years in show business.  "How are you holding up?"

"Resisting the urge to commit homicide."

"That well, huh?"

"They didn't even call him."

"Is that so surprising?"

"He deserves better."

"So did you."

To that Tohma had no reply.  He glanced over at Suguru.  "He refused to leave.  He's gotten really close with them."

"Then he'll be fine in time."

"I don't think any of them will be "fine" if Nakano doesn't make it."

"Ah."  The simple syllable seemed to say that Ryuichi understood far more than what the statement had been intended to say.  He reached out a hand to squeeze Tohma's shoulder.  "It's not your fault."

"It's my company."

"You weren't there."

"K's always been a little irresponsible."

"K's the best there is at what he does. He would have never placed them in true danger."

"It's so much easier when there's someone to blame."

"Life would be easier in black and white - I'm not denying that."

Tohma took in a deep breath, and let out a sigh as if he'd been holding it in for quite some time.  "I'm not used to being able to do nothing."

"You're here. That's not nothing."

 

 

* * *

 

"They say no news is good news."

Ayaka's head shot up at those words. With a small cry of relief, she flung herself at the man standing next to the hospital garden bench she'd retreated to. "Yuuji!"

"Hey, kid, how are you holding up?" Yuuji returned the hug, letting her cling to him.

"I should be asking that of you." Pulling back reluctantly, she reclaimed her seat on the bench - leaving room for Yuuji to sit beside her.

"My understanding of the situation is Mom and Dad are being idiots, you've got the hospital staff jumping through hoops, and there's no news yet on Hiroshi." Yuuji didn't take the seat right away as he listed points off on his fingers. "That means everyone's left you to be the strong one. And that doesn't seem quite fair."

"Tatsuha told me to let myself be weak too."

"Good kid. I didn't see him in the waiting area."

"He left to give us some privacy, I think. His motorcycle is still here."

Yuuji nodded, and sat down. "Have you cried?"

Ayaka lowered her head - hiding her face behind her hair. Her hands clenched into her skirt, turning white from the pressure.

Yuuji reached over to lay a hand on top of hers. "You need to let it out."

For a moment she remained as still as a statue, then she turned to embrace him again, sobs shaking her frame. "How can you be so calm?" There was less accusation in the question as desperation.

"I know my kid brother. He's got way too much to live for to let go now."

Ayaka didn't reply - she couldn't seem to stop the tears now. Everything knotted up inside her slowly coming loose. The fear of losing Hiro. The stress of having to pretend nothing was wrong in front of the media in Kyoto. The tensions between everyone at the hospital. She'd been strong through it all, but she needed this moment of release herself.

After a couple of minutes the sobs lessened before finally stopping. She pulled away from Yuuji, wiping the last of the tears from her cheeks. "Thank-you." Her voice sounded rough - her throat clogged from the break down.

"Anytime. We're practically family."

It was Yuuji's infamous joke to her and Hiro. One that flustered them both every time. This time there was a slight ache from the words, but she didn't want to dwell on why. Didn't want to think in terms of what might not be. 'Because he's going to be fine. We're going to make it through this.'

The opening of Welcome to My Romance interrupted the moment and Ayaka snatched up the phone. "Usami Ayaka."

"I'm sorry for the lateness of my call, Miss Usami. You left word with our staff to be notified of any changes to Mr Nakano's condition and the decision regarding visitors."

Ayaka found her throat tightening and she struggled to get the next question out. "Hiroshi, he's... okay, isn't he?  Can we see him?"

"Mr Nakano has remained stable and can receive visitors."

Relief poured through her and despite how drained she'd felt from her breakdown mere moments before she felt like crying again. "He's awake?"

"No, Mr Nakano is still unconscious. He's been taken off watch, though, and you left instructions-"

"Yes, I did. Thank you so much. We'll be right there." She wasn't even sure when she'd stood up, but Yuuji was standing as well. She threw her arms around him excitedly. "He's going to be okay! He's okay!"

"What did I tell you? Hiro knows he's got it too good to just let go." Yuuji grinned. Despite his words, Ayaka could see the relief in his face.

"Your parents-" She began.

"I'll get them. Go on. I know you need to be there."

"Thank you. I mean it, Yuuji. For everything." Ayaka made no pretenses of being calm. She took off at a run toward the entry doors.

Left alone, Yuuji's smile faded and he sat down on the bench with a heavy sigh. "Damn, you scared me, Hiroshi. You better not do that again."

 

 

* * *

 

  
She'd woken everyone up by bursting into the room, except for Yuki, but Shuichi assured her he could sleep through anything.  Hiro was no longer in the ICU, though, which meant they had to go elsewhere to even see him.  The nurse directed them on how to find the appropriate room while Shuichi ushered them ahead while he woke up his lover.  She was going to wait for Yuuji and his parents to arrive, but Suguru had assured her they would send them in and to go ahead.  He and Shuichi would have their moment later.  Unable to hold back, she'd hurried inside.

He was paler than she'd ever seen him - even his lips were pale.  His head was bandaged and he was covered by a blanket.  She wasn't sure what his injuries were, not having thought to ask any questions of the staff on duty in the wing he'd been moved to.  She crossed the room slowly, listening to the steady beep that was his heart beat.  Oxygen levels were also being monitored, and a blood pressure cuff that started up to take a reading startled her until she recognized what it was.  An IV was connected to his hand, steadily dripping something into his bloodstream.  Pain killer?  Something to make him sleep peacefully?  She wished she knew.

She laid her hand on his hand first, feeling strangely frightened by the reality in front of her.  Slowly she leaned forward to brush his cheek with her lips, surprised how cold his skin still felt.  No reaction came from her touch. Were they keeping him unconscious with the drugs, then?

"You sure scared us." She whispered to him.  "Your parents are here, and Yuuji.  Shuichi and Suguru haven't left the hospital since they brought you all here.  They're fine, by the way.  I know that would be important for you to know.  Shuichi told me how you pushed them forward...

"You just had to play hero, didn't you?  You're just selfless like that.  You're such an idiot sometimes.  You drive me crazy.  Be a little selfish once and awhile and..."  She was close to tears again, and she took a deep breath, calming herself down.  "I'm not going to cry.  You're fine now."  She lifted his hand gingerly, holding it between both of hers.  "You'd feel bad, too, if you woke up to me crying, wouldn't you? So I'm just going to have to be strong for you until after you're awake.  But I reserve the right to blubber all over you later, you know.  And possibly give you a smack to the head... just as soon as it's all healed."  A small smile tugged at her lips, and she adjusted her grip on his hand.

"I'll just wait here for you to wake up... if that's okay..."

 

 

* * *

 

Tatsuha sat on the bench of the hospital garden, his shoulders slumped and his face in his hands. Ryuichi studied his posture for a moment, taking in yet another facet of the young man in front of him. Though he'd wanted to learn more about him, he hadn't meant for it to occur in such a voyeuristic fashion. Starting with his conversation with Tohma - Seduced for revenge, his friend had said. His deepest thoughts and feelings twisted against him. Tossed aside. Heart broken.

He'd said other things. About not realizing the young man hated him. About not blaming him for it. Ryuichi saw no hint that Tatsuha hated Tohma. He had a feeling the other was taking things for granted without asking the right questions to the right party. That was Tohma. Through and through. Always thinking he had the right answers. Annoyingly, he often did. Other times, though, he was completely wrong. Ryuichi had a feeling this was one of those times.

That wasn't what made him seek Tatsuha out now, though. The scenes he'd witnesses earlier hadn't left his mind, and a quick conversation with the doctor he'd spotted him with had provided more information. Now watching him deal with it all alone, he felt the desire to... he wasn't even sure what. Comfort him, cheer him up perhaps, protect him even. Shouldn't someone be there doing just that? His brother, or Tohma even. Did he always deal with everything alone?

He allowed his feelings to move him forward, and stop beside the bench. When Tatsuha raised his eyes he stared at him in complete confusion. "Am I dreaming?" He asked.

Even though he knew he should stay serious, it was too easy a comment to resist. "Do you dream about me often?"

Tatsuha's laugh was a little too sharp. "Not lately. And definitely not like this."

"Hmmmm..." Ryuichi gave a non-committal response as he studied him up close. He'd clearly gotten back into casual clothes hurriedly, as there'd been no attempt to straighten or smooth them. His hair was messed up, and his eyes were red from exhaustion. He saw no hint of tears, though.

"Why are you here?" He sounded drained.

The answer was he'd come for Tohma. It wasn't what he'd approached him to discuss, though. Cruel though it might have been, he went for the kill. "Aren't you too young to be performing death rites?"

Tatsuha's eyes were full of questions, but he didn't ask any of them. "I was in lower secondary the first time. That's too young. Now?" He shrugged.

Only years of performance skills kept his expression even. He felt shock and even outrage at the idea of Tatsuha dealing with such a thing at such a tender age. He opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off.

"It wasn't supposed to happen then. But I've never looked my age, I guess. I was traveling alone and I was still in my robes. His mother begged me for help. Father apologized afterwards for not being there. He didn't let me handle them for a couple years. But I'm a monk. It's part of our work, and I couldn't avoid it forever."

"I still think you're too young."

"Ya, well, you've never taken me seriously." There was a slightly bitter edge to the words.

It was a fair accusation, he supposed. "You've never let me see the real you...no,  that's not quite true. Let's say rarely instead. You've rarely let me see the real you."

Tatsuha frowned at him. "This from you?"

"I'm always real."

"Liar." Tatsuha seemed shocked by the words, raising a hand to cover his mouth even.

Ryuichi laughed, and took a seat on the bench next to him. "It's true. I am. An expert liar, even. But I wasn't lying. It's fun to act however I want. If others think it's childish, so what?  The problem with most people is they take life too seriously. I'm serious when I need to be. It's too draining for me to be serious all the time."

"So why are you being serious now?"

"Because you need me to be."

"Still treating me like a kid."

"You want me to treat you like an adult?"

"Yes!"

"That might be a dangerous request, Tatsuha."

Tatsuha gave him a quizzical expression and he resisted the urge to sigh, and an equally powerful urge to kiss the younger man senseless. It was an urge that seemed to pop up whenever he spent a length of time in his presence. And the more he learned about him, the harder it was to resist. But it wasn't  the right time, or the right place. He had to stay focused.

"How many people did you watch die tonight?" He asked instead.

Tatsuha instantly lowered his head, dark hair hiding his expression. It took a moment before he got the strained answer. "Too many."

"Why are you out here alone then?"

"...Because I'm too tired to drive back to Kyoto even though I know Father would have a bottle of sake ready with a phone call and would sit with me all night. Because Ayaka has too much to deal with at the moment to ask her to cheer me up."

"Your siblings?"

"...this is Father and my secret. I don't… want them in on it. It's special because they don't know. And they wouldn't understand even if they did."

"Understand what?"

Tatsuha hesitated before speaking again. The words were slow, as if they were being pulled reluctantly from his lips. "The deaths are hard. It's true. There's a feeling to that moment… it's hard to describe it. It's beyond us, I think. To grasp it. It's powerful. Sometimes it's horrible, and sometimes it's sad, and sometimes it's really peaceful. But it's always powerful. That alone can make your head spin. Make you feel all sorts of things. But then there's their loved ones to deal with and that's the most draining part.

"Some get angry. A lot cry. There's so much feeling. Hurt, anger, despair. And they look at you for answers. There's things I've been taught. Sayings I know by rote. And they feel right to me most of the time. But the way they look at you can be... I mean, I want to help them but I can only... I'm not-"

"A god?"

Tatsuha's eyes shot up to meet his then. Pain, confusion, even guilt swirled in their depths. He'd been a fan. Had he called him such before?

"People look for answers in others. Guidance. Acceptance. I told you about fame, remember? The not fun part."

Tatsuha closed his eyes and nodded.

"I'm not a god either. I have no more answers than you do. But if you're feeling off balance and need something  to hold onto right now..." Carefully, afraid it was too hard a push but needing to try, he reached out a hand to brush through Tatsuha's hair gently. "I'd be honored if you chose me."

Tatsuha kept his eyes closed, but moved neither closer or farther away. "It's hard to deal with that once in a night, but over and over? You know when you spin til you can't and the whole room tilts on you? That's what my emotions feel like right now."

Ryuichi lowered a hand to his shoulder, and gave it the lightest of tugs. "Then lie down until the world rights itself. I can promise, it always does. I know that much."

Slowly, so slowly Ryuichi swore he was going to pull back, Tatsuha laid across the bench with his head in his lap.  Though he'd faced away from him, he could still feel his breath ghosting warm air over his thighs. It wasn't really comfortable, for either of them. The bench itself was hard and cold. and too short for Tatsuha's long body. He was leaning against him as if the world truly was spinning, though.  After another long moment, he cautiously began to run his fingers through his hair. The silence that stretched between them was almost comfortable but not quite. More needed to be said.

"I know it gets better. But sometimes I forget." Tatsuha finally spoke up.

Ryuichi hesitated before replying. "Me too… so how about we make a promise? We call when that happens? We can hold onto each other til it passes."

"I'd like that."

He felt Tatsuha relax then; could feel his own body do the same. The silence between them was welcome instead of waiting. Tatsuha buried his face into his legs, and his fingers continued to comb through his dark locks. They still hadn't moved by the time dawn lit the sky.

  
_To Be Continued..._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this chapter is a huge step forward in Ryuichi and Tatsuha's relationship. They aren't in love yet, but they're getting there. The issue between the Nakano and Shindo families still need to be resolved, which may or may not happen yet considering Hiro isn't awake yet… and isn't that odd? Hm... Tatsuha has one or two more hurdles to face before he's truly ready to get romantically involved again, not to mention clear the air with Tohma.


	16. Chapter 16

"In the entertainment news, it was made official today that Bad Luck's Winter Tour is canceled. A few days ago, NG President Tohma Seguchi held a press conference regarding the rumors of injuries sustained by Bad Luck's guitarist Hiroshi Nakano during a video shoot. Last week, a camera phone video shot by an unidentified member of the video crew was released on the web, and immediately went viral."

The reporter on the screen disappeared, replaced by fuzzy, shaky footage that showed Shuichi, Suguru, and Hiro struggling to maintain their footing and move toward land as ice cracked and dissolved beneath their feet. Lighting and camera equipment were swallowed by the water and Hiro shoved his two bandmates forward as a loud crack was heard. The two tumbled forward, managing to get a grip on solid ground, though their lower bodies were still plunged into the river - the splash from the impact further drenching them. Hiro lost his footing, falling backwards - his head connecting with the ice before he disappeared completely into the water below.

The tv reporter came back on the screen. "After the video's release rumors of Nakano being severely injured and even killed ran rampant. At the press conference, Seguchi quickly set the record straight, though the news wasn't as hopeful as fans may have wished."

The footage cut to Tohma, surrounded by reporters and microphones in front of NG. "Nakano-san's condition is currently stable. However, he has not regained consciousness since the accident. Under the circumstances, the medical staff cannot offer anything conclusive about his condition until he wakes up."

Various questions and voices competed for attention after the statement and Tohma signaled for silence, before giving one the go ahead to speak. "Are Fujisaki and Shindo alright?"

"Both were spared any major injuries, and have already fully recovered."

Questions raced around the room again, until the next speaker was signaled. "In the video it looks like Nakano saved Fujisaki and Shindo. Has that been confirmed?"

"Both the crew present and Fujisaki-san and Shindo-san themselves have confirmed that Nakano-san moved to protect them, possibly putting himself more at risk. It was a heroic action and they were both deeply affected by it."

"There's been rumors that a member of the staff rescued Nakano. Can you confirm that?"

"I can, but they have asked to remain anonymous."

Some complaints were made, but quickly died down. Tohma studied the crowd before continuing. "I don't think I need to tell you that all those who are close to Nakano-san have been deeply affected by this. I hope both the fans and the media will respect their need for privacy and solitude at this difficult time."

The tv cut back to the reporter. "Aside from a few minor incidents, Seguchi's request seems to have been respected. There has been an outpouring of well wishes from fans and other media professionals, with multitudes of gifts, cards, and flowers dropped off both in front of NG and the hospital where Nakano is under care. So far, however, there has been no update on the guitarist's status, leaving us to assume it remains unchanged."

"A sad set of circumstances." A second reporter spoke up.

"It truly is."

"After the break, we'll be covering-"

The tv clicked off. Yuki glanced around the hotel room before looking back at his laptop screen. After another minute of silence, he shut down his work and grabbed his keys. "Damn brat probably hasn't eaten anything today..." He muttered.

 

* * *

 

  
"You know, normal college students of this era have laptops."

"So says the teenager who still tapes shows with video cassettes."

"Most teenagers don't live on temple grounds." Tatsuha pointed out.

"My teachers say my use of old fashioned methods gives my work a unique touch." Ayaka took the book bag from Tatsuha.

"So essentially we're both messed up."

"I prefer to think of it as preserving old fashioned values."

"Backwards and messed up."

"Provincial?"

"Too stubborn to change?"

"On the bright side, we're probably two of the most normal people in our circle of friends."

"That probably says more about the kind of people we keep company with than us."

Ayaka laughed, and Tatsuha was glad to hear it. She'd been too serious lately, and - while it was understandable under the circumstances - it was good to see her smile again.

"Thank-you for bringing it. I'm lucky my teachers are allowing me to send in my assignments on-line."

"How are you managing that without a laptop?"

"Suguru-san has been letting me borrow his."

Tatsuha's eyebrows shot up. "Cos' let you use his laptop?"

Ayaka paused. "Yes..." She admitted slowly.

"He doesn't let anyone touch his laptop."

"Anyone? Or just you?"

"Shuichi either!"

"Not sure that's proving any points."

"Ha. Ha." For a moment they were silent, heading up the hall toward the wing Hiro was in. "So." He was reluctant to broach the subject, but knew it had to be done. "How much longer can you get away with sending your projects by computer?"

"Probably another week. Then I'll have to go back to classes." Ayaka's tone was immediately subdued.

"It's already been a week." The statement was a question. Several in fact. Luckily Ayaka and he had known each other long enough that he didn't have to ask them all.

"The doctors say, under the circumstances, there's no way to know when he'll wake up. It could be five minutes from now. Or five years."

"That's… wow."

"Hiro wouldn't want me to put my life on hold for him. So, even though I want to, I can't. It would be... the worst way to thank him for all he's given me." Hiding behind her hair, it was hard to see her expression, but he wasn't sure he could bear to see it anyhow. Her tone was painful enough.

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." He spoke softly.

"...Is that how you do it?"

Tatsuha's smile was self-deprecating. "I try."

"Maybe I'll try that too."

 

* * *

 

  
_"Making a lie of what we want to be real._   
_We both pretend it isn't what we feel._   
_There's a confession on my lips I'll never say._   
_Far too early it was far too late."_

Take-out boxes in his hands, Yuki stood frozen outside of Hiro's hospital room door. He knew Shuichi's singing voice when he heard it. He knew Shuichi's writing when he heard it.

_"I see the tenderness in your eyes._   
_Why the hell am I alone tonight?_   
_They say love is selfless,_   
_But we both know it's a lie."_

Gritting his teeth, and deciding he'd heard more of the song then he wanted to already, he pounded his foot against the door. "Stop torturing people with your writing who can't fight back and open the door!"

The door opened within seconds. "Yuki! Don't be mean, and don't shout - we're in a hospital!"

"It's not the same as a library, idiot." Yuki breezed past him to set the take-out boxes on a counter. "You were louder than me anyhow."

"Oh. You heard." He swore there was a blush on his cheeks as he opened a box of the food to peer inside. "It's not finished yet. The song, I mean. Not the food."

"Finishing it won't make it better." He sniped. It really wasn't that bad, but the lyrics bothered him. He didn't want Shuichi writing what sounded like a love song for anyone else. Especially Hiro. Somehow that seemed... dangerous.

"Don't be an ass. Of course I'll finish it."

"Whatever." He didn't want to argue about it. It made it too real.

"Tatsuha and Ayaka will be up in a minute."

"What's my brat of a baby brother doing in town?"

"Bringing Ayaka her schoolwork."

"She still staying here?"

"K got her a room nearby, but she's barely using it." Shuichi admitted.

"Sounds like two other people around here."

"Suguru is finally catching some sleep."

"And you? You didn't come back last night." Yuki poked at the food in the styrofoam box, but didn't touch it.

"I crashed in the room Suguru's renting."

Yuki closed up the box. It didn't even smell appetizing anymore. "Why?"

Shuichi stared at him blankly, chopsticks halfway to his mouth. "Why what?"

"Why were you with Suguru?" He'd waited up for him, before deciding he'd probably passed out at the hospital. The bed had looked too empty, so he'd worked on his novel until he'd passed out on his desk. Waking up at his desk had been disorienting and strange. Like stepping back in time into a life that he'd once lived. A life he didn't want to step back into. He very well could owe Hiroshi Shuichi's life, but that didn't stop him from resenting the time Shuichi was spending with him, waiting for him to wake up from the coma. And now he'd lost time with him to Suguru of all people. It was stupid to feel jilted - he hadn't promised to come back. He'd only assumed it. All the same, Shuichi being away was always hard on him. And him him being away when he wasn't away was harder. His feelings on the matter were too complex, and trying to figure them out didn't help. He could feel a headache coming on.

"He needed some company. Hiro and I are pretty much his only friends. This has been hard on him too."

"He's Tohma's cousin. He can handle himself."

"Suguru is Suguru. He's not Tohma." Shuichi defended the younger boy.

"I didn't say he was Tohma. I said they were cousins. Family." He shrugged. "You know what I mean."

"Suguru's strong, but he's not invincible. Even Tohma has your sister."

The suggestion that Tohma relied on his sister felt odd. He didn't dwell on their relationship. Both Tohma and Mika were such strong personalities it was difficult to think of them as having weaknesses. They did, everybody did, but he didn't dwell on it. Why did Shuichi always have to be the smart one of them when it came to feelings? "Are you coming back to the hotel tonight?"

"I was thinking of staying here with Ayaka." Shuichi confessed. He opened his mouth to say more, but Yuki cut him off.

"Fine. If you're just going to wait around here the whole time, I'll just head back to Tokyo." Dropping the food on the counter, he headed for the door.

"Yuki! Don't be like that! Yuki!" Shuichi chased after him.

"I don't like hotel rooms. You know that." He kept walking.

"You didn't sleep last night?"

"I slept."

"You slept at your desk, didn't you?"

"I'm not getting into this. You can stay here the whole time, I don't care." Yuki snapped. He was feeling a thousand things, and he hated feeling at all. Talking about it was out of the question. Shuichi's words only reminded him of waking up and how it felt like his old life. He didn't want to be reminded.

"Did you eat? Are you eating? Yuki, it's only been a week. I'm on tour for weeks." Shuichi stepped in front of the elevator door buttons so he couldn't hit them. "I'll come back tonight. I'll ask Tatsuha to stay with Ayaka."

The elevator dinged, and Ayaka and Tatsuha stepped off, confused by the scene that greeted them. "Hey, bro, I saw your car-" Tatsuha began, but Yuki ignored him and stepped onto the elevator.

"I won't be here tonight. I'll be in Tokyo." The blonde told Shuichi, hitting the ground floor button.

"Yuki, this is hard enough on me! Why do you have to act like this right now?" Shuichi's eyes filled with tears.

"What does it matter to you? Why don't you go back to singing your fucking love song to Hiroshi?"

"Love song? What are you… Yuki, that's not-Yuki!"

The elevator doors closed, and Yuki leaned back against the wall - feeling slightly dizzy as the elevator started down. A part of him whispered that he was over-reacting. He squashed it down, and waited for the elevator to stop spinning.

 

* * *

 

 

"What was that?" Tatsuha resisted the urge scrub his face in frustration. Couldn't troubles come one at a time? Not in deluges?

The tears that had been in his eyes were streaming down Shuichi's face, and the popstar turned away to rest his head against the wall. "Yuki being Yuki."

"I know my brother's an ass, but what set him off?"

"I've only been to the hotel room once this week."

"...oh." Tatsuha winced. "He probably isn't eating or sleeping right."

"I go on tour for weeks!" Shuichi slammed a fist into the wall. "I can't handle this right now."

Tatsuha took turns with Mika checking up on Eiri when Shuichi was away, but he didn't think now was a good time to tell the other that. Besides, his brother had been holding up better and better, so it couldn't just be that. "What was that about a love song?"

"It isn't a love song!" Shuichi whirled back. "It's a song for Hiro, but it's not a love song. It's not finished. He heard the wrong part."

"Ah..." Tatsuha glanced at Ayaka, who hadn't said a word so far. He couldn't fully understand the emotions playing in her eyes, but she gave him a small smile.

"Why don't you check on Eiri, Tatsuha? We'll be fine."

He definitely felt like he was missing something, but somehow he was fine with that. "I'll give it my best shot." He nodded, and opted for the stairs instead of the elevator. He'd seen his brother's car and instead of trying to track the blonde, he headed for the parking lot instead. It surprised him when he made it before the other, and the pale look on Eiri's face didn't help. "You look like shit."

"You always look like shit." Yuki ignored him, heading for the driver's side door.

"We look the same. Insulting me is insulting yourself."

"You should get a haircut."

"Ugh. Now you sound like the old man."

"You're just trying to piss me off, aren't you?"

"Y'know, usually I think jealous fits between couples are kind of cute, but when it comes to Shuichi and you - it's just you being more of an ass than normal."

"I don't want to talk about it." He opened the door, and Tatsuha plopped himself on the hood of the car. "Don't think I won't drive off with you sitting there."

"I know you won't drive off with me sitting here." Tatsuha challenged. Yuki climbed into the car, but didn't close the door. "If you're not eating or sleeping right, you're probably not taking your medicines right."

"You aren't my fucking sitter."

"You two are way too codependent for me. I mean, I know different people need different things from a relationship, but seriously, you two are codependency personified."

"Because you're such a fucking expert on the subject."

"Part shrink, part spiritual guide. It goes with the job description."

"You don't know shit about real relation-" Yuki cut himself off, but the rest of the sentence was obvious anyhow.

The words stung at a wound that was still healing, and for a moment Tatsuha couldn't even move. He bit his lip to keep from saying anything he'd regret, and stood up instead. He heard his brother curse as he began to walk away.

"Hey, Hey! Tatsuha, there's some food up there. Eat it for me, or it'll just go to waste!"

Tatsuha turned a glare on the other, noting that the other had gotten out of the car, but still too hurt to appreciate the act. "When you finally get the balls together to start saying real apologies, let's have this conversation again." He spat out, before whirling away to head inside.

 

* * *

 

 

"There's still some pieces I'm working on." Inside of Hiroshi's hospital room, Shuichi and Ayaka were seated in chairs next to each other. A beat up notebook full of Shuichi's scribbled handwriting was resting on the Kyoto girl's lap. The room was filled with the steady beeping of the machines monitoring Hiro's vital signs.

"It's… I mean, I can understand how he might have misinterpreted it as a love song." Ayaka spoke slowly.

"It's not, though. And I wasn't even here last night. I crashed on Suguru's hotel room couch. He's dealing with this alone. He needed a friend."

"Yes, but... you know Eiri needs you too. It's -- you two balance each other. He's probably feeling a bit unbalanced with you so preoccupied."

"I didn't realize I hadn't been checking in on him at all. He probably isn't eating or sleeping right."

"Which would affect how he acts as well." Shuichi stared out the window silently, and Ayaka stood up to go to stand besides Hiro. "I like the song."

"It's an album song, as K would call it. It would appeal to a smaller group of people than a single is required to. All the same, I don't think I'd ever put it on an album."

"Too personal?"

"Something like that."

"Eiri was my first love."

Shuichi turned to the girl, a small frown coming to his face. She wasn't facing him, in fact she seemed to be concentrating on Hiro's face. "Alright."

"And Hiroshi was yours. That song says as much."

Shuichi longed to be holding something. A notebook, a mic, a pink plushy bunny - he didn't really care. His hands needed to be doing something. Standing up, he went to the window, gripping the ledge for the lack of objects nearby. "It does."

"Your and my first loves are the opposite's life love. I think that links us all very deeply. In good times, it's a good thing. But, sometimes we are reminded of how... easy it would have been for things to turn out different."

"You could have married Yuki."

"And you could have chosen Hiro."

"...did you and Hiro ever-"

"He accused me of sleeping with Tatsuha, because he looks like Eiri." Shuichi's head shot around to stare at her, but Ayaka kept speaking. "I retaliated by suggesting that if there were pictures of him kissing you, he wouldn't deny them. It took a confession on public television to set things straight."

"That and Tatsuha breaking down our dressing room door with his bike." Shuichi offered.

"Ah, I'd wondered what brought him around. We don't... make things easy on each other in this group."

"I guess we don't." The popstar nodded. For a moment the room was silent. "I don't know... how to patch this one up."

"I think I know who could help."

 

* * *

 

 

The last person Tatsuha expected to see was Tohma, but that was exactly who was waiting for him just inside the hospital doors.

"What's going on?" Was the keyboardist's first question.

"Just Eiri being Eiri."

"I've never seen you walk away from him."

"Well maybe I finally got tired of taking hits when I'm already down." He snapped. Yuki's words were still stinging and he couldn't handle another blow yet. To his shock, Tohma backed off.

"I'm sorry. I was only concerned."

"So go talk to him yourself."

"I meant for you as well. Though you probably don't want to hear that from me."

Tatsuha winced. Was what happened with Nagi going to haunt him the rest of his life? He had the urge to call Ryuichi and ask his advice. Then he remembered he'd already given it.

He'd patched things up with Eiri through that advice, but had yet to try the same with Tohma. It was just so much more complicated when it came to his brother-in-law. Things involving Tohma were always complicated.

He wasn't sure this was the time for it. With Shuichi and his brother in a fight, and Nakano still in a coma. Eiri had already hit him where it hurt but... he wanted to have this conversation. He wanted to move forward, and doing that meant facing everything Nagi had revealed.

"Seguchi-san..."

Tohma paused, clearly taken back by the formal address. "Tatsuha-san?"

"...Have you seen the hospital garden yet?"

"I haven't had the pleasure. Would you care to show me the way?"

The walk was silent, both to the garden and through it until they found an unoccupied corner. Tatsuha wasn't sure how to begin the conversation, and the long walk had only fueled his nerves. Tohma made no attempt to speak. Instead he seemed calm as he gazed about the garden - waiting for him to start. He reminded himself that Mika had said Tohma wasn't as unshakeable as he seemed and took a deep breath before forcing words out.

"It's about Nagi."

"Has he been bothering you?" There was something distinctly threatening in his tone. Tatsuha was glad it wasn't aimed at him.

"No. I haven't even seen him."

"Good."

"Let me rephrase that. It's about what Nagi said that night."

"I see..."

He opened his mouth to say more, but was cut off.

"I truly don't feel there's any need to explain. Your feelings on the matter are completely understandable." Tohma's tone was carefully neutral.

"That's just it! It's not that simple. I... I was young when it all happened. And nobody explained anything. I know I was too young to understand some things, but it was like this elephant in the room. Nobody said a word. It all went unsaid, and I was frustrated and confused."

"I'm not sure I'm aware of how much you know now." Tohma stated cautiously.

"Still not everything." Tatsuha admitted. "But Eiri's said some things, and Shuichi has said others. I also do volunteer work at different places. I don't think I made the connection after my first conversation with a rape victim, but later I figured it out. There's also the fact he's always let me crash at his place. So I've seen his medicines over the years."

An honest look of surprise passed over Tohma's face, but he quickly recovered - nodding slowly in understanding. "I was unaware of your volunteer work. You no doubt recognized the behavior patterns in Eiri."

"It's... not your world." Tatsuha chose his words carefully. "In places like shelters, hospitals, even help hotlines - many feel safer talking to a religious figure. They're always grateful for volunteers. It was good for the temple. And the volunteer work helped with credit in school, given how much time I was required to miss for my duties."

"I'm beginning to feel we've rather neglected you, Tatsuha-san."

"At times I may have felt that. But, over all, I've grown to accept how things turned out. That's why I wanted to talk to you about this. I... everything changed when you entered our lives. I knew from the start I'd have to deal with Mika leaving, and that was hard - she wasn't just my sister, but my mother figure. But when Eiri came back someone different, at that time it was like losing my best friend. We regained some of that when I grew old enough to understand better, but the earliest times were the hardest."

"I was to blame for the destruction of your family?"

"Your only crimes were loving my sister and trying to help my brother."

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions, they say." Tohma's tone was almost bitter. Tatsuha wasn't sure what it felt like - actually seeing something of Tohma's true emotions and not his perfect image. It seemed he was being disillusioned in a lot of ways lately, but at the same time it wasn't a bad thing.

"You were the catalyst that changed our world, but... I don't hate you for it. I may have been angry with you when I was younger, but I've never hated you. Mika's happy, and I honestly think Eiri's found happiness, even if he's too stubborn to enjoy it sometimes. So, even if nothing's the same... things are transitory. Right? I don't hate how we are now. I'm sorry that I'm the one who brought trouble to us."

Tohma shook his head. "Taki was our trouble. You were the one dragged in. I'm sorry we did not protect you better."

"I don't need a protector."

Tohma hesitated, studying him, and Tatsuha could almost feel the shift between them. The loss of tension. His brother-in-law's gaze was almost mischievous as he asked his next question. "Not even Ryuichi?"

"Wh-what's that supposed to mean? What's he been telling you?" Tatsuha felt embarrassed. He was certain Ryuichi wouldn't betray any of the conversations he entrusted them with, but that left the question of just what he might have told his ex-bandmate to cause the question.

"Nothing much about his time with you. Would you care to elaborate, maybe?"

"No, I wouldn't!"

"My, you are being secretive. I suppose since you're legal now, I can't say too much. But Mika would say plenty if-"

"We aren't doing anything!" Tatsuha quickly interjected. He didn't even understand the changes occurring to his and Ryuichi's relationship - he didn't need his sister getting overprotective for nothing. That would be too embarrassing for words. Tohma grinned at the outburst, and Tatsuha groaned and buried his face into his hands. "I walked into that, didn't I?"

"Yes. Though..." And his tone turned serious. "I think that's a good thing, right now. Can you honestly say you're over what happened with Taki?"

Tatsuha lowered his hands, studying Tohma's expression, but seeing no hint now of his emotion. He contemplated the question, and was rather surprised by the answer. "Not quite yet, but... I am getting there."

  
_To Be Continued..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tatsuha and Tohma finally had their talk! That brings Tatsuha one step closer to healing. Sorry for the lack of Ryuichi in this chapter. He'll be back soon. But what's a long Gravitation story without a little bit of Yuki and Shuichi, right?
> 
> The lyrics to "We Both Know" were written by me, please don't take them without permission!


	17. Chapter 17

 

Very few people had the audacity to walk in on him without asking permission. He'd just managed to have fights with both Shuichi and Tatsuha. Mika, to the best of his knowledge, had no reason to be there. "I'm not in the mood to talk to you, Tohma."

"That's good. I'm not in the mood to talk to him either. He gets clingy when he feels guilty."

Yuki turned a glare on Suguru. "How did you get in?"

"I bribed the desk clerk." The younger man announced as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

Actually, guns, grenades, and threats of bodily harm were probably more normal for their group. What that said about them exactly was up for debate.

"Well, then you know the way out." He turned back to the suitcase he was repacking.

"You know, I sincerely hope - when I do fall in love - I'm not as stupid about it as the four of you."

"Oh, I'm sure you'll be much worse. You're a Seguchi through and through."

"I'll choose to take that as a compliment."

"It wasn't intended as one."

"I know."

Yuki snorted and didn't reply. Suguru watched as he zipped up the suitcase, and let out a sigh.

"You told me once that you knew you had to share him. You just didn't have to like it."

"This is different."

"Because it's Hiroshi."

"Because he loves him."

"But you already knew that. Besides, if he was going to leave you for Hiroshi, he'd have done it a long time ago."

Yuki turned to glower at Suguru. The younger man had taken to leaning casually against the wall, arms folded and looking far too comfortable for his liking. "Is there a reason you're here?"

"Several, but since the real question you want me to answer is what I want from you, that's simple. I want you to come back to the hospital. Listen to the B-side song Shuichi wrote to help himself deal with Hiroshi's injuries, and then decide if it's worth running back to Tokyo over."

"And if I refuse?"

"I'll have to call in my cousin for back up."

Yuki resisted beating the smile off Suguru's face by reminding himself he'd wind up back at the hospital that way, too.

 

 

* * *

 

  
"How are your parents?"

"Still idiots. Yours?"

"Still crazy. If you ever wonder where Shuichi gets it from..."

Yuuji smiled at Maiko's jest. "Why don't you grab a lousy cup of coffee and take a seat?"

"Done." The grin she offered reminded Yuuji of Shuichi. Despite her consistent claims of being the normal one in the family, Yuuji had concluded a long time ago that no member of the Shindo family was "normal". But, then, whose family was?

Maiko disappeared off into the hospital cafeteria before reemerging a couple minutes later with her own cup of coffee. She took the seat across from him, blowing on her coffee to cool it as they both took a moment to consider how safe it was - or wasn't - to continue the conversation.

"I never knew your parents had a grudge against my brother." Maiko finally dared to say.

Yuuji shrugged. "I knew they had a little bit of a grudge, but not this bad. I rather thought they still counted me as the worse influence on Hiroshi."

"We've been a part of each other's lives for so long, we're practically family. I'm sure it hurts everyone to have your parents cut them out."

"Themselves most of all, even if they're too stubborn to admit it. I know your mother is the first mine calls when things happen. But my parents are as stubborn as they come. There's no easy way to fix this."

"We're going to try, though. Right?" Maiko looked at him hopefully.

Yuuji sighed, but offered her a smile. "The things we do for family..."

 

 

* * *

 

Eiri had been silent the entire ride to the hospital, and Suguru had chosen to respect that.  Despite having come up with the plan to get him to the hospital, and have him hear the song Shuichi had written, he wasn't completely sure what the outcome would be.  Somewhere along the line, though, Shuichi and Hiro had become two of the most important people in his life.  Complain he might, but in the end he knew they had each other's backs.  Hiro's injuries were because he'd been looking out for them, and part of Shuichi's current argument with Yuki was no doubt because he'd crashed at his rented room rather than gone back to check on the writer the previous evening.  Sometimes he wondered when his life had gotten so complicated.  He avoided dwelling on the fact he rather liked it that way.

They'd done a quick recording of the song in the afternoon.  He texted when they were in the elevator, and the opening he'd done on his synth was playing when they reached the door to Hiro's room.

_"Making a lie of what we want to be real._  
_We both pretend it isn't what we feel._  
_There's a confession on my lips I'll never say._  
_Far too early it was far too late._

_"I see the tenderness in your eyes._  
_Why the hell am I alone tonight?_  
_They say love is selfless, but we both know it's a lie."_

Shuichi's voice was good recorded, but he'd never felt it held the same emotions as it did live.  He supposed he felt the same with most music, though.  Recordings couldn't capture the same raw emotions that were put into a real performance.  Tatsuha often said he was a snob when it came to music, and he would probably be the first one to agree.

Eiri's expression was pinched as he listened, and he had a feeling the opening lyrics were what he'd heard the previous day.

_"We have no voice_  
_In destiny's choice._  
_If I fall, will you let me go?_  
_We both know._

_"Falling in love isn't a dream._  
_It's painful self truths and reality._  
_Your smile belies the pain in your eyes,_  
_And all I can do is pretend I'm blind._

_"Sometimes love_  
_Is holding on._  
_Other times it's letting go._  
_We both know."_

There was an interlude, all played by his synth.  It was full of the problems a first draft always was, and he could hear exactly where Hiro's guitar should be.  They'd made the choice that afternoon, though, not to have him synth it in.  Hiro would record it once he was better.  If he didn't get better...

Shuichi hadn't been ready to face those words.  They stung Suguru to think about, but he'd already forced himself to consider it.  If Hiroshi didn't get better, the song would never be finished.  Their album would never be finished.  Shuichi would withdraw to simply writing lyrics, and he would find a band to manage. If his cousin wouldn't take him on as a manager, he'd threaten to start his own production company - and take Shuichi with him.  That had been the plan for the future anyhow.  Something they'd discussed late on tour nights, half asleep and drained from the time on the road.  Hiro had said he'd do stints as a studio musician for them.

Nothing set in stone - considerations for the future.  Five; ten years down the road.  It wasn't supposed to happen now - or like this.  Suguru just hoped for all their sakes, Hiro would wake up soon.

Eiri's expression was becoming less pinched and more thoughtful at the second set of lyrics.  Suguru stepped back as Shuichi's voice overlayed the recording of the final lyrics.  Not from within the room, but in the hallway with them.  Eiri's head snapped immediately to where the other man stood a few feet away.

_"Fate has a way of making things right._  
_We're both where we're meant to be tonight._  
_They say love is selfish, but we both know it's a lie._

_"Sometimes love_  
_Is holding on._  
_Other times it's letting go._  
_We both know."_

For a moment, silence reigned in the hall as the recording came to an abrupt end.  Suguru stepped forward and entered the room, closing the door behind him to give them some privacy.  Ayaka glanced up from where she'd been controlling the player that held the song.

"I'm really not good at this whole fixing relationships; comforting people thing."  He mentioned to her.  "I don't know how I keep getting stuck with the job."

Ayaka came over to lay a hand on his shoulder.  "Looks like you do pretty good work to me."

"...Thanks."  He wasn't as surprised as he once might have been to know he actually meant that word.

 

 

* * *

 

  
"I said finishing the song wouldn't make it any better."  Yuki finally spoke into the silence, eyes glancing away from the question in Shuichi's gaze.

"It's not finished yet."  Shuichi returned.

"Yah, I heard.  You left out the guitar."

"Any true Bad Luck song needs all three of us.  But we won't be producing that one."

"...You should."

"...Give me just a few more days, then we can go back to Tokyo together."  Shuichi suggested cautiously.

"I have to take a trip to Kyoto.  I said the wrong thing to Tatsuha."

Shuichi's lips quirked, and he crossed the space between them to embrace him.  "Yuki, you almost always say the wrong thing."

Yuki scowled, but one of his arms wrapped around Shuichi in return. "Yah, I know."

 

 

 

* * *

 

Ryuichi stared at the manuscript on the coffee table from his prone position on the couch. It felt like the damn script was staring back, even though he knew it was scientifically impossible for an inanimate object to do so. He pulled Kumagorou closer, but the comfort in that felt too much like irony. Morbid, bitter irony.

Sitting up, he set the plushy aside and glanced back at the innocent looking stack of stapled papers. Science be damned, it felt like it was staring.

He contemplated calling Tohma, but he didn't think that would help. Tohma would, of course, tell him that - logically - paper didn't stare. But he would also encourage him to turn down the offer they represented. Because he was his friend, and Tohma protected his friends - logical or illogical.

A better option would be to call Noriko. Who would not reassure him that paper couldn't stare. But who would, in true motherly fashion, refuse to give her true opinion on the matter. Instead, she'd only reassure him she'd support whatever decision he made.

There was K, who was another keeper of his secrets. But under the circumstances his ex-manager would probably only put the ball back in his court. Perhaps even lecture him for not taking responsibility to begin with.

He barely resisted the urge to lie down again. Maybe bury his head under the nearest cushion. "Stop the world, I want to get off." He muttered. The words, strangely, took him back to the week before and he remembered that there was someone else he could call.

He pulled out his phone, calling up the contacts. "Let's get a director's viewpoint."

The phone rang twice before being picked up. "Hello? Ryuichi-san?"

"Tatsuha… I thought we were closer than a 'san'." He couldn't resist pouting over the line, waiting for the reaction.

A small nervous chuckle came over the speaker. "Sorry. I wasn't sure if it was appropriate to just use your name."

"Thousands of people use my name without permission, Tatsuha." There was both amusement and irony in his tone. "It would be silly to deny my friends the right."

"I'll remember."

"Remember...?" He prompted, and grinned when Tatsuha immediately understood.

"I'll remember, Ryuichi."

"I suppose I really should ask you permission to use your name." He spoke thoughtfully. "Since you're a private person, it's more precious."

There was a pause, and he got the impression that Tatsuha was both surprised and embarrassed by the statement. "I wouldn't put it quite like that."

"For such a confident young man, I sometimes think you don't know your own worth, Tatsuha."

There was another pause, and he couldn't help but imagine the slightly flustered look he'd witnessed on him during the dinners he'd shared with his father and him.

"You can use my name freely. I don't mind."

"You indulge me too much. It's a bad habit. It will get you in trouble."

"It kind of already has before."

A reminder of the favor - through K - he'd performed during the singles competition between Bad Luck and Nittle Grasper. Kidnapping his brother to distract the popstar. In the end, it had been a wasted effort, seeming only to drive Shuichi that much harder to win, and win fair and square. Fight me with your music. The difference between their characters. He wasn't a nice person, Shuichi was.

"See? I have a habit of walking all over people. You should make sure I don't do that to you."

"I'll try to remember. Though, to be honest, you'd hardly be the only one who has." The tone was a touch self-deprecating.

Ryuichi frowned at those words and made a mental note to check into who it referred to. "You should stand up for yourself. Or alternatively know people who can do it for you. If you need anyone beaten up, I have all the right connections."

Some people would have found the offer disturbing. It was all part of the duality of his existence. Something those closest to him had to deal with every day. A lot of people could not handle both sides of his nature.

Tatsuha, however, only laughed. "Thanks, I'll remember that." There was a pause, neither awkward or unpleasant. More the warm feeling of two old friends sharing a joke. "So." Tatsuha said as the silence began to stretch.

"So?" Ryuichi asked, confused.

"Why did you call?"

"Oh." Ryuichi's good mood dissipated, and he looked sullenly back at the stack of stapled papers. For a minute he wasn't sure where to begin. "The world is spinning." He finally offered.

He was concerned in the brief silence that followed that Tatsuha wasn't going to understand the reference. When he did reply, though, his tone was serious. "I'm here til it rights itself."

Ryuichi felt a small smile curl his mouth, and he laid back down, cradling the phone to his ear. "Is there a memory that you don't like remembering? That's… painful to remember?"

"...a couple."

"And are there things that remind you of them?"

"Isn't there always?"

"Some more easily than others."

"True."

"Would you agree to do something, even if it drudged up those kind of memories? Because you knew some good might come from it?"

There was a pause, and when he replied, his tone was subdued. "We all have to face our demons sometime."

"...huh." His eyes on the manuscript, Ryuichi's face was serious. "Some demons are hard to face.,,, Hey, Tatsuha, would you chant for me?"

"Chant?"

"Like you did for the ghost. Something maybe to dispel demons?"

"I… well..." He seemed taken back by the request.

"No?" The smile that curved his lips held no joy. "That's alright. You don't have to."

"No, I'll do it, I just... nobody else ever asks me things like that."

"They're loss is my gain." Ryuichi's smile was gentle. "So?"

"Okay. I think I know an appropriate one."

As Tatsuha began to chant, Ryuichi closed his eyes and let the sound soothe him.

 

_To Be Continued..._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lyrics to We Both Know were written by me. Please don't use them without permission.
> 
> Hiro is still not awake, Yuki still has to apologize to Tatsuha, the Shindo and Nakano families are still at odds (Maiko and Yuuji are working on it, though), and now there's the question of what's bothering Ryuichi. Okay, so maybe it didn't progress very far... but every little bit is a step forward. Believe it or not, we're probably somewhere between 2/3 through the fic now. There's one last major incident and dozen or so loose ends, but the finish line is actually in sight.


End file.
